Today is one of those days where I take a long, hard look around and realize just how blessed I am really am. Seriously, I have 4 healthy, happy, wonderful children! To date, not one of them has had a major life/death issue. Granted, Keara has had her fare share of chronic illnesses, but nothing she was going to actually die from. I think of the uneventful pregnancy’s I have had, the fact that even after Ashlynn (and not knowing the logistics of where she would sleep) our life is good. God works it all out, one way or another but always in His time and according to His plan. Tonight is one of those nights that I sit here wondering just how much more awesome our life and marriage could be if Josh, too, was a Christian. But then again, I can’t do that. For God put me right smack where He wanted me and I have left it up to him to work on my dear husband. There is absolutely nothing I can do to bring Josh around to my way of life. Only God can.
I am so utterly blessed. Would I welcome even more children? You betcha. (this is where I add on my disclaimer that there is a point where the plant shuts down) Would I change any part of my life…heck no. We have our crazy fun days, our stressful-wish-you-were-at-work days, and then ever popular “your son said WHAT!?” days. (Ian is biologically mine, but Josh is all dad to him. And that is my statement to him by the way) But all it takes is reading one womans blog about the loss of her 5 month old daughter, unexpectedly, to regain perspective into the true reason of family. Into why we love like we do and forgive everyone and everything. Because no one is promised tomorrow here on this earth.
Have you told your kids and spouse how you really feel? If there is no tomorrow, would you have any regrets?
In Him, Forever Blessed...
Jenny
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