Reflection

As we close on 2014, the year I turned 40, I find myself reflecting back on more than just this past year.  I’m actually looking forward to the next decade because there is a small voice inside of me that tells me God has something really big in store. 

2014 wasn’t a year full of milestones.  I did start back to school and did better than expected my first semester J  It was the first full year of accepting that there will be no more babies added to our immediate family as our youngest turned 1.  Our oldest turned 21.  He is growing and maturing and we are so very proud of the Christian man he is becoming.  Josh had a record year with private lessons, camps, and clinics in his quest for a PGA card.  He also made some health changes and has shed at least 25 lbs!  The 3 girls are growing.  Abby , at almost 10, has changed and matured the most.  She is a young girl with a passion for others and for Jesus.  Keara is still so innocent and naïve, still set on being a trick rider.  Ashlynn is having some “growing pains” with authority and abiding by the rules but we are working with her.  She has a determined and fierce spirit that will take her far in whatever she chooses to do. 

I left my role of 5 years that I loved with a passion because of a coworker that, despite my best effort and intention, could not build a relationship with.  She chose to continue to hound me and make complaints based on a perceived possible issue.  It was suggested that maybe I needed a position with more flexibility…by my manager.  This was said to me with no basis for the statement; I have a near perfect attendance record, never had to leave for family/kids early, and could work any day of the week.  I’m struggling with forgiveness.  I feel as though I was bullied out and it still hurts because I loved that job.  So as I work and pray through the process, I am being intentional with hearing where God is taking me. 

I found a new church home. Well, really my dear friend just prayed me there but it took 2 years!  I can’t be more content with the decision to drive 45 minutes to church every Sunday.  Praxis Arlington has the most humble, truthful, open group of redeemed sinners that I have ever been graced to be a part of.  They love fiercely.  I’ve joined in with the women’s blog (link here) on occasion and look forward to posting more as I feel led to share.   

I think what I have come to take away from 2014 is contentment.  Sometimes I get so caught up in the search that I fail to stop, breathe, and be still.  God speaks loudest when we are the quietest.   It has in turn allowed me to see the beauty in my family that surrounds me, the moments in chaos that are more precious that loading the dishwasher, that my kids don’t want clean…they want me; that a bigger house and home that looks like a model home is not what I want my legacy to be.  I want to go and live where God is going to use me in His plan the greatest.  I’ve learned that a neighborhood is not a street, that community is not a city; it’s the people you do everyday life with.  It’s those who truly care about you, who call or text or message you because they happen to think of you or missed you at church.  I’ve learned that I don’t have to pursue and chase friendship.  If I am meant to be a part of someone’s life, they will meet me where I am just as I will meet them.  I want intentional relationships. 

So here is to 2015 and all that God has in store for me.  Whether good, bad, ugly, or struggles I know that He will be with me.  I want to be sitting here on December 31, 2015 writing to tell you of how awesome life is when you let Jesus take the wheel.

Jenny