The memories I have as a child are mixed. On the one hand, I have upsetting ones. Mostly of the times from my dad moving out to moving to Texas and the struggles that followed. Then on the other hand, I have these awesome ones of family get-together's, summers at my dad's and time spent with my grandparents. Surprisingly, the good outshine (I don't think they outweigh) the bad. I love reminiscing about family picnic's at my Aunt Betty and Uncle Ray's farm, spending time with them and helping with the work. Weeks spent with my grandparents or in Canada at my aunt & uncles with my 2 cousins. Better yet, camping with my parents (or my dad after the divorce), time at the lake (Ontario is awesome) and running all over the neighborhood playing with friends. Can't forget how my
Nowadays, it seems no one has time for that. Our culture and society have placed more emphasis on the me rather than the we. Throw in the fact that families just don't stay geographically close anymore and you have part of the breakdown of the American family.
I am trying. I want to cultivate that kind of family bond in my children. My desire and hope for them is that they will stay somewhat close in proximity to be a support to each other. Even if it's a couple hours distance, it's enough to lean on each other in times of need. I want them to know they can lean on each other, to be best friends. You see, my 5 kids are pretty much on their own. Cousins? Eh. Ian has 12 who he sometimes sees, but he's the oldest...not to mention the most put together, intelligent and has a grounded Christian foundation. The other 4, neither side of their family cares to bond (those with kids close in age, at least) and I try to stay in contact, but it's usually one sided. There are no family get-togethers, no picnics, no real outreach for holiday bonding. [And speaking of holidays...I will be requesting no gifts from now on {grandparents excluded...you have every right to spoil them}]
I'm at a phase in my life where I really don't care if Josh took a job in Indiana for I don't really think we'd be missed and wouldn't see anyone any less than we do now. My children make friends easily and I can work anywhere. Don't be surprised if you don't hear from me. If my usual holiday invite becomes obsolete or I disappear from the dreaded facebook. My focus is my family, the 7 of us that I am forging a legacy for. This is why I always wanted 4-5 kids, because I was torn away from a fairly large family...at least larger than the 2 members I had when we moved here to Texas. I want my kids to know what that bond of love and togetherness feels like. So even if they don't have the group of cousins like I did, they will have each other and then their children will have each other, in hopes of rekindling a generational family. Maybe not, but at least I am willing to make it a priority.
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