Where Does the Time Go?

Josh and I had a wonderful anniversary date. He surprised me with a romantic dinner at Lawry's (we started that tradition on our first, but haven't been in about 3) which was delicious as always. Little did I know, we were getting a whole night away from the kids! That is very rare in our marriage, mainly because we don't have anyone close to stay at our house. It was much needed time; just to relax, reconnect and talk without any interruptions.
Ian will be moving out next month, and he needs the transition, a step to adulthood. I'm proud that he has been getting up and going to church with a few friends. If nothing else, he remembers the importance of keeping Christ central in his life. I hold firm in Gods sovereign plan for Ian.
We are now 25 weeks into our 5th pregnancy and all is going well. Don't get me wrong; I am tired, winded, swollen and feel huge but I am so thankful to my God for the trust in growing and raising another child. I pay each day for this sweet baby boy that his spirit will be in tune with God's plan and purpose for him, that he will do great things.
Jeremiah 1:5

Lucky Number 8

Today we celebrate 8 years of wedded “bliss”.  I use that term in a light-hearted way because anyone who is biblically committed to their marriage knows the ups and downs, trials and turmoil’s, arguments and fights  and many roadblocks that come with the journey of marriage. 

A smile gently comes across my face when I think back to our engagement and wedding day.  It wasn’t the usual planned event most women choose to have; it started out that way, but it ended with a much smaller ceremony on a Tuesday. I am so grateful for that day.  It poured like a tsunami for 2 hours prior to our ceremony time.  Just as we pulled into the parking lot, the skies cleared and a rainbow appeared.  As I look back on that, having the scripture knowledge I do now, it is a reminder that no matter what trials are before us, His love and presence will always be there.  God  showed himself to us that day, regardless of where we both were in our relationship with him.

We have had so many ups and downs.  In the first 2 years of our marriage we had: 3 job layoffs, 2 children and a new house.  Talk about a test of one’s strength and perseverance alone and as a united couple.  Through all of it, we made sure we both remembered the vows of commitment we made to each other.  Sure, there were times each of us was ready to walk…but we didn’t.

I am so proud of the husband and father Josh has come to be.  I have watched him grow in himself and in his children, the love he has for them is beyond amazing.  He came along in Ian’s life at a pivotal transition point, and the 2 of them are no less a father/son that if they were blood related.  The bond is stronger than that. Josh has also been able to pursue his dreams, albeit not the fullest…yet.  I am proud of the example he has set in that when you go after your dream, you leave no regrets.  I am thankful to him for allowing me, and supporting me, in being a [most of the time] stay at home mom.  Working part time has blessed us in many ways, and he is a tremendous father to our kids when I am away.  I never imagined that he would be as nurturing as he is with them…he has surpassed my expectations!  I never have to worry about the kids when I’m away, he’s got it all under control.

I love the relationship we have grown together.  I look forward to the life experiences we have in the years to come.  Each “trial” we have encountered and conquered has brought us closer together, stronger together and reminds us that we are better together. We balance each other in so many great ways.   I love you, Josh.  A deep, intense and respected love.  I hope my prayers for you continue to grow, uplift and support you.  Thank you, not only for your love but for the beautiful family we have and for choosing to live this life with me.

In Him,Forever Blessed~

Jenny

 

 

My Giving of Thanks

I’ve been wanting to blog, been thinking of blogging, but I’ll be honest; when the ‘free time’ rolls around…I’m ready for bed.  This is the time of year when I begin to feel a bit of resentful fury build inside of me and it is now that I need to lean unto Him even more.  For my Lord does not want me to feel this way towards my fellow brother and sisters in Christ.  You see, beginning November 1 Face book, twitter and blogs begin to fill up with “Thanks of Day so-and-so”, a time when people begin to list the many ways they are thankful and the many facets of life to which they have gratitude.  I enjoy reading these.  For the most part.  Except for the generic comments and those that are completely out of line with ones actions and daily walk. So this year I opted out.  I’ve come to the realization that it is not necessarily what people read of me on the outside that counts, or even my behavior, but more so how I am behind closed doors.  How am I showing my God thanks and gratitude when my kids are running amuck, dinner is late and the laundry is piling up?  What about when my temper is short and I’m exhausted?  Better yet, each time I feel the urge to want better things?  These are the times that try me, the times I need to drop to my knees and give praise to my Heavenly Father for all that is.  You see, more and more I am finding contentment in what God has given to me.  Through all the tragedies of years past, be it financial downfalls (i.e. our recession-which we avoided), acts of nature, health conditions, the loss of our unborn child, the homeless and desolate in our USA and the always present famine and pitiful living conditions of third world countries I am seeing how truly blessed I am to have even the most meager of “American style” living conditions.  Not to mention that the celebration of Thanksgiving has turned into nothing short of sales and shopping. So much for family and gratitude.  Does anyone plan family time or they only setting their destinations into the GPS system of their overly expensive vehicle?  I’m disgusted by it (duh!) and therefore I don’t shop over the holiday.  It’s my way of rebelling, my way of honoring the original meaning when Pilgrims and Indians gave thanks to a Lord who poured out blessings (even though not many Indians came to believe in the Gospel)

I am so thankful for my God and the freedom to worship him publicly.  To have the freedom to spread the Gospel in any way I can.  I am grateful for Josh, my (ex-smoker!)husband of 8 years who, being an atheist, has never shown hostility towards my Christian beliefs.  Who will not leave me because of my belief, for this I am so very thankful.  I consider it a blessing to grow and walk my testimony in life with him.  I hold on to the hope that he will one day see the truth, but if not, I have faith in Gods sovereign plan. Each of my 4 children are a blessing in my life, each in their own way.  This includes our 5^th that was lost and now my 6^th growing inside of me.  To know that he will feel the love of God before taking his 1^st breath, that is an amazing gift. Through my BSF program, my eyes have been opened in ways I never imagined to the Word of God.  Through the power of the Holy Spirit, I am gaining such knowledge and understanding with each passing lesson.  It leaves me hungry for more!  My group this year is amazing, and I am thankful for the Lords hand in choosing us all to be together.

I could go on and on and on but quite honestly, my God knows my heart and that is what ultimately is most important.  My prayer is that each of you will take a few moments to really think about what you have been blessed with.  Is there a need that has not been met?  As we trend into Christmas season, let’s not get so caught up in the secular view of giving items of “wants” over items of need.  Our children are so bombarded with commercials and ads for toys and things that are not necessities.  Let’s remember…3 gifts were plenty for Jesus, is that not plenty for your family?  Considering how he selfishly and brutally gave of himself to death for all of us on the cross, let’s return that by remembering him in an honorable way.

 

In Him,Forever Blessed~

Jenny

 

 

 

 

Truth [not] in ourselves

I HIGHLY recommend taking less than 5 minutes to read this!!!  All I could say throughout it was "Amen!"...for the deeply convicted Christian, it's another refreshing breath of true evangalism.

A Letter from Kabwata: The Curse Of Motivational Speaking: Last Sunday, a young man came to see me after our church service. He is the kind of guy who shows up at church once in a while and then disa...

Class Participation

I ponder things, inside my own crazy insightful mind. As I was getting ready for church this morning I began to think, "Who takes notes? How many people come to service to hear a lesson on the Word and how many just come to show face?  Do Christians not realize that a sermon is a lesson in Theology, or do they just view it as a fellowship of believers for coffee and song?"  So I took note today.  I looked around our packed 9:30 service (roughly 700+/- each of 2 services) to see how many had Bibles and notebooks or iPads or taking notes on the program.  Not many.  Not many at all.  The majority sit quietly and listen, are playing on their phone or whispering to their neighbor.   
I love our pastor, Bruce Miller.  He gives a sound, biblical based sermon with historical comparison and application to the here and now.  So as any good student of the word, I take notes.  I used to write them on the program handout but it became to cumbersome to track and file them, so this year I started a notebook strictly for Sunday Service.  I also have one for BSF, again...our lecture is an extension of our study and therefore I take "class notes" to broaden my understanding; just like Sunday Sermon.
Today we covered the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant, Matthew 18:23-35.  I needed this.  Just like I always need God's word.  Our "word of the day" (as Bruce likes to do every so often) is Nimshal which is the real life meaning of the parable.  The Marshal and Nimshal (both Rabbinic teaching) together make up the parable, the Marshal being the fictional story.  Bruce also described the Nimshal as "a brief (usually one sentence) explanation of the parable at the end of the story".  These are the types of understanding I long to learn, they open up so much more clarity into the Gospel and thus the Spirit allows me to see a deeper intended and applicable meaning. One aspect of the lesson that stood out to me was when Bruce was talking on self condemnation.  He challenged the sanctuary with asking who is the only one who can give forgiveness?  Well, we all know it's God.  But what hit me hardest was hearing that saying "you can't forgive yourself is saying that the blood of Christ is not good enough to cover your sin".  Wow.  Spot on, Bruce. Well said. 
Grace is free.  He extends it to all who believe.  But Grace carries an obligation, to pay it forward if I may use that term.  Matthew 6:14-45 reinforces this"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men of their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins"   Notice the plurality of sins.  We are not to just forgive once or one sin...we are to forgive them of sins.  Why? Because if we are breathing, we have sinned...and we have done it more than once. Jeremiah 31:34 "for I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more." Bruce was also sure to add that forgiveness and excusing are NOT the same.  Excusing requires no forgiveness.  He also reinforced that forgiving does not mean subjecting oneself to repeated abuse in any fashion.  I appreciate the realness he puts into his sermons.  He isn't afraid to tackle infidelity, abuse, addiction or any evil that come upon any of us.  It's real, it's out there and Satan affects the believer just as much as the non believer. 

"The focus of forgiveness is NOT on what people have done TO us, but what Christ has done FOR us" ~Bruce Miller, lead Pastor of Christ Fellowship

Might I challenge all of you to pick up a $1 spiral notebook and start taking notes in "class"?  Not only will you learn, you will have a wealth of resource to look back on when you find yourself in any of many situations. Most importantly, it grows you to share the Gospel with everyone you come to meet.

Life Amazing

It's been a crazy last 2-3 months.  Between dealing with Ian and his summer antics (for which he is now on track) and trying to keep the 3 girls occupied in this darn heat I was so ready for school to start!  I feel a little guilty for that, but let's face it; 3 kids running amok in our 1800 sq ft home is not anyone's idea of fun.  Or sane. 
We didn't get out for any vacations this year.  With Josh's schedule and my having to 'bow down' to a certain person at work, I wasn't going to dare ask for any time off.  The plan is to head back to NY next summer and spend a few weeks with family, maybe hit the NY State Fair?  I know my dad would LOVE for us to come back. 
I feel quite distant from scripture right now.  I miss BSF (which starts up next week!!!) and I have not found interest in the summer studies through church.  I haven't even read any good books since June.  I need to get close to my Bible.  I still pray daily, without ceasing.  The girls and I still talk about God, about Jesus and his impact in our lives.  Abigail warms my heart, watching her grow in her walk with Christ.  She has started to challenge her daddy in his belief, in a very sweet innocent but determined way.  I look forward to getting back into having the Word as part of my daily bread.
My Lord never fails to amaze me.  Whether it is in regards to my family or myself.  Just as I realize that I am trying to hard, focused to intently, not putting my life completely into His hands and letting His purpose take the wheel He amazes me.  Josh and I have been trying since September to conceive again.  A choice we made for ourselves, to grow our family.  We lost one pregnancy in February.  When I look back, I realized how intensely I worked to plan that.  God then turned around and showed me who really is charge.  Just as He gives, He takes away.  In June I threw out the thermometer, ditched the charts and said, "God, your Will and your time.  Only you know what is to be in our lives."  Well, on July 15 we found out once again what it is like to be parents all over.  We were giddy when we looked at the positive sign on the pregnancy test!  I had to hide it behind my back so we could see it together.  It was quite amusing, silly and young love all over again.  It reminded us just how much we love each other, why we love each other and how grateful we are to do life together.  Seeing the heartbeat inside our little fetus last week imprinted yet again, that when you let God...He will do amazing things in your life.  My dh may not believe in Jesus, but I am so very blessed to share with him my ministry, my testimony and 5 reasons to see HIM in all we have.

Oh Snap!

Well, I did it again. Holy ba-jeebas (?) batman! Look at the date on my last entry.  Yikes.

Ok, so it’s been a crazy hectic end-of-school-year-summer.  I honestly have been engrossing myself into some good books, keeping myself daily in the word and striving to be a better Christian example in my home.  Of course having the girls running amuck everyday doesn’t make things calmer. 

Hard to believe one of our kids is a High School graduate.  That is proving to be quite the transition. For us.  We were expecting a change in our parenting style when Ian turned 18, but failed to prepare ourselves for this transition!  He’s great and we love him but this boy is going to have to figure it out on his own.  The concrete is hard and cold, but he’ll do just fine.  I’m sure once the cash runs out he’ll be 1. Working more and 2. Finally enrolled in college. Better late than never, right?  Yes, he is still living at home…just thinks this is either Motel 6 or a frat house.

Few books to recommend:

Circle Maker (Mark Batterson)

Screwtape Letters (CS Lewis) if you haven’t already.

And always…Not A Fan (Kyle Idelman)

I’m going to move on to a John Piper heavy reader…I need some good sustenance to chew on.

 

I know this is short, but sitting here my eyes are heavy and I’m brain dead.  Kids went down without a problem so maybe I should follow suit.

 

In Him,Forever Blessed~

Jenny

 

April, the Diamond Month

I can't believe I've gone this long without a post.  Many a times I've been in the midst of a normal daily chore/routine and thought "I really need to blog" or I'm reading one of my books or in the middle of a great daily scripture lesson and gotten excited to blog about it.  Then I realize I really need to finish my lesson and well...you mom's know how that goes.
This month has flown by!  I'm going to try to retrace the month, so here goes:
We celebrated Keara's 6th birthday on the 9th.  She is such an amazing little girl!!  She has gone through quite a lot in her short years and has developed an amazing spirit of strength and endurance.  Despite being allergic to any and all animals, she still aspires to be a veternarian!! She loves Jesus and the fact that she will get to see Him one day in Heaven.  She is doing really well in kinder this year, reading better and works hard to improve.  She is our quirky girl, you never quite know what to expect after she has gotten dressed in the morning!!

April also brought us a first~ Prom!!  Heritage High School celebrated A Night In Paris at the McKinney Cotton Mill. It is the inaugural event as this class is the first (charter) graduating class!!  Senior 2012 all the way.  We are looking forward to June 2, 2012 as Ian walks across the stage to accept his High School Dipoloma, well deserved and hard earned.

 

 Ian and Meagan Daniel

Finally, I enjoyed my first ever Christian women's conference Pink IMPACT hosted by Gateway Church, Southlake campus.  The music ministry with Kari Jobe rocked!! I loved the poet, she brought goose bumps.  Anything ballet or piano just makes my heart swell and weep tears of emotion.

I must say, seeing Beth Moore live and in person was awesome!! I really enjoyed her message, learning that of the 6 makings of a healthy child of God, I'm lacking in about 4.  It was/is an interesting spin on the area's of your life you are most impacted and the importance of having someone who "fleshed" those out to you.  Most noteably: Grandma Templar is my (1)nurturer, always was from day 1. Miss her dearly, hope to see her again one day.  My dad is by far my (5)Encourager.  I believe I may have just come across 2 wonderful ladies who are (6)charging me to walk worthy.  Traci and Julie, I wish you both had come along sooner, but God's plan is definitely the best plan to follow.

I love how Michele Cohen nailed the point of becoming broken to truly walk with God.  *God allows us to be broken in order to restore us to health, to arise. She spoke on Genesis 32:31 where God dislocated Jacob's thigh so he would walk differently.  We should ALL walk differntly when we are in Jesus. 

I also loved when she pointed out that in Ephesians 6, God never tells us to take off the aromor of God.  It also does not protect our back side efficiently; bu t we should be charging forward in battle, not running away.

Holly Wagner insightfully reminded us that if we are not in a battle, if our life has no battle to wage and it is an easy, comfy life= then we are AWOL from Gods army.  Not an army I want to desert, how about you?

As for Andy Andrews:  If you EVER get the opportunity to hear him speak...DO IT.  He is profoundly enlightening, a great speaker, funny and yet gets to the heart of the scripture and following Jesus. 

I love how far I have come spiritually in these last 2 years.  To think it has taken this long (being reborn October 2007) to finally have this wisdom is saddening to me now.  I wish I had been this far into it in my 20's, but life and circumstances would be so different, and God planned for all of my life to happen...it's all in His will, His timing. 

I leave you with this:

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3

 

Yikes..

I've got so much I want to say!! I dove into a bit of scripture study, life is busy and today is day 1 of Pink Impact.  I am really looking forward to what I will hear these next few days, especially from Beth Moore tonight.  Keeping my expectations in check; I've been so engrossed in the word, I'm craving some really deep insight.  I promise to update after this weekend since Ian also has PROM SATURDAY!!!!  Loving life and all it's business.

Listening and Doing

Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. (James 1:23 NIV)
How many of you attend church services regularly?  How many of you are involved in a life group/home group?  How many of you walk each day with the mindset of "who can I help today, who will cross my path?"  James is telling us that regardless of our faith, regardless that we have been given salvation in Jesus Christ by grace, we must be LIVING the Gospel in order to complete our faith.  It is not merely enough to listen or even to read the scripture if we are not going to live the scripture.  We must be looking at our neighbors (anyone we come in contact with) to help fill any need they may have, whether tangible or spiritual.  We must be speaking the truth and spreading the Gospel.  How is it we can speak of all the needs of this world only to turn to our favorite TV show and forget about those who will go hungry tonight?
This passage convicted me.  It made me look in the mirror and make the concious decision to DO for others, follow Jesus and help the poor.  My neighbor mentioned restarting a food pantry at our church, I am excited!  I told her I WANT to help, it's a topic that weighs heavy on my heart.  I had written the church about it before, but no response...until now.  I am excited to see how our vastly superficial community will reach out to those in need.  Those that, surprisingly, our in our very own backyard.
Let's all do as James instructed us...which is exactly as Christ commanded in Matt 22:39 "...Love your neighbor as yourself"

Psst...if you can hear me God....

I went for my 3rd follow up appointment with my mid-wife today. First...after rushing there from the pediatrician's office, I had to WALK up 3 flights of stairs due to a fire drill. Really? I work for a 738 bed facility and I've never been told to stay off the elevators in a drill. Did I say I had to carry Ashlynn up them?  Lucky for them, I take the stairs at work all the time :)
As I digress...anyways, I have to go every 1-2  weeks to have my beta hcg level drawn. For those men out there, it's the hormone that causes women to go insane and emotional when growing a baby.  It was 82 last time, so this should be my last check.  Well, unless God wants to grant me a wish and have that level super high this time! So my good prayer warrior friends, be praying for God to bless with another chance...always in His will and timing.

AND! For those looking to grow, strengthen, improve or just bless their marriage: check out Beautiful Womanhood.  There is a 21 day fast coming up!

Fan or Follower

Define The Relationship
As written by Kyle Idleman "This is the official talk that takes place at some point in a romantic relationship to determine the level of commitment.  You want to see where things stand and find out if what you have is real."

I read through not a fan by Kyle in about 7 hours.  I spent the last 3 chapters tearfully sobbing as I was over and over convicted on so many levels.  He reaches the innermost part of your soul in making you look into the mirror of your Christianity.  He took me deeper in Matthew 7:21-23 NIV

Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord' will enter the kingdom of heaven,

but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.

Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name,

and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will

tell them plainly, 'I never knew you.  Away from me, you evildoers!'

All of a sudden  I was brought to the realization that this included Christians!!  Notice Jesus said "MANY will say" .Those of us who have accepted Jesus Christ as our savior, have been baptized, attend church every Sunday, tithe, study scripture, etc...  But if we are not doing "the will of my Father who is in heaven"  then are we really  living FOR Jesus? Are we really a follower?

Now return to the opening quote.  Is not our relationship with Christ a romantic one? By far the most romantic of all times!!  We should be passionately pursuing him daily, hourly.  We should be willing to walk away from everything and everyone  to follow him.  Consider all the men that Christ asked to follow him and they wanted to do something else before they did (Matt 8:18-22).  He turned them away.  The disciples that were under Jesus were men who left "at once" (matt 4:20), "immediately" (matt 4:22)  This, my friends, is how we should follow him.

Many church's today are more concerned with filling pews and increasing tithes than they are about changing lives and reaching the needy.  They speak of welcoming the sinners for whom Christ came for (matt 9:13b), but fail to tell you how difficult, selfless, tiresome and painful it can be to carry that cross everyday.  So folks go home after an uplifting service to their big fancy homes or meet others of thier kind for a lavious lunch not truly understanding what it means to sacrifice.  We all do this.  I'm not above it either.

I can't thank Kyle enough for writing this book.  For speaking out on a topic of Christianity that has been brushed under the rug for so long.  I can't imagine a true Christian reading this, being challenged by it and then putting it down and moving on with life status quo.  It stirs a fire within you to be better, to carry your cross daily, to live out a life doing what Christ did for us.  God sacrificed his only son so that we can share in the heavenly riches and be one in his family. Imagine if each family chose to live in a home of modest existence,one that med their needs not their greeds, and matched their titheing to their mortgage.  Imagine how many lives could be changed. 

Matt 10:38-39 speaks to how we should start each day and end each night: ...and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.  Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

So I challenge you to carry your cross daily, repent daily and then give your yoke to Jesus daily. When he stirs within you the desire to go out and do something, DO IT! Remember, God prepares us and then calls us.  Eph 2:10 "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." 

Daily Reminders

"Sometimes the greatest miracle of all is the one that happens in your own heart, the change that takes place in you and then suprises you as it filters into the seams and fabric of your whole life.  The effects of a changed person on her surroundings can be staggering."~The Resolution for Women cards
I received these cards as a gift from my dear friend Traci.  She is a wonderful spiritual mentor and has the caring spirit we should all strive for.  Each morning I shuffle my cards thoroughly, close my eyes and pick one from the middle of the pack to be my primary focus each day.  This one I have pulled out for 4 days in a row!  I read it each time, taking in what the Lord is telling me and asking of me.  He is reminding me of how far I have come in these last 2 years, to look closely at those close to me and realize that despite any turmoil and without question, I am making a difference.  Not only to others but within myself as well. I am proud of who I am today. I pray that with the Holy Spirit I will continue to grow, sewing seeds of faith to everyone I come in contact with.  Let my actions continue to speak for me, strengthen me as I lead my family.

Faith and Reassurance

It amazed me just how many of my girlfriends have suffered through the same loss as we did.  It amazed me even more how they seem to step out of the shadows to express their love and support.  It’s been 7 days now since the start of our miscarriage, 5 days since the loss.  I am so grateful for my faith in Jesus Christ.  By holding firm to that faith, relying on prayer and scripture and the sound truth that God has a purpose, I feel completely at peace with our loss.   

Josh has been my rock.  He totally stepped up and took over everything from the start.  As any man, he wasn’t sure what to do for me.  Just in how he loved and cared for me was more than I could ask for.  His appreciation for the physical and emotional toll this took was beyond anything he has shown before and I am so grateful for him.  Just like with each child, there has been a small compassionate change in him with this.  I couldn’t imagine living this life with anyone else.  Thank you honey, for everything.  

I lost my step-dad at 24, he was 51 and passed  June 1999, 6 months before my graduation from nursing school.  He had given his life to Christ before he died. In late 2000, I had a dream in which I firmly believe his spirit visited me.  His last words to me in my dream were, “Jenny, I feel better now than I ever have in my life”.  That gave me peace that he was in heaven and healed.  Well, I had a dream Thursday night (the day I miscarried) and at first I thought it was about my Uncle (his brother) but I that morning I started to realize it was Jim’s spirit.  He and I were sitting on a leather sectional couch in a sunken living room.  It happened quite quickly but one moment I was on the opposite end, then he said move closer and I was laying next to him while he was in the recliner part.  All of a sudden, I was being held and cradled by him.  I never saw his face, but I felt his presence and knew it was him.  It left me reassured that he was holding and loving our lost baby.  

I truly appreciate all the kind words and condolences from those who supported our pregnancy.  I’m not sure what we will do going forward, but I think we will leave whatever happens to fate.  God has a plan and a purpose; I look forward to living that out.  I love my family and I feel overwhelmingly blessed to have 4 beautiful children and a strong marriage.  I will cherish them all each day.  

Happiness keeps you sweet.

Trials keep you strong. 

Sorrows keep you human. 

Failures keep you humble. 

And God keeps you going.

Her Children arise and call her blessed; her husband also and he praises her

Proverbs 21:38

In Him,Forever Blessed~

Jenny

Heart broken

We lost our baby today. 10 wks 6 days, due date was 9/14/12. I have a million emotions, trying to focus them on the love of my heavenly father.

First injury

Bunk beds. I know it conjures up horror for some parents, feelings that coincide with trampolines, horses and tree climbing. One of the many "not safe for kids" items, but in a larger family: almost a necessity.  Abby and Keara have bunk beds, full-over-full with a twin trundle; not a usual find and a very sturdy set. We are very pleased with our purchase. At 7 & 6, they are the perfect age.
Routine use of them includes putting up the ladder during the day as the top bunk is not for play. We also put the ladder away if Ashlynn sleeps on the bottom bunk with Keara so that, again, no chance of climbing.
Well, for some unknown reason I still can't figure out, I didn't move it last night. 10 minutes after lights out, i hear a scream to find Ashlynn fell from the top. My heart jumped at the sight!!  She was covered in blood, mainly her nose I realized quite quickly. Noses bleed profusely. I quickly assessed her, moving everything, crying and attempting to get up. I hurridly worked to clean her up, stop the bleeding and assess for any acute head trauma issues. Pupils equal, no large bumps, head not boggy, teeth intact, no blood in diaper, collar bones feel normal. Only issue seemed to be a mallar prominence on her wrist, and the nosebleed. I think I had her wiped down and assessed in 3 minutes, just in time for daddy as he doesn't do well with that kind of injury. I was about to drive her to Children's Plano when Josh said she was vomiting, call 911. So I did. Probably vomited from all the blood she swallowed, but we weren't going to take any chances. I prayed over her the entire way.
Turns out kids are resilient and bounce well. She does have a Buckle fracture (not really a fracture, just a 'bubbling' of the radius head) to her wrist and will wear a splint for 2-4 wks to protect it from further injury. Best fracture to have, most common in kids. Her left eye is a little puffy and bruised from the nose trauma. That's it. So many blessings and gratitude it wasn't worse!!! I applaud the staff at Children's for their care, an awesome group of doctors and nurses. We were in and out in under 2 hours. The last time Ashlynn and I rode on a stretcher by ambulance together was on the way to deliver her. I hope and pray this was the last.

Seventh Heaven

Our sweet Abigail turned 7 at 8:40 pm (officially). Makes me want to cry bitter-sweet tears.  She is now beginning the journey into becoming a young girl, one who may 'like' a boy or want to wear lip gloss. I look at her and see a young, innocent spirit. One who loves, cares, empathizes, yearns and strives to please.  She is intellectually bright,  artistic, musically talented and so compassionate!! She is a 'little mommy' to her 2 younger sisters and is so excited for her future sibling.  I am passionately proud of her love of Christ. She truly enjoys reading scripture, memorizing verses and telling others about Jesus. I look forward to the day in the not-so-distant future when she commits her life to God.
Abby, we are so proud of you. I just really wish you could fulfill my one request...to stay my little girl.

Love you forever, unconditionally

Mommy

Times Are Changing...

We. Are. Blessed. I feel that at 37 my life, marriage, family and career are at their prime.  I am so content, so joyful in all that I am and all that we have.  I am finding that my walk with Christ is at a new level; I am delving into scripture on a whole new plane and I love it!  My devotional time is so much more meaningful, my prayer time is not a “time” but throughout my entire day.  My focus on all the positive and negative things in my life are with a Gods-eye view.  How awesome is my God!!

 

I’m still coming to grips that in 4 months my first born will be a High School Graduate.  I can see him walking into his kinder class, so excited to be in “big school”.  It’s been a journey, but Wow! What a journey it’s been.  He is amazing and we are so proud of Ian.

 

Josh and I made a decision over last summer that we would forgo the birth control and let nature (God in my eyes) take its course.  We didn’t really say anything to our family knowing it would not be taken very kindly.  We are fully aware of the worldly view of large families, of how our own family sees us as “sad”.  However, they feel this way based on a materialistic view of how life should be lived.  What they fail to realize is that despite the fact that we don’t own an expensive or large home, no boat, don’t travel frequently or eat out 7 days a week that we are blessed beyond measure.  We are almost completely debt free and both agree that “things” don’t make one happy.  We have a marriage that has strengthened over the last 7 years, the last 2 exponentially.  We agree on our priorities. We have 4 children that are, so far, quite loving, smart and socially well mannered and we work hard to raise them as a team.  Children are our legacy; when Josh and I are gone, our children will be our living example.  So over September and October, there was a nervous fear vs. excitement vs. disappointment but I’m not sure who was what!?  But a month ago, we had the sweet realization that we are being entrusted with another life, our 5th.  To be chosen again for this most important role is nothing short of humbling.  We welcome this new child with excitement and anticipation. 

 

You see, God provides.  He will never forsake any of his faithful followers.  Josh may not be a believer, but I like to think I’m committed to being obedient and faithful enough, witnessing enough, that with blind faith he will come to see the Truth one day.  I’m also realistic enough to know that it is between Josh and God, not me and Josh. I see such a gentle change in him with each baby that comes.  He is a wonderful husband; a supportive, caring, loving and increasingly devoted husband. We work hard on our marriage.  It’s a constant change in the checks and balances, one always pulling more weight than the other at any given time.  But we are a super-fantastic team!!  So for all of those out there that will frown upon our ever-growing family or pity our modest lifestyle…I will pray earnestly for you.  I will pray that the Lord will convict and humble you, that you will come to see and feel Christ’s unending and ever faithful love. Our Heavenly Father loves unconditionally. 

 

In Him,Forever Blessed~

Jenny

 

I'm Amazed

I took a step outside of my comfort zone today.  I’m not a social butterfly by any means, those who know me understand it’s just how I am.  I am a fun-loving girl, but I don’t venture out to make friends. So I stuck to my guns and went to the BSF introduction class today at Cottonwood Creek Baptist.  WOW!! It was beyond anything I could have expected!  First, I felt welcome and comfortable.  None of us “newbies” were made to feel uncomfortable or put on the spot.

It was such an emotional experience for me.  Not only did the lecture speak to me, for the first time ever I felt like I was truly meditating on the word.  I was reading and feeling the Scripture in a way that I have longed for.  I am able to review and relive the word throughout the week, applying it differently each day, with each prayer. It has me craving more, excited to journey into a new mission with Christ leading the way and following me at the same time.

I now just have to wait for the session leader to prayerfully put the new registrants into their groups and then the group leader will call me so it may be a few weeks.  In the meantime, I’ll pray for those considering my place within a group.

Side note…Josh is excited for me J

 

In Him,Forever Blessed~

Jenny

 

To Raise a Scholar

Homeschooling.  It’s a passion of mine. A desire of my heart.  It’s amazing how I have parented in 2 different decades, generations almost, and I find it such a privilege and responsibility to be my children’s primary Education Coach.  Teaching is not about instructing; at least it shouldn’t be.  It should be about fostering growth, knowledge and independence.  It should be about academia and not academics.  Children should be able to learn at a pace that suits them and should be able to expand and explore topics that interest them.  They should NOT be instructed towards standardized testing, be held back in their venture to learn as to “keep pace” with the class (which is geared towards the lower half of “normal”)

Abby’s 1^st grade teacher resigned before the holiday break. I had no idea what to expect, as her previous teacher had not made any effort to assist me with Abby.  Abigail is my 2^nd born, 1^st daughter and there is 11 yrs between she and her brother Ian.  She exhibits 1^st born tendencies and loves to learn.  She is at least 1 semester ahead of her class, already in the midst of second grade work.  I do a lot at home with her as she is quite bored with school and needs/loves to be challenged.

Enter Miss A J  Might I say, that never in a million years did I expect to receive the feedback that I did from her!!  I emailed her requesting her assistance with keeping Abby challenged and she responded with enthusiasm, a view of learning that paralleled ours, a passion for academia that is so refreshing along with a personal history in Gifted and Talented programs.  Score 1 for Abigail!!  She is currently “traveling” through Rome studying Roman Numerals and Latin, all wrapped up in History and Geography lessons. She had fun working on Tangrams this weekend, designing her own.  Mind you, she pulls out her worksheets all on her own free will and completes them no matter how long it takes her, because….she is ENJOYING it! She is being challenged.

Then why homeschool? You may ask.  Well, if I could guarantee that Miss A would be Abby’s teacher from now until graduation I might be okay with it.  But sadly, our public school system does not allow for teacher request. So next year we may end up with a mediocre teacher who has lost his/her passion for education and only want to teach to the test.  And this, my dear friends, is how the system fails our children.  It does not allow for a teacher to change pace for students, especially individually.  For they are held accountable to the No Child Left Behind  mentality.  Their own jobs depend on it.  I know too many teachers who are frustrated by it and those who have retired because of it.  I don’t blame them or their passion, I blame the system. And with our society hell bent on having everything materialistic (biggest and best) both parents are working to stay in debt so the child(ren) are left without parental involvement for 8-12 hrs a day. Think of prison, general population, and you get the picture. 

 

Behind God…Family, Family and then Family.  Please continue to pray, for I still do not have my husband’s blessing to move forward with homeschooling.  Well, he said I can if I can get Ashlynn speaking by her 2^nd birthday!! Stubborn little girl has until 3/29!

In Him,Forever Blessed~

Jenny

 

I Find You When I Fall Apart

I started working on the 22 day prayer study that my church is doing.  As I study Psalm 119, I found myself thinking of Josh.  See, he hasn’t been able to golf or give lessons since his accident due to the back injury.  I started wondering, is this God taking his idol away?  Is my Lord working on humbling him the same way he did Job?  Is He working on turning Josh’s heart towards him, to rely on him?  I won’t know.  But I will continue to pray, to uplift my husband, to heal is body.  For God is good and His love abounds.  

 

In Him,Forever Blessed~

Jenny