Faith and Reassurance

It amazed me just how many of my girlfriends have suffered through the same loss as we did.  It amazed me even more how they seem to step out of the shadows to express their love and support.  It’s been 7 days now since the start of our miscarriage, 5 days since the loss.  I am so grateful for my faith in Jesus Christ.  By holding firm to that faith, relying on prayer and scripture and the sound truth that God has a purpose, I feel completely at peace with our loss.   

Josh has been my rock.  He totally stepped up and took over everything from the start.  As any man, he wasn’t sure what to do for me.  Just in how he loved and cared for me was more than I could ask for.  His appreciation for the physical and emotional toll this took was beyond anything he has shown before and I am so grateful for him.  Just like with each child, there has been a small compassionate change in him with this.  I couldn’t imagine living this life with anyone else.  Thank you honey, for everything.  

I lost my step-dad at 24, he was 51 and passed  June 1999, 6 months before my graduation from nursing school.  He had given his life to Christ before he died. In late 2000, I had a dream in which I firmly believe his spirit visited me.  His last words to me in my dream were, “Jenny, I feel better now than I ever have in my life”.  That gave me peace that he was in heaven and healed.  Well, I had a dream Thursday night (the day I miscarried) and at first I thought it was about my Uncle (his brother) but I that morning I started to realize it was Jim’s spirit.  He and I were sitting on a leather sectional couch in a sunken living room.  It happened quite quickly but one moment I was on the opposite end, then he said move closer and I was laying next to him while he was in the recliner part.  All of a sudden, I was being held and cradled by him.  I never saw his face, but I felt his presence and knew it was him.  It left me reassured that he was holding and loving our lost baby.  

I truly appreciate all the kind words and condolences from those who supported our pregnancy.  I’m not sure what we will do going forward, but I think we will leave whatever happens to fate.  God has a plan and a purpose; I look forward to living that out.  I love my family and I feel overwhelmingly blessed to have 4 beautiful children and a strong marriage.  I will cherish them all each day.  

Happiness keeps you sweet.

Trials keep you strong. 

Sorrows keep you human. 

Failures keep you humble. 

And God keeps you going.

Her Children arise and call her blessed; her husband also and he praises her

Proverbs 21:38

In Him,Forever Blessed~

Jenny

Heart broken

We lost our baby today. 10 wks 6 days, due date was 9/14/12. I have a million emotions, trying to focus them on the love of my heavenly father.

First injury

Bunk beds. I know it conjures up horror for some parents, feelings that coincide with trampolines, horses and tree climbing. One of the many "not safe for kids" items, but in a larger family: almost a necessity.  Abby and Keara have bunk beds, full-over-full with a twin trundle; not a usual find and a very sturdy set. We are very pleased with our purchase. At 7 & 6, they are the perfect age.
Routine use of them includes putting up the ladder during the day as the top bunk is not for play. We also put the ladder away if Ashlynn sleeps on the bottom bunk with Keara so that, again, no chance of climbing.
Well, for some unknown reason I still can't figure out, I didn't move it last night. 10 minutes after lights out, i hear a scream to find Ashlynn fell from the top. My heart jumped at the sight!!  She was covered in blood, mainly her nose I realized quite quickly. Noses bleed profusely. I quickly assessed her, moving everything, crying and attempting to get up. I hurridly worked to clean her up, stop the bleeding and assess for any acute head trauma issues. Pupils equal, no large bumps, head not boggy, teeth intact, no blood in diaper, collar bones feel normal. Only issue seemed to be a mallar prominence on her wrist, and the nosebleed. I think I had her wiped down and assessed in 3 minutes, just in time for daddy as he doesn't do well with that kind of injury. I was about to drive her to Children's Plano when Josh said she was vomiting, call 911. So I did. Probably vomited from all the blood she swallowed, but we weren't going to take any chances. I prayed over her the entire way.
Turns out kids are resilient and bounce well. She does have a Buckle fracture (not really a fracture, just a 'bubbling' of the radius head) to her wrist and will wear a splint for 2-4 wks to protect it from further injury. Best fracture to have, most common in kids. Her left eye is a little puffy and bruised from the nose trauma. That's it. So many blessings and gratitude it wasn't worse!!! I applaud the staff at Children's for their care, an awesome group of doctors and nurses. We were in and out in under 2 hours. The last time Ashlynn and I rode on a stretcher by ambulance together was on the way to deliver her. I hope and pray this was the last.

Seventh Heaven

Our sweet Abigail turned 7 at 8:40 pm (officially). Makes me want to cry bitter-sweet tears.  She is now beginning the journey into becoming a young girl, one who may 'like' a boy or want to wear lip gloss. I look at her and see a young, innocent spirit. One who loves, cares, empathizes, yearns and strives to please.  She is intellectually bright,  artistic, musically talented and so compassionate!! She is a 'little mommy' to her 2 younger sisters and is so excited for her future sibling.  I am passionately proud of her love of Christ. She truly enjoys reading scripture, memorizing verses and telling others about Jesus. I look forward to the day in the not-so-distant future when she commits her life to God.
Abby, we are so proud of you. I just really wish you could fulfill my one request...to stay my little girl.

Love you forever, unconditionally

Mommy