A Few Tidbits

My dad recently pointed out that I have not posted a blog update in quite some time...and boy is he always right! (brownie points, right??)  I guess you can say that life with 4 kids still at home is downright crazy busy, and I wouldn't change it for the world. 

Summertime means long playful days, trips to the waterpark, vacation, VBS, snacks more than meals, and nights hanging with friends.  Being married to a Golf Pro it also means "single parent summer", the part we all hate.  Josh has a waiting list for lessons and sessions.  There are tournaments, on average, 5 per week that he coordinates and leads.  Not to mention his regular shift hours in the pro shop.  This basically means he is gone about 12 hours a day, sometimes longer, and 5-6 days a week.  His only "days off" are for my shifts at the hospital...so at least the kids get him for that time!  The kids understand his work and all that he does, so there is no questioning of, "what is daddy doing?".  SO to rectify the fact he and I are total strangers during the warm weather months of Texas (April-Oct) I'm working on retaining a sitter for one night a week, even if we just go sit in a parking lot somewhere.  We are consistent about the kids all being in bed by 8 so we can catch up in the evening, but I think we need out of the house (further than the patio or front porch).  I'll update later on how this works out.

I'm still working on gaining the support to homeschool Keara next year.  She has voiced a desire to and I really want the opportunity to work with her, just need to get daddy on the same page.  I'm planning on not registering Ashlynn until 1st grade (Kinder is not required in Tx) since she is miss smarty pants and doing a bit more than the others did at 4.  This all leads me to re evaluating my own career path and where I feel most drawn to spiritually.  There is a lot of politics going on in my division.  I know, there are issues everywhere, but understand I've been in the same place for going on 13 yrs and it has never been this way.  I'm so disappointed in my director and decisions/changes that have been made.  Not to mention the ongoing interpersonal issues with one of my co workers.  I will only say she is agnostic and self centered.  I pray for her, pray for her healing, and pray for her to see that fulfilling her own needs/desires will lead to only momentary happiness and ruined relationships.  I'm currently researching different options that will not only benefit me professionally but personally for my family as well.  I'll keep you posted...

An Attempt to Rekindle...

I've been absent for a while.  Summertime in our house is chaotic to say the least. I admire the mom's out there who can run a household, IG phenomenal pictures, and blog routinely.  I just flat don't have the time.  I made a commitment to being present in my kids lives and that has taken precedence over all this other crud.  Don't let me fool you, I hover on my phone a little too much (I'll cover that conviction in a minute) and I really should delete my FB account. 

The kids just finished their first week of school.  Abigail is enjoying 3rd grade and Keara is not a fan of school at all.  When asked she will tell you, "I don't like writing, reading, math OR science.  Just recess, I like recess."  She has a passion for animals that I use to promote curriculum.  I really wish I could homeschool her.  I have our front room (what should be the formal dining) set up as a play and school room.  Once the kids turn 3 I start preschool, so this is Ashlynn's year and she is by far my challenging one.  She is quick and smart but doesn't want to let on unless it serves her a purpose.  I love her personality.  I originally wanted to homeschool them all but Josh wasn't a fan.  Public school does give them options, but I still feel as though the learning is without passion; too much routine, long days and a focus on state test guided standards. Ok, off my soap box.

 

 

My 3 attempts at finishing this blog are proving useless.  Every time I sit down, no matter the time of day, it's either a screaming baby or a blank mind. 

 

And on that note.....

My Soul Delights

Today was a huge day.  2 of my daughters were baptized.  There is no prouder a moment for a parent than seeing your children accept Jesus Christ and participate in the outward showing of their new walk in faith. Not to mention their papa performed the baptism at church!  Keara asked the most faithful man in our family to welcome them into their "new life", and he was so emotionally touched and proud to do it. Rick was not a Christian all of his life, went through a lot of trials and setbacks on his path to real freedom.  He loves Jesus like no one I know and has a passion to bring others to know and accept Christ; specifically strangers which I find so real about him.

Keara's baptism

                                                                                 

Abigail's baptism



I've kept a special secret to myself for many years.  It's been my birthday wish, my Christmas list (of one) and my prayerful request.  Every Sunday as I'm in service I keep a chair next to me available...on the off chance my husband might need to sit there.  Long shot, I know.  He's a recognized atheist.  He admits it, tells us there is no "God" and that he will be reincarnated one day. Well, the girls asked him to come to their baptism and he said yes.  And he did! I had my entire. family. in. church. Me, our 5 kids and my non believing husband.  Now don't get me wrong, he came because his daughters asked him to.  I won't even say he supports them, but they are his little girls and he didn't let them down.  I'm sure the entire 30 minutes he wished he was anywhere but there, I could tell by his body language and breathing/mumbling.  Heck, he made a b-line out there and I wouldn't of known had I not been waiting by the door for the girls to come out of the bathroom.

 

You see, I may have been praying and hoping for him to come to church with me one day but I never said it had to be as a believer.  My prayer was just to "get him in the door" so to speak.  For him to have a small glimpse of what we worship and what his children are passionate for each week. I sat back and thought to myself, "I wonder how much energy it takes to be that defensive, that angry, that resentful and that bitter to Christianity?  How hard does one have to work to deny what he sees in his children and his wife?"  Then my dear friend made a statement to me that validated everything I was thinking; she said, "The reality is if it didn't mean anything to him he would have just stayed.  Things that truly don't matter to us don't bother us."  Could she have been any more spot on? I rest assured that the Spirit is working in Josh, I have faith in this if for no other reason than he is having to fight what the rest of his family is living.  The Bible is true, God does win in the end. 

 

He may never come back to church, he may never accept Jesus Christ.  I'm okay with that; his salvation is between him and God.  But if I die tomorrow I will leave this earth having had my entire family in church with me. Once. And it was my 7 and 8 year old daughters baptism that made that happen :)

 

Welcome to your new lives girls.  I hope you bask in Love, Joy and unwavering Faith and that your prayers for your daddy come true.

 

"The LORD is good to those whose hope is him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD...For men are not cast off by the Lord forever.  Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love."

 

(Lamentations 3:25-26, 31-32)

To The Mac Daddy

It's been 9 1/2 years since we met, 8 1/2 since we joined as one and we've welcomed 4 beautiful, inspiring kids into our lives since then.
Today I just want to thank you. For fathering our 5 children in a way no one else can. for loving them, loving me while I grew them and playing such a huge role in not just their delivery but the first months of their lives. I am honored to watch you grow as a daddy with each one, as each year passes. 
Our kids are blessed to know such love from a father and in turn my love for you continues to grow beyond measure.

Happy Fathers Day Josh, we love you.

Family, Schmamily.

What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories.  ~George Eliot

The memories I have as a child are mixed.  On the one hand, I have upsetting ones.  Mostly of the times from my dad moving out to moving to Texas and the struggles that followed.  Then on the other hand, I have these awesome ones of family get-together's, summers at my dad's and time spent with my grandparents.  Surprisingly, the good outshine (I don't think they outweigh) the bad.  I love reminiscing about family picnic's at my Aunt Betty and Uncle Ray's farm, spending time with them and helping with the work.  Weeks spent with my grandparents or in Canada at my aunt & uncles with my 2 cousins. Better yet, camping with my parents (or my dad after the divorce), time at the lake (Ontario is awesome) and running all over the neighborhood playing with friends.  Can't forget how my crazy grandma Schultz would load us kids up for field trips (those times were awesome) and after dinner drives with my Templar g-parents for an ice cream :)

Nowadays, it seems no one has time for that.  Our culture and society have placed more emphasis on the me rather than the we.  Throw in the fact that families just don't stay geographically close anymore and you have part of the breakdown of the American family. 

I am trying.  I want to cultivate that kind of family bond in my children.  My desire and hope for them is that they will stay somewhat close in proximity to be a support to each other.  Even if it's a couple hours distance, it's enough to lean on each other in times of need.  I want them to know they can lean on each other, to be best friends. You see, my 5 kids are pretty much on their own.  Cousins? Eh.  Ian has 12 who he sometimes sees, but he's the oldest...not to mention the most put together, intelligent and has a grounded Christian foundation.  The other 4, neither side of their family cares to bond (those with kids close in age, at least) and I try to stay in contact, but it's usually one sided. There are no family get-togethers, no picnics, no real outreach for holiday bonding.  [And speaking of holidays...I will be requesting no gifts from now on {grandparents excluded...you have every right to spoil them}] 

I'm at a phase in my life where I really don't care if Josh took a job in Indiana for I don't really think we'd be missed and wouldn't see anyone any less than we do now.  My children make friends easily and I can work anywhere.  Don't be surprised if you don't hear from me.  If my usual holiday invite becomes obsolete or I disappear from the dreaded facebook.  My focus is my family, the 7 of us that I am forging a legacy for. This is why I always wanted 4-5 kids, because I was torn away from a fairly large family...at least larger than the 2 members I had when we moved here to Texas.  I want my kids to know what that bond of love and togetherness feels like.  So even if they don't have the group of cousins like I did, they will have each other and then their children will have each other, in hopes of rekindling a generational family.  Maybe not, but at least I am willing to make it a priority.