Life, Unequally Yoked

Seventh Heaven

2012-02-08T22:01:00.001-06:00

Our sweet Abigail turned 7 at 8:40 pm (officially). Makes me want to cry bitter-sweet tears. She is now beginning the journey into becoming a young girl, one who may 'like' a boy or want to wear lip gloss. I look at her and see a young, innocent spirit. One who loves, cares, empathizes, yearns and strives to please. She is intellectually bright, artistic, musically talented and so compassionate!! She is a 'little mommy' to her 2 younger sisters and is so excited for her future sibling. I am passionately proud of her love of Christ. She truly enjoys reading scripture, memorizing verses and telling others about Jesus. I look forward to the day in the not-so-distant future when she commits her life to God.
Abby, we are so proud of you. I just really wish you could fulfill my one request...to stay my little girl.

Love you forever, unconditionally

Mommy

Times Are Changing...

2012-01-30T19:35:00.000-06:00

We. Are. Blessed. I feel that at 37 my life, marriage, family and career are at their prime. I am so content, so joyful in all that I am and all that we have. I am finding that my walk with Christ is at a new level; I am delving into scripture on a whole new plane and I love it! My devotional time is so much more meaningful, my prayer time is not a “time” but throughout my entire day. My focus on all the positive and negative things in my life are with a Gods-eye view. How awesome is my God!!

I’m still coming to grips that in 4 months my first born will be a High School Graduate. I can see him walking into his kinder class, so excited to be in “big school”. It’s been a journey, but Wow! What a journey it’s been. He is amazing and we are so proud of Ian.

Josh and I made a decision over last summer that we would forgo the birth control and let nature (God in my eyes) take its course. We didn’t really say anything to our family knowing it would not be taken very kindly. We are fully aware of the worldly view of large families, of how our own family sees us as “sad”. However, they feel this way based on a materialistic view of how life should be lived. What they fail to realize is that despite the fact that we don’t own an expensive or large home, no boat, don’t travel frequently or eat out 7 days a week that we are blessed beyond measure. We are almost completely debt free and both agree that “things” don’t make one happy. We have a marriage that has strengthened over the last 7 years, the last 2 exponentially. We agree on our priorities. We have 4 children that are, so far, quite loving, smart and socially well mannered and we work hard to raise them as a team. Children are our legacy; when Josh and I are gone, our children will be our living example. So over September and October, there was a nervous fear vs. excitement vs. disappointment but I’m not sure who was what!? But a month ago, we had the sweet realization that we are being entrusted with another life, our 5th. To be chosen again for this most important role is nothing short of humbling. We welcome this new child with excitement and anticipation.

You see, God provides. He will never forsake any of his faithful followers. Josh may not be a believer, but I like to think I’m committed to being obedient and faithful enough, witnessing enough, that with blind faith he will come to see the Truth one day. I’m also realistic enough to know that it is between Josh and God, not me and Josh. I see such a gentle change in him with each baby that comes. He is a wonderful husband; a supportive, caring, loving and increasingly devoted husband. We work hard on our marriage. It’s a constant change in the checks and balances, one always pulling more weight than the other at any given time. But we are a super-fantastic team!! So for all of those out there that will frown upon our ever-growing family or pity our modest lifestyle…I will pray earnestly for you. I will pray that the Lord will convict and humble you, that you will come to see and feel Christ’s unending and ever faithful love. Our Heavenly Father loves unconditionally.

In Him,Forever Blessed~

Jenny

I'm Amazed

2012-01-11T15:50:00.000-06:00

I took a step outside of my comfort zone today. I’m not a social butterfly by any means, those who know me understand it’s just how I am. I am a fun-loving girl, but I don’t venture out to make friends. So I stuck to my guns and went to the BSF introduction class today at Cottonwood Creek Baptist. WOW!! It was beyond anything I could have expected! First, I felt welcome and comfortable. None of us “newbies” were made to feel uncomfortable or put on the spot.

It was such an emotional experience for me. Not only did the lecture speak to me, for the first time ever I felt like I was truly meditating on the word. I was reading and feeling the Scripture in a way that I have longed for. I am able to review and relive the word throughout the week, applying it differently each day, with each prayer. It has me craving more, excited to journey into a new mission with Christ leading the way and following me at the same time.

I now just have to wait for the session leader to prayerfully put the new registrants into their groups and then the group leader will call me so it may be a few weeks. In the meantime, I’ll pray for those considering my place within a group.

Side note…Josh is excited for me J

In Him,Forever Blessed~

Jenny

To Raise a Scholar

2012-01-10T20:15:00.000-06:00

Homeschooling. It’s a passion of mine. A desire of my heart. It’s amazing how I have parented in 2 different decades, generations almost, and I find it such a privilege and responsibility to be my children’s primary Education Coach. Teaching is not about instructing; at least it shouldn’t be. It should be about fostering growth, knowledge and independence. It should be about academia and not academics. Children should be able to learn at a pace that suits them and should be able to expand and explore topics that interest them. They should NOT be instructed towards standardized testing, be held back in their venture to learn as to “keep pace” with the class (which is geared towards the lower half of “normal”)

Abby’s 1^st grade teacher resigned before the holiday break. I had no idea what to expect, as her previous teacher had not made any effort to assist me with Abby. Abigail is my 2^nd born, 1^st daughter and there is 11 yrs between she and her brother Ian. She exhibits 1^st born tendencies and loves to learn. She is at least 1 semester ahead of her class, already in the midst of second grade work. I do a lot at home with her as she is quite bored with school and needs/loves to be challenged.

Enter Miss A J Might I say, that never in a million years did I expect to receive the feedback that I did from her!! I emailed her requesting her assistance with keeping Abby challenged and she responded with enthusiasm, a view of learning that paralleled ours, a passion for academia that is so refreshing along with a personal history in Gifted and Talented programs. Score 1 for Abigail!! She is currently “traveling” through Rome studying Roman Numerals and Latin, all wrapped up in History and Geography lessons. She had fun working on Tangrams this weekend, designing her own. Mind you, she pulls out her worksheets all on her own free will and completes them no matter how long it takes her, because….she is ENJOYING it! She is being challenged.

Then why homeschool? You may ask. Well, if I could guarantee that Miss A would be Abby’s teacher from now until graduation I might be okay with it. But sadly, our public school system does not allow for teacher request. So next year we may end up with a mediocre teacher who has lost his/her passion for education and only want to teach to the test. And this, my dear friends, is how the system fails our children. It does not allow for a teacher to change pace for students, especially individually. For they are held accountable to the No Child Left Behind mentality. Their own jobs depend on it. I know too many teachers who are frustrated by it and those who have retired because of it. I don’t blame them or their passion, I blame the system. And with our society hell bent on having everything materialistic (biggest and best) both parents are working to stay in debt so the child(ren) are left without parental involvement for 8-12 hrs a day. Think of prison, general population, and you get the picture.

Behind God…Family, Family and then Family. Please continue to pray, for I still do not have my husband’s blessing to move forward with homeschooling. Well, he said I can if I can get Ashlynn speaking by her 2^nd birthday!! Stubborn little girl has until 3/29!

In Him,Forever Blessed~

Jenny

I Find You When I Fall Apart

2012-01-03T12:51:00.000-06:00

I started working on the 22 day prayer study that my church is doing. As I study Psalm 119, I found myself thinking of Josh. See, he hasn’t been able to golf or give lessons since his accident due to the back injury. I started wondering, is this God taking his idol away? Is my Lord working on humbling him the same way he did Job? Is He working on turning Josh’s heart towards him, to rely on him? I won’t know. But I will continue to pray, to uplift my husband, to heal is body. For God is good and His love abounds.

In Him,Forever Blessed~

Jenny

Let it go, let it go, let it go...

2011-12-21T21:17:00.001-06:00

Do you ever feel as though no matter how hard You work at it, pray about it or just scream it into a pillow there are some things you just can't hand over to God? I'm there. And the infamous pit of anxiety, aka Satans phernome, is eating away at me.
Please pray that i can let go, and let God.

Thanks friends.

Another save!

2011-12-17T09:25:00.001-06:00

I haven’t posted my shopping endeavors in a while, and last night I was so stinkin’ excited I almost did it at 0100 this morning!! I haven’t seem to have a real good shopping trip these last few months. Seems that all the sales have dwindled, coupons are a bit more scarce and selective (despite having 3-4 sets of weekly copies) but it could be the time of the year as well. I know some of you think I’m crazy for doing it, say you don’t have the time or patience but when you have a family of 6+ and you choose to have a parent home at all times, then you find ways to save money. Remember, I’m not an “Extreme Couponer”…just a mom looking to save about 50% of her weekly total in loyalty and coupon savings. I do my best to keep about a 3 month supply of non-perishables, cleaning and hygiene products; more like 6-12mo! I also have money left over to get the staples mild/bread/eggs and fresh produce. So here is how I did:

21 boxes of cereal (we go through a lot)

(4) Honey nut cheerios

(5) Cinnamon toast crunch

(3) Fruity pebbles

(3) Cocoa pebbles

(6) Honey Bunches of oats

2 Ritz Bits

2 Wheat Thins Chips

2 Wolfe Brand Chili (mmm…Frito pie!!)

3 2-liter store brand pop

4 Pasta Roni

3 Nestle Hot Cocoa

2 Green Giant Veggie Steamers

3 Jose Ole frozen snack

3 POM drinks ($0.99)

2 32 oz International Delight creamers

4.5# beef ($1.08/lb)

3# chicken thighs ($0.49/lb)

3 32 load Tide Detergent

1 Clorox bleach

2 Glad freezer bags

2 Glad storage bags

2 Thera-flu ($0.99 ea)

1 Triaminic children’s pain reliever ($0.99)

4 Crest Complete Whitening ($0.29)

2 Skintimate Shave gel

2 Axe gift sets ($0.99 ea)

2 Axe shower gel ($0.99 ea)

2 Orajel Spin brush (design my own)

The last 3 are stocking stuffers. I paid $0.99 for each Axe product (the boy lives in this stuff!) and the girls have begged me for the toothbrush which was on sale for $4.99 and I had a $2 coupon. Josh will laugh at the toothpaste (because we have enough for a year already) but at $0.29 who can say no!!!! I walked out of Tom Thumb with a skip and a grin having saved $105.01

Grand total for both stores:

$282.56

Paid:

$116.03

Total savings of 59%

In Him,Forever Blessed~

Jenny

Thanks?

2011-12-01T12:54:00.001-06:00

I know, I’ve done it again. Looonnnnggg dry spell in the world of blogging. But in my defense, I am an awful writer. My mind is always running 100-miles an hour and fingers can by no means keep up. Heck, I can’t keep up with it!

Thanksgiving was very laid back and quiet for us. I love having large family gatherings, dinners especially, but this year most everyone had to work Friday and cooking a large meal with no one to send leftovers home with was just not appealing to Josh and I. So we opted out for a large pot of stew (which when doubled, didn’t cook as fast as I wanted!!) hot yeast rolls and the infamous green bean casserole. It was yummy, our family of 6 was all present and the weather perfect to be outside in. Josh had taught Abby and Keara to ride bikes without training wheels!! Let me remind you that my birthday gift was a new camcorder so I was very excited to capture this on film. Sadly, I realized the reason it wouldn’t focus was because the battery was dead. Really?? I amaze myself sometimes.

Let’s move on to the infamous “Black Friday”. Two words I have come to dread. Not because of crowds or sales, but the sheer fact that society has taken the “Thanksgiving” part of the season away and turned it into who-has-the-best-sales-so-we-can-plan-our-trip-over-a-few-nibbles-of-turkey-and-dressing. HELLOOOOO people! Thanksgiving is rooted in remembrance and gratitude for our religious freedoms, personal freedoms and for all we as individuals are blessed to have. It is a disgrace that we as a society have allowed the media and Corporate America to turn that focus to the materialistic addiction and idolatry we as a country are engulfed in. Is it so hard to take 1 measly day and spend it with good friends, family, food and fellowship? To forget that there are retail stores, or any stores, and let everyone celebrate one day of THANKS?? Why not just rename it Black Friday Eve. What a pathetic lifestyle. So I urge you to join me in my Anti-shopping-on-any-REAL-Holiday-day. (And for the record, if school is out for a Mexican holiday, can they also be out for Veterans Day…a US Holiday??)

On to the more recent and pressing issue. My dear husband. 5 weeks ago he was hit from behind by a hit-and-run driver who pushed him into a barrier, onto a median where his transmission cracked open and then proceeded to drive off. Well, on Monday while driving our brand new 2011 Subaru Legacy, he was hit from behind while sitting at a red light. The driver (according to police) never braked based on no tread marks. 3 days later he is still in bad pain, but is under the care of our PCP who is extraordinary. That is all I will say about it, but I worry about golf…his livelihood. I pray for God’s healing. I know He will take care of us.

In Him,Forever Blessed~

Jenny

Just a Post

2011-10-31T11:30:00.001-05:00

What a week this has been. We had the family over last Sunday (23^rd) for a big lasagna dinner, which Josh made…Yummy!! It was nice to have everyone together, I miss family meals. They were fairly routine when I was growing up, but once we moved to Texas we didn’t have any family around. My in-laws were in town babysitting my neice and nephew, so that made it extra special J

Josh went to his best friends house later that night to watch the Ranger’s game, and while coming home, had an accident that resulted in a cracked transmission and the car was totaled out. *sigh*. Yes, he is alright, other than completely stressed about the situation (and I’m praying him through it). I’m still unsure about it all. It has a surreal feel to it since I’ve yet to see the car, and obviously never will. We are currently in the process of researching/looking for a new one. That is the part that turns our stomach as the cars are paid off and now we will have another car payment. Ugh. I am however, grateful that we will pretty much be in the same financial state since 2 more debts will be paid this month which carry a combined total monthly payment equal to what we hope to have as a car payment J So thank you for no additional increase in outflow.

I am very grateful and thankful to my awesome friend Jen who is carpooling both ways while we live with one vehicle. She rocks!!

I have realized as of late that I do not have a large following within my family when it comes to Christianity. My “step father” Rick is a strong rock of faith. I can always count on him for prayer and support. Everyone is pretty nonchalant or non believing. One can only pray that through action and example, each will come to accept Christ as their personal savior. My life is forever changed because of Christ, and I can’t begin to tell you how much better it is!! That is, unless you ask me J

Homeschooling has weighed heavy on my mind. Each morning when I have to get the girls up at 0630 and then do homework at 3 I wonder “why?”. I mean, is 7 hours in public school not enough time to accomplish what they need to? I could facilitate a better learning environment in half that time. Not instruct them in what the state is mandating, but foster their learning. Big difference. Huge.

You are more than choices that you’ve made

you are more than sum of your past mistakes

you are more than problems you create

you’ve been remade.

‘Cause this is not about what you’ve done, but whats been done for you.

This is not about where you’ve been, but where your brokenness brings you to.

This is not about what you build, but what He built to forgive you

And what He built to make you know

~You Are More (by Tenth Avenue North)

In Him,Forever Blessed~

Jenny

Shiny and New

2011-10-19T20:37:00.001-05:00

Almost 2 yrs to the day, I am finally with a new (to me)computer! Funny thing about it, I don’t seem to know what to do with it? I sit here contemplating “should I surf the net?” , “blog?”, or better yet “turn it off because I’ll end up realizing its 1 am without knowing what happened.” The last is probably the best option. But here I sit, eyes and neck burning as if I haven’t done this in forEVER.

I have the let’s-look-for-a-new-home itch again. I think Josh just goes along with me to so that I stay occupied J We live in a 3 bedroom, 1800 sq foot home. It’s modest, and I am so grateful that we are not “house-poor”, but if my dear husband does not want to wall off our front room or buy bunk beds or do something, then we need to seriously consider moving to a 4 bedroom. So I started looking. I’m carousing my neighborhood because I really do like it and want to stay close. We have the most awesome tax rates. But honestly, I’d go anywhere and I’m not picky about the prettiness. It wouldn’t have to be a fancy house is what I’m saying. New or pre-owned.

I think I’m nesting. What hasn’t been a burning desire is now becoming one. That little spark is becoming a flame and it’s taking all my strength to give it to God. Just put it in His hands, on His yoke Jenny. I fully entrust Him to do with me as he wills. I love the saying, “If He wills, then we will”. If only I had a spouse who felt that desire along with me. But I don’t, so I have to feel it for the both of us. I mirror a lot of things, letting my behaviours and grace-filled responses reflect back to him. To my dh that is. I can’t modify it to “…then I will” because that is putting my needs ahead of ours, and this is a covenant of marriage regardless of his belief.

Well..tomorrow comes early in this house. Plus, the Rangers are playing, have to watch some baseball!

Forever Blessed~

Jenny

2011-10-15T21:10:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I just come to the realization that I'm not a blogger. I think about a lot of things, have so many odd things, funny things happen but I'm awful at writing them down. Our should I say typing them up! Hmm. There's something to contemplate...write it DOWN or type it Up.

I failed to pre-think just what body mechanics we were involved in painting my door frames and base boards. Until I woke up this morning. Ugh! Talk about sore legs! Squat, stand, squat, stand, repeat...

Im tired. Ashlynn is sick which leads me to believe that tonight will be a long night. So I am going to get a head start on sleep. Oh, and watch some Texas Rangers win the series!!

A Gentle Reminder

2011-10-01T12:13:00.001-05:00

I am Perpetually with you, taking care of you. That is the most important fact of your existence. I am not limited by time or space; My Presence with you is a forever-promise. You need not fear the future, for I am already there. When you make that quantum leap into eternity, you will find Me awaiting you in heaven. Your future is in My hands; I release it to you day by day, moment by moment. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow. I want you to live this day abundantly, seeing all there is to see, doing all there is to do. Don't be distracted by future concerns. Leave them to Me! Each day of life is a glorious gift, but so few people know how to live within the confines of today. Much of their energy for abundant living spills over the time line into tomorrow's worries or past regrets. Their remaining energy is sufficient only for limping through the day, not for living it to the full. I am training you to keep your focus on My Presence in the present. This is how to receive abundant Life, which flows freely from My throne of grace.

Matt 6:34; John 10:10; james 4:13-15

This is from my Sarah Young devotional, Jesus Calling

Thoughts Over Dawn

2011-09-12T19:42:00.001-05:00

Washing dishes. I'm sure it drums up fond memories for we "late 30-something" folks. A time before electric dishwashers were present, much less a staple in every American home.
Marriages have been weighing heavy on my heart lately. As a woman in a spiritually unequally yoked covenant, it surprises me a bit. Not only am I witnessing the demise of marriages with friends, watching close friends fall away from the church and Christianity, seeing couples place a lot of "me" and no "you" in their lives and I'm seeing it from a whole new perspective. It is the accumulation of my own search into building a stronger Christian marriage within my own home. LOTS of reading.
I'm currently half-way through Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage. I am taking so much more away from this book than I ever imagined!! Not only that, but I believe the principles can be applied to any relationship. One conviction I have, is to earnestly pray if this is a way my LORD wants me to serve. Could I be a mentor to another woman in my place?

Oh, yea, the reason I stopped scrubbing to blog! Taking into account my above thoughts, along with my immense gratitude in being home with my kids and I had another "light bulb" moment. First, might the trend in job lay-offs be God's way of making people change priorities, but maybe it's an attempt to transition families back to a Biblical standard ; having a parent in the home at all times. That being said, my door to UTA closed because I took my focus off of what He wanted and began to place myself as center. By closing off the opportunity, I was awakened to my place in my home, my place in His plan and most importantly, His place in my heart/life.

Wake up, O sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.
Ephesians 5:14

JOY:
Jesus
Others
Yourself

PEACE:
Pray
Empathize
Act
Confess
Emmulate

A seed begins to grow

2011-09-03T12:04:00.001-05:00

Last Sunday I was informed by Abby's Sunday school teacher that she needed to bring her Bible each week. They are now learning to navigate their way through, learn the books and reference & read Scripture. Well, Abby doesn't have a complete Bible, just a new testament and her book of bible stories.
So Friday I had errands to run which included Half Price Books (for me and a book exchange) when lo and behold, not only a nice leather bound young girls NIV Bible, but 20% off! Score one for the faithful, love a good bargain. So, as my grandmother did in 1984, I bought Abby her very first Bible.
But it gets better! Later that afternoon I was checking my emails and noticed one from Christ Fellowship, children's minister David Klippert-Rowe. In it he proceeds to enlighten me to how Abby is voicing interest in who Christ is and how she can share him with her friends :D could a parent be more excited!! Ephesians 6:4 "...bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord"
She informed me this morning that during the night, if she wakes up or can't sleep, "I turn on my little light and read my Bible". Oh, my sweet and precious Abigail, I hope you always keep your little light shining; shining bright for the whole world to see!

Week 1 Survived!

2011-08-27T21:00:00.001-05:00

We made it through the first week of school. Thank.God! Talk about a beating. Keara, bless her heart, she is loving school but her body is not adjusting well to such an early rise along with 7 hours of school. I had her nap this afternoon because she was so touchy, emotional and cranky!! On the flip side, her teacher let us know how wonderful she is doing, that she is a leader and how the other girls look up to her :) Not what I expected!! Go Keara!
Abby is miss pleaser. She wants to be the best, her behavior is impeccable and she has to play mother hen to the 3 boys at her table. Her teacher recognizes this and compliments her on it :) She has a definite drive I hope she retains.

I must say, I still wish I could of had the chance to homeschool them. I miss having my house full of organized chaos, the sound of siblings laughing and learning together. Our table time each day, field trips when it suited us. No time constraints or consequences for not attending a set number of days. *sigh. Maybe one day, maybe.

I Got Ian!

2011-08-23T13:59:00.001-05:00

Ok, so today started out so much better! He even reminded me to get a photo (and some from his phone, too) This is such a scary year for me. Part of me is so excited for what God has in store for Ian, the other part is nervous for what potential disasters/choices he could make. He truly is growing into a fine young man, and we are so very grateful to God for his presence and guidance in Ian's life. My prayer is that Ian continues to keep his heart open to the word, continues to be a strong Christian example and reflect daily on how is actions/reactions affect other people. Our children live in such a desensitized and morally corrupt generation, it is our duty to empower them with a strong moral foundation but also equip them with the knowledge to make wise/educated decisions.
I love you Ian, and I am so very proud God allowed me the chance to be your mom.

The First and Last First

2011-08-23T13:42:00.002-05:00

Grrr. Figures! It's his "last first day" and the only time I failed to get a picture. It sure wasn't due to a lack of effort, oh no, it was all mood related. Talk about a stressful morning. And tense. Let's just say our wonderful son's egocentric entitled teen personality reared its ugly head. But after a day of thinking (and 2 weeks without his wheels) all is forgiven. At least by his dad.
The girls on the other hand, had a wonderful morning! I did come to see that Keara needs to be woken about 15 min before Abby so she can actually wake up. She's my slow to rise, and she isn't hungry very quick. So she'll eat last. Abby, well she can be ready and fed in 20 minutes. Gotta love a quick girl! They both did great today and look forward to returning tomorrow. Abby is in first and has Ms. Stregal, Keara is in kindergarten and has Ms. Strober.
May I present Abby & Keara!

shrug

2011-08-14T16:19:00.000-05:00

I sit in front of this computer with my fingers on the keys staring off into space. So many times I think "I need to blog about this" and then when the time comes....my mind is a blank slate.

Keara is back to her old self (praise the prayers!) and her left foot is about 98% healed. We are so glad to have her home and healthy. I can't thank my neighbors and my co-workers enough for being so supportive and willing to go the extra mile for me. I was reminded again of this in Church today, the topic being Relationships in Christ, having true relationships/friends, not just aquaintinces. My number of those may be small, but they are very deep. You all know who you are, and I love you beyond measure.

Today also marks the day of a faithful journey, albeit a very personal one. Josh is essentially spearheading this one, and I am so grateful to him. Those of you who know me or follow me, you understand how deeply touching this topic is to me. I even sent out weekly reminders to him about this day giving him ample time to "back out" or change his mind. So our feet have stepped off into the unknown and may our faith in His holy works and destiny light the way. I shall keep you posted as changes come about :)

Ian. Oh, Ian. God knows how much I love our son. He is one phenomenal kid, but as with all "kids" who are about to turn 18, he has made a choice that is permanent. Unless he chooses to pay big money to reverse it. He has joined the Tatoo club. I knew this day was coming, but truly hoped it would be after highschool. I equipped him with questions to ask himself in regards to the permanent nature of his inking, and it seems he did. He chose to have the latin phrase Cruce Salus inked across his upper front chest. Best location? Probably not, but nothing I can do to change that, right?? In latin, it means from the cross comes salvation. Sadly, Ian did not take Latin. Therefore he failed to have the A placed: A Cruce Salus. That is the formal phrase. Live and learn, son.

Well, not sure what to blog about right now. The girls are watching a Veggie Tales movie, Ashlynn is napping, Ian went to run an errand for me and I have about 5 loads of laundry waiting for me. Oh, and dinner needs to be prepped. Guess that's my cue to sign off.....

Sweet keara

2011-08-06T19:38:00.001-05:00

So here I sit, at Childrens Hospital New Orleans with my 5yr old daughter. She may be our tiny, petite one, but man does she have a strong spirit! This little girl has lived with a chronic skin disease since 2 months old and this is her second hospitalization for a severe staph and strep infection. I think the strep worries me more since it is the causative agent for necrotizing faciatis. No bueno. Praise God we have not faced that!
Friday. It was the last day of her and Abby's visit with grandma and grandpa Cavender. A movie day at that! Until Keara woke up with pus filled blisters all over her left foot, partially on her right foot and scattered on her hands. I freaked out! As any reasonable mom would, right??
I enlisted the prayers of all the people I know, bowed heads with my friend/neighbor Jenn, and booked a flight out first thing Saturday morning. It was a day full of emotions, a rollercoaster at best. But Josh and I have been through this before and have raised her through this from birth. We are strong, and despite emotions, we understand each others view points but respect each others needs and feelings. And he recognizes my faith.
Onward to Saturday. God was with me from the get go! We arrived at Love Field at 0645. My flight departs at 0730. The lines are OUTRAGEOUS!! I mean, close to 100 in the security check point, another 50-75 for baggage check!! I'm NOT making this flight!!! I start crying and I haven't even moved my feet. Have faith Jenny, have faith. Bless the couple in front of me who handed me an A-1 card which put me at the front, praises to the TSA officer who directed me to a checkpoint with less than 20 people and for God speed in making it to my gate with less than 5 min to spare. I checked my bag at 0710. With Him, I made it. Each of those people today were a blessing to me.

she is currently on IV Vancomycin every 6°. We should have the sensitivity results back tomorrow to know which antibiotics she will be given by mouth when we leave. In the meantime, I will be patient and take good care of her skin; advocating on her behalf.
I didn't get into the BSN program. That's okay, I have my family. And I get to fly off and take care of my baby girl.

trip, trip, Hooray!

2011-07-23T13:05:00.001-05:00

Oh, my Lord! Where ever do I start!? We have finally returned from what was the most wonderful, relaxing and bonding vacation J

I loaded my 3 girls into our van and headed to Rochester NY, leaving Josh and Ian home. I cannot begin to compliment my kids on how absolutely great they behaved!! I mean, 3 kids strapped into car seats for 14 hours 2 days in a row!! That’s a 6, 5 and 15 month old, not teenagers. It was truly memorable, for me and for them.

We spent our first day relaxing and catching up with Grampi and Mimi (my dad and step-mom). Cousins Sophie and Sydney came for dinner with Aunt Amy (my sister in law) and you would have thought these girls have grown up together. Not one bat of an eyelash, they were playing and running. Mind you, it’s been 3 years since we’ve been home, so they were all 1, 2 and 3 yrs at the last visit. But they are good about writing and drawing pictures to mail each other.

Friday, we all loaded up with Grampi, Mimi, Aunt Amy and the girls and headed to Hamlin Beach State Park for a day of swimming (Lake Ontario), sandcastle making and a picnic lunch. It was a beautiful day, the water temp about 68 degrees. Dinner was a huge fish fry and Abbott’s frozen custard for desert. We were all stuffed by the time we got home!

Saturday was family filled as my cousin Becca graduated HS from Aquinas Academy! Great Aunts, Uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews…you name it. It was such a true blessing to see everyone. My 90 yr old grandma looked fantastic.

Sunday was a Templar gathering J It would have been my Grandma’s birthday, so it was a bittersweet celebration. Yes, it’s been 10 years, but it’s still hard sometimes. My Great-Aunt Eve was there, so we all had an extra beer in her honor! Nothing better than fellowship with family J Then, I later had a great night out with Amy. A much needed girls night enjoying some of Upstate NY’s finest Microbrew selections! Might I suggest Rohrbach’s Scotch Ale?

Monday was a day for the girls…took them all to the Strong Museum of Play and WOW!! Talk about over-stimulating!! I needed an extra cup of coffee and some Tylenol to get through that place. So much for them to do, but far too much for this OCD/Near-anxiety-attack mom!!! Wish we had a place like that here in Texas.

Tuesday…ah Tuesday. We FINALLY had the chance to be home for my step-mom’s birthday!! It was her 70^th, I know she will kill me for giving it away, but I love her no matter how young she is!! A great big family dinner, complete with cake, pie and ice-cream. I sat back in my chair that night and realized again just how much my kids are missing out on. But I then realized that if I make family a priority in their lives, they will hopefully be that much more inclined to stay closer and raise their kids together. I want to re-start a new generation of family, one that leans on each other, supports each other and fellowships together…regularly. I do wish I had more time to share the Gospel with them all. I hope I made a small impact with my actions and conversation!

I’m not uploading pictures to this. I have a few posted on FB, but most are in an album. Something we can open, talk about, touch and feel.

If there is one thing I can recommend, take your kids on a road trip. Forget the DVD player and just talk, read and enjoy each other’s company. Not one of us is promised tomorrow. My goal was to give my kids another set of memories to revisit when they grow up, or when I’m gone. A reminder of how blessed each and every one of us is to have another human to call family. It’s when we don’t have those relationships that we realize just how lonely life is. When we lose the bond that only a spouse, parent or sibling can offer do we realize how empty our lives really are. It’s not the proximity, it’s the depth of love and lasting bond. Even I came to see just how isolated I am. How desperate I am to have the bonds that my closest family can offer. I have Christ. I have Salvation. I have my Redeemer who pours out his love, surrounds me with his presence and embraces me each time I bow my head or am on my knees. He loves me. And that is so much more than some people have.

Foerver Blessed,

Jenny

Once Upon a Time

2011-07-10T21:59:00.000-05:00

I was reminded tonight of the luxuries of life we have come to expect, dare I say, are entitled to. What started out as an "*sigh*...well, I guess I don't have any choice" to thinking how blessed I truly am, how wonderful my life is and how much I miss the simpler days.

Josh finally had time to call and the decision was made that we would have the small repair done on the van before I leave Tuesday morning. That means either arranging to drop it off first thing tomorrow morning or tonight utilizing their drop box. (I was very comfortable doing this, Christian-family owned company) So after trying to figure out how I was going to get the van there and get home, I made my choice. You see, Ian was home so I had another driver, but Ashlynn was asleep. My neighbor is out of town. I'm trying to figure out how to get home. Mind you, it's all of maybe 2 miles.
So...walk. Really, Jenny, just walk. How hard is that? What would your grandfather have to do? Or your grandma with her 5 kids? They would walk. Because that was the only choice. So I did :)

It was a nice walk, I might add. Not only was the weather cooling off a bit, but in my first 1/2 mile I saw a loose steer, a Shepard guard dog, the sweet horse on the corner, barbwire fencing, overgrown fields, straw along the gravel roadside, and little critters. I missed not seeing the big gardens, but unless it rains, then the gardens die. That's how it used to be done. You want water on your veggies? Pray for rain. There weren't "sprinkler systems" and fancy irrigations. You collected rain water. God was in control of what grew and what crops would benefit. You planted to allow for shading in the heat and built your houses according to direction. North and South so that you had minimal window exposure on the East and West, kept the house cooler. Not based on the best lot in the best neighborhood.
Oh, how I was being humbled and reminded of where my priorities should be.
Then...back to reality. I pass Fire Station (lucky) number 7 and it's back to manicured lawns, common areas with regurlarly scheduled watering by irrigation systems. *sigh*. Are we really that shallow? Is it that necessary to have a large waterfall as your neighborhood entrance? Aren't we on a water restriction? Funny thing is, I have neighbors that water religiously every other day (against restriction) and I haven't watered mine in a month, yet you can't tell. Our lawns look the same. It's Texas, people. Let the Bermuda die and reseed in September. Seriously. It's cheaper. And who really cares what your lawn looks like? You are never outside for your neighbors to acknowledge it!!
I'm grateful my grandparents (and their generation) were not as shallow, not as entitled and much more engaged with their neighbors and communities. Without the need of a political HOA board.

I am grateful for the many blessings my God pours down on me, each and every day.

Oh, my lord.

2011-07-09T19:38:00.000-05:00

I am the world's worst procrastinator! I officially have 1 day and a few hours to start getting things together for our trip. I have nothing packed. I did however, get the oil changed and tires rotated today!
Here's the scoop.
1. My phone is broke and I'm awaiting a replacement in the mail. PRAYING it gets here by Monday.
2. My mom is not going to be able to travel with us. That leaves me and 3 kids to make the journey. BOTH ways.
3. The van needs a replacement part. $180.00.

Why do I feel as though I'm not supposed to go? Eh. I can do this! Gratefully, the part/labor is only $180. Grateful I have a back-up phone if mine doesn't come, thanks to my awesome son who just got a new one Thursday and has not had his old service discontinued! And I've made the drive before and many trips to NOLA which is 10 hours for me.

I recall a phrase on a church sign in Lakeside, Tx (outside Azle). "Be grateful for stumbles, they prevent falls" How true. My God will protect us, and he will take us through it all.

Now, on to that packing......

Awaiting...

2011-06-29T20:02:00.001-05:00

Just a quick note: I am now only waiting to hear from UT Arlington's School of Nursing as to my acceptance into the RN-BSN program. Please, please! let me in!!!!! I need to get into a NP program before they make it a DNP!!!

2011-06-24T20:34:00.000-05:00

Phew *shrug shoulders*, I can breathe I sigh of relief. We spent 9 days wondering if Josh had bone metastases to his pelvis and lower rib cage. Now, understanding he is only 36, you must also understand his history and current health-risks. He has had GI issues all his life, is a pack a day smoker, moderate drinker (like most of society), family history of cancers and a bit overweight. So he legitimately has risk factors. But by the grace of God, his bone scan came back negative :) Whether or not this moves him to make a few lifestyle changes is up to him. I hope so, but a nagging wife accomplishes nothing. He is still suffering from some gallbladder vs "I don't know what" issues that he would like a "cure" for (without making lifestyle changes), so we just keep moving forward...
I took Keara for another horse lesson today and she had a BLAST! This time was Western Saddle, barrel racing style. I think we will definitely stick with Hannah for as long as we can (she will be a freshman in college this year). She is great with Keara and lets her progress at her own pace. Keara was ready to "run" with the horse, even corralled some steer during her lesson :)
Poor Ian. The "great" KIA is without AC and will cost roughly $1200 to repair. That's about $200 over the KBB value. So....NO. But does he complain about it, nope. He just puts the windows down and heads off to work. He is a phenomenal kid!!! I am so proud of him!!
Sometimes I think about friends from my past. I wonder how God is working in their life and how their families are. Some I can check up on by email, others I choose to keep wondering. No point in going back with certain people, just keep moving forward confident in my decisions. Christine, I think, doesn't keep in much contact due to the emotional turmoil of lost pregnancies and no children while I have 4. I can totally understand and we do talk on rare occasion. She knows I love her :)
I'm looking forward to church Sunday. I feel like I have been so overwhelmed with summer that I have lost contact with my lord and scripture. It's the quiet times I remember this, and there have been very few of those lately. I'm going to shut this down, soak in the tub, read some scripture and go to bed. Early for a change.

Just a Monday

2011-06-20T13:20:00.000-05:00

I can't get over how fast this summer is going by! There is less than 2 weeks until July!! Right now we are just counting down the days until we leave for Rochester. The kids are so excited and how fun it is going to be; a road trip with Nana. That puts 3 generations of girls together :) If only Grandma was still around, she would love it.
We didn't do much for father's day. We don't tend to really "celebrate" the Hallmark holidays. We try to put each other first in our everyday lives and purposfully acknowledge our appreciation for each other daily. Josh did pick Mooyah's for dinner Saturday, probably because the girls would be excited, and they did make him cards. Me, I like to give him a personal card/note because a store-bought card never says everything it should.
I'm taking Keara to a horseriding lesson Friday. Western riding this time. I don't think it will matter for her as long as she is on a horse. This young girl who is going to instruct her was recommended by a friend at work. She is very reasonably priced and they have all the supplies Keara would need, including helmets!! So even though it's a bit of a drive, it all works out better. And cheaper.
I am picking up my neice tomorrow after work, Katie is 10, and she is going to spend a couple nights with us. She is an only child and really enjoys the girls. She is so well behaved and mannered! I love having her around :) We will spend some time swimming, hanging out and maybe a movie? Just relax and enjoy the time.
I'd like this week to be over with. There are a few things going on, and once they are past I can breathe a little easier. I know, part of me wants to talk about it, but I really must wait. Sorry for the mystery. And NO, it has nothing to do with pregnancy.
Must go and clip coupons now!!

Stoked!!

2011-06-18T09:44:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I just tickle myself :) I got a little excited this week after my long, 3 hour grocery shopping trip. First, I saved 61% at Tom Thumb...yea me!! Let me tell you though; the gentleman checking me out was drooling at the thought of nailing me with the coupon policy. Shame on him! He actually went back, dug in the bags, to make sure I purchased said items. Really?? I found out that they "revisited" the policy about 2 months ago and made a few changes, one which screwed up my plans or I would have saved more.
Tom Thumb now does not accept a coupon for a "free" item. With a BOGO sale, you can only count the paid item as a coupon transaction. So what that meant for me was the 6 bottles of Classico Spaghetti sauce I purchased was only going to net me $1.32/bottle when I would have paid $0.99/bottle. Not a huge loss, but a loss none the less. So please be sure to frequently check your store policies. You can do that from the store website. On a funny side note, he did accept my coupons for Ken's Dressing and Tyson Ready Made Chicken; both were BOGO and I had a coupon for the "free" one (snicker, snicker)...
So here is how I did: For all 3 stores (Tom Thumb, Alberston's and Kroger) the grand total was $304.25. With reward savings and coupons I paid $149.96. Not bad!! I saved just over 50% which is always my goal. I got:
6 boxes of Frosted mini-wheat's (strawberry and chocolate..no blueberry left)
6 bottles of Classico Sauce (Alfredo, too)
2 bottles of Ken's dressing (THA best!)
3 packages of Huggies Diapers (only had 3 coupons!!)
3 containers of Huggies baby wipes @ $0.49 each!!!!
9 Pringles
4 Cheeze-its (no coupon, but $1.75 each)
2 Pepperidge farm frozen cakes ($1.49 each)
4 Dananino yogurt packs
6 bags of M&M's. (OK, not needed but at $1.24 for the big bag...come on!)
4 Mrs. Dash (some for my mom, coupon was going to expire and they were finally on sale)
10 packs of Kool-aid (not healthy, but .10 each)
4 12-packs of Sprite/Coke (only paid for 2)
2 bags of potato chips (FREE!!)
And of course my fresh fruit, dairy, bread, Ashlynn's pasta, Drano and meat that I need.
So all in all, a good trip.
Let's just say I told Josh I need more room to put "the end of the world supply". Closet is getting cramped.

AND I found a website to update you on the yearly insert send outs; www.sundaycouponpreview.com

sigh

2011-06-15T21:24:00.001-05:00

Sometimes life gets far to busy. Sometimes it seems to fly by, yet I feel as if I have been nothing short of lazy. I’m not a fan of lazy, I like to get things gone and then spend time relaxing. What I have tried really hard to do is just enjoy life.

The kids are out for summer, so I’m focusing on soaking in all the time I can with them. I’m purposefully planning on spending 2 hours, 3 days a week at the pool. We go from about 9:30-11:30 so that we aren’t out in the heat of the day. The kids are loving it!! Abby is swimming under water and jumping in (all the way under!), Keara is starting to swim under water and Ashlynn just loves to be in the pool! It’s a good workout and makes for a long nap for Ashlynn after lunch J

Ian is working at La Hacienda still and really enjoys it. He’s getting a few more shifts now that school is out, and spends the rest of his time with friends. I still can’t believe he’s going to be a senior this year, man…how time flies. Next thing I know it will be the girls. I could not be more proud of him. He makes such great choices, does well in school and has the best of leadership qualities. He will go far, that I know.

Plans are set for our road trip to NY next month. The girls can not wait to see Sophie and Sydney; their cousins. We will be spending 6 days with Dad and Pat, celebrate my cousins HS graduation and I’ll get a night or two with my awesome SIL and friends out on the town. My mom is riding along on the trip; I know she worries about me. I was going to drive it myself since Josh can’t go and Ian wants to stay and continue to work out for soccer. I’m determined one way or another, I’ve made the drive before and would love the challenge. Now I will have a driving buddy J I love Rochester in the summer! I plan on taking Abby and Keara to the beach one day and maybe to Sea breeze another. I’m craving a Schaeler’s burger and Abbott’s frozen custard!!!! Ooh, and a good Friday night fish fry. Yummy! Lot’s of good times with lot’s of family, that’s the best part. It’s been 3 years since we’ve been back (minus my whirlwind 3 day trip in November).

I’m awaiting my appeal process to UT Arlington’s Financial Aid department. I guess that my grades in 1995 when I transferred out are now an issue in my ability to qualify for the aid I have been approved for. We’ll see what happens. I’m not backing out the program just yet, I’ll wait and see. If I have to wait or look into another program, so be it. God will keep it all in perspective for me.

There’s a lot of things on my mind, some directly affecting my family, but I will postpone discussing them. Once there is more to talk about, I will. I pray, I pray some more. I turn all my issues and concerns over to Christ and let Him handle it. I’m so grateful for my God. So thankful to have salvation; thankful that I have been randsomed. My life is blessed. I do not yearn for more. I will always yearn to be better; to be as much in Christ as possible.

“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.” 1 Peter 3:15-16

In Him, Forever Blessed...

Jenny

Coupons, Coupons and More Coupons!

2011-06-03T13:05:00.002-05:00

Well, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that the TLC show Extreme Couponing didn’t get my blood flowing and it is the reason I got back into utilizing coupons for my grocery shopping. But I learned about coupons like most girls, from mom J

I’ve had a number of friends who have shown interest in how I “do it” so I figured this is the best place to lay out my game plan. If you’re looking to spend only $10 a week or save 90% then you’ll be disappointed. My goal each week is to save about 50-60% (more if I can) and have a small stockpile of frequently used items. Please know, there are items I buy that are not on sale, out of need; milk, eggs, bread, fresh fruit/veggies, meat ( I stock up on good sales) or if there is something that is just needed and I don’t have a coupon. I have a $250/wk budget but have been able to cut that to $175 or less and have a stock of items!

You’ll notice after about 6 weeks that sales cycle. It will also take you at least this long to notice you are beginning to stock up on items. The first 6 weeks are spent getting used to the process and you may feel like you are buying things you will never use. Trust me, if you have a family you will.

1. I start by buying 2-3 papers each Sunday. If you look at the upper left corner, it will tell you the amount of coupon value inside. $500 is my mark…Less than that I only buy 2, more than that I buy 3-4.

I spend about 2 hours clipping all the coupons and organizing them. If you separate each of the coupon packs and collate them, it is much easier to clip and organize. However you want to organize, find what system works best for you. I also look for expired ones as I’m organizing.

2. My ads come on Tuesday, so on Tuesday night I try to just “glance” over the ads. I know my coupons and a number of items will stand out to me that I know I have a coupon for.

3. On Wednesday I sit down with the Ads and my coupons. This is the time consuming part, up to 3 hours. I start with one Ad, and go through by department; grocery, perishable, frozen, home items, hygiene and repeat for each store ad. This way I have only a small group of coupons in front of me at one given time. This is the key to the whole savings process:

Each item I purchase must be on sale AND have a coupon!!

4. Once I have all the sale items/coupons paired up I make a specific list for each store. That way, I don’t get sidetracked. I write the sale price and coupon discount along with bringing the Ad with me. I’ve had items that are marked higher in the store than in the ad, but the store will correct it for the advertised place.

5. I do take my coupons with me, sometimes I find a good sale item that wasn’t advertised. I shop on Thursday or early Friday morning. I refuse to shop over the weekend, everyone else is. Monday and Tuesday are good if you choose to wait until after the Friday pay-day as the shelves are restocked.

6. Start with 1 store. I do Kroger, Tom Thumb and Albertson’s (they are all close) but it can be overwhelming at first. Also, be aware that Kroger’s e-coupons do not double and can NOT be combined with paper coupons (link your card online and you can use them)

Well, that’s about it! It seems like a lot, but once you get the routine down, then you start to appreciate the savings and look forward to “beating” last weeks goal! Rest assured, your SO may think you’re nuts. Josh can’t figure out why we have 15 boxes of cereal, but at $1 a box why not? Plus, with 4 kids (yea, Ashlynn eats cereal) we go through about 5 boxes a week.

In Him, Forever Blessed...

Jenny

Herbs de Provence

2011-04-19T14:29:00.001-05:00

Hmm. It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? Well, life gets a wee-bit busy, stressful and all too consuming. Next thing I know, a month has gone by! I’d like to say I have pictures of what we have been doing, but they are on my camera and this computer takes too long for me to upload them. So I will wait, and one day I will post just pictures J

Keara is registered for kindergarten!! Oh, my, what ever will I do?? (he, he) I still can’t get over the fact that she is 5 years old! I feel that because of her health issues it has been so much longer, yet not that long at all. She has come so far in her treatments. From the improvements in her severe eczema to being a full year of monthly immunotherapy for her allergies. Even though we are now adding a daily inhaler for asthma, she is already made improvements with that. God is GOOD!

And speaking of God, I’m amazed at how He works! I have a friend who I’ll call “Pammy” (wink, wink girlfriend). I met “Pammy” about 15 years ago, I think, when she was a young rebellious little whipper-snapper through my friend Rachael. Well, let me just say that I used to think it was a fairly immature friendship they had. Don’t get me wrong, I love Rachael, but at the time I didn’t think it was the leadership/mentoring that “Pammy” needed. Well, flash forward to today and I am amazed at what an intelligent, funny and mature woman she has grown into! She has overcome so many obstacles to find true love, raise 2 beautiful girls and reach her goals. So it was with a sad heart that I have been following the progress of their youngest princess who will have a marathon of a journey to live through with her recent diagnosis of Delayed Myelination. She essentially has speech and gross/fine motor delays related to a lack of insulation on the nerve paths in her brain due to her prematurity. Occasional seizure like activity because of the “frayed live wire”, but healthy and progressing otherwise. How awesome that God would put this loving sweet girl into a family who is not only intellectually capable of handling this, but financially and spiritually rich. “Pammy” has her Masters degree in these types of childhood developmental delays, they have a strong knit family with tight connections, and what a phenomenally strong marriage with a united front! I look forward to each chapter that God writes for them and looking back at how much this enriches their lives.

Well, I’m officially a “previously-owned” College Student! UTA is taking me back, just waiting for my official acceptance into the Academic Partnership RN-BSN program. I still can’t fathom why I’m doing this, but I know it’s time which means it is God speaking and doing. Praise Him! August 15^th will be my start date J

Here is a little something that has been on my mind lately: Why is it that we have a underfunded Foster Care System, children with missed meals in school, a high homeless rate, 3^rd world countries without clean water and basic sewer systems but we can run commercials to feed animals high-end cuts of meat, deliver there “daily” medications, have high-class spa centers for dogs/cats, and people spend thousands of dollars on medical care for ANIMALS??????? I mean, seriously people, get a God-centered grip!!!! You should all be ASHAMED at the fact that you are so frivolous with money, so un-empathetic as to put a damn animal before the needs of a child or another human being. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Coral kitty, but if it meant that I could save one life of a human by putting her to sleep….then night-night kitty.

“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:16-19)

In Him, Forever Blessed...

Jenny

Goal!

2011-04-07T15:24:00.000-05:00

This will be short but overflowing with excitement! I finally made it to my 5% goal following the Weight Watchers plan! I am so excited and have an extra boost of confidence. It’s like a runners high, you all of a sudden get this extra burst of energy and can go farther and faster J Speaking of which, I started the 6-week plan to running a 5k this week. It’s actually better than I expected! Now, I have only run 2 days, but I’m sticking with each daily plan which includes 3 rest days a week. I feel like I could go out and put in a run today, but I am forcing myself to follow the plan. My goal is to run the 2011 Annual Weight Watchers 5k on May 22^nd. That falls about 6 days after my training ends, so I will be able to run it twice before the big day J It will be my first 5k and then I will work my way to a 10k, entering a few more along the way. I miss running, the ability to de-stress.

Here’s to working on the next goal…10%!

In Him, Forever Blessed...

Jenny

The last of the First's

2011-03-30T08:58:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was a bitter sweet day. Our dearest Ashlynn Sterling turned 1! She is our youngest and most likely our last so we savored the family time enjoying her, knowing this would be the last 1^st birthday we celebrate.

Ashlynn came along at a time when we weren’t quite sure how we would manage another child. Finances were tight, putting it in the brightest of lights, and our home is only 3 bedrooms. Let’s just say there was a lot of stress between me and my dh, and had I not had the faith in my Lord and Saviour, probably would be a lot of resentment as well. But I looked up and told God that in all times and reason, He has a plan. Despite my hubby’s lack of confidence that “things will work out”, I persisted in prayer and faith. And He has never let me down!!

She has been nothing short of a blessing to our family J I look back and realize just how much stronger my marriage is, how much more involved daddy is with the kids and more present in our family life in general. His patience has grown and he loves her beyond any description. Our home life is not as crazy as you would think, but I owe that to my hubby’s persistence with routine. Financially, crazy enough, things are better! We are blessed in the fact that we do not use daycare/childcare. I work my 2 days a week and Josh is home those days. He’s a great dad and “house husband” on those days, I am so blessed! Don’t get me wrong, there is the occasional time when we utilize a home child care, and she is absolutely wonderful with the kids!! Dana, you are a God send!

Ashlynn has taught us that love and faith will overcome any obstacle. She has a loving personality, is LOUD, easy-going, and smart. She knows how to get everyone else to do it for her. Including walking. She could walk, if she thought no one would carry her instead! She has the stubbornness of a mule when it suits, but when nap/bedtime role around, there is nothing sweeter than seeing her curl up with her blankie, stick her thumb in her mouth and fall asleep. Ashlynn ,we love you and we are so blessed that God chose us to be your loving parents.

In Him, Forever Blessed...

Jenny

Time for a Quick Note!

2011-03-20T15:45:00.001-05:00

It’s back again. That nagging feeling that God is about to do something big and bold in our lives. Not sure what, need to keep praying so that when it is revealed I will have a good pair of glasses on and my miracle ear in.

I love spring! However, I do not like all the weeds that have made a home in my yard this year. I am patiently waiting for my dh to pick up the super-duper weed killer (knows a guy who knows a guy) so I can get to work on making the yard “playable”. Then I will feel more like planting some color and veggies J

Well, we are calling it a loss with the Kia. Now it is in my hubby’s hands in finding a cheap used car. And might I re-iterate CHEAP. We have finally paid off both of the vehicles so it pains me to know we will have another car loan. But Ian needs to drive, he starts work this week at La Hacienda and we can not commit to picking him up so late at night, especially with the little ones. He will, of course, get his dad’s car. Which might I add, is nicer than my van! Somehow, he is making out like a bandit this year. But with as good of a kid as he is, I’m okay with it.

I found a yummy easy (and only 4 WW Points plus!) snack:

Cream together (I used a food processor):

1 oz fat-free cream cheese

¼ cup part-skim ricotta

½ medium banana

Toast 2 cinnamon-raisin English muffins (I prefer Orowheat) and evenly spread mixture on each half. Top with remaining sliced banana and strawberry (or whatever fruit you want). Tada!! 4 open face yummy snackwiches.

It’s quite filling and hits that ever present sweet tooth. I would have taken a picture, but by the time I thought about it, they were about gone J

In Him, Forever Blessed...

Jenny

Melancholy

2011-03-16T20:59:00.000-05:00

Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be your glorious name….

Funny…I had this song stuck in my head and when I plugged my phone in to listen to Pandora, it’s the song that came on J I love the chorus “Every blessing you pour out I’ll turn back to praise, when the darkness closes in lord, still I will say BLESSED BE YOUR NAME!!! “ It truly encompasses every time we should look up in faith, open our heart and praise Him. The good, the bad and the ugly. In everything we do. Every single aspect of our life is connected to God. Let’s embrace every moment we are given.

I worry. I know I shouldn’t. It’s all in the hands of Christ. But if I didn’t, would it mean I didn’t love him? Josh. Oddly, I think his non-belief is teaching me to love in the moment. See, I have a tendency to look a bit to far into the future and try to figure out how I will react to different situations. To prepare myself. For death, disability, illness, you name it. Lately, though, I am realizing that no matter what, God will get me through it and I can not change what is to come nor can I protect myself. So rather than worry about Josh’s salvation, I am just loving him. I’m delighting in every moment I have with him (with the occasional marital mishap, of course!)

The Kia still isn’t fixed. UGH!!!! I called this morning (day 2 at the shop) and it’s “still up in the air, trying to figure out the problem”. Patience, Jenny and Ian, patience. Stupid check engine light.

Good news! Ian landed his first real job. Yea!! He was hired as a host at La Hacienda Ranch and he is very excited J I love the boy. He is such and awesome son, brother, friend and loyal to everyone he cares about. I still haven’t met McKenna. Maybe in time. I’m split on his decision to step down from Varsity football next year. Part of me really wants him to play. He’s a starter for pete sake!! But I know it’s his decision to make. Coach H says they have until August 1 to convince him otherwise. I pray for Ian to be following Gods intended path for him.

I’m waiting on my transcripts. The plan is to start the bridge program to my BSN in August. I figure if I wait until the start of the school year, I will only have the baby home during the day, and if I have to get a sitter it will be easier. Need the quite to work on those dang papers!!

Well…another busy day tomorrow. Can’t wait to see how God uses me J

In Him, Forever Blessed...

Jenny

Yikes!!

2011-03-09T20:39:00.001-06:00

I did it again. Did I not say a multitude of posts back that I was going to make a concerted effort to be diligent and consistent with my blogging?? Well, please forgive me. Read on as I am sure to have a lot to say J

First, let me say how happy I am at Christ Fellowship. I have been led to more knowledge and growth than I have had in the last 3 years of my own attempt at bible study. We are embarking on our second study this year, Movement to Multiply Our Heart which I am so excited to start! I found myself peeking through the study guide (which I purchased the day they became available) and wanting to reference scripture. I took a deep breath and CLOSED IT. There is a process. A week of daily study (Monday thru Friday), reviewed on Sunday through Sermon and then revisited and discussed in Life Group on Sunday afternoon. It’s a perfect setup to a threefold of learning. I can then go out and cover the 4^th part of the cross, my community. My LG is led by my friends and neighbors (of 4 years) the Stubbs. They are an awesome family!!

Work is great! I’m back to my part time hours and now I feel like I’m not there enough. What! You say. Yea, call me crazy, but I kind of miss my overtime hours. It was a great time for me. A great feeling of accomplishment and self worth. But, Josh is happy to have me home as are the kids. I’ve pretty much left it in his hands as to whether or not I pick up shifts on the extra week day that is free. His hours and lessons are getting busy so he needs that extra day to study, golf and schedule extra lessons. Keara responded with, “I don’t want you to work at all, mommy!”. Well, dear daughter, we do have to eat. At least Ian does.

We also had a long discussion of every aspect of my interest in a management position, and after much prayer and contemplation, decided together that this in not the right time. God has other plans. I have other desires that would not be able to come to fruition if I take on a full-time position. Now I just await the blessing from my dh that I can start on my BSN and then bridge to my MSN. Advanced Practice…here I come!

Ian’s 1999 Kia Sportage is nothing short of a headache this week. I finally get the title transferred, the registration done and the darn thing won’t pass inspection!!! The check engine light bulb had been removed and put in the glove box (pre our ownership) and now it won’t turn off. So we are now 1 replaced sensor into this and praying it will pass the next attempt. Which we can do in 50 miles. Yep. We have to waste gas to try to get it passed. Poor kid, he just wants to drive and I want him to drive!!!

Well, my neck is tense, I’m getting tired and the dryer buzzer is going off. I have my first weigh-in tomorrow for Weight Watchers which I am doing through work. Wish me luck. Just a mere 2 lbs of it at least!!

In Him, Forever Blessed...

Jenny

Loss, Life and Love

2011-02-26T08:49:00.001-06:00

So many things have been happening in my life lately. It has taken a lot of intense focus on some pretty intense prayer to hear the whisper of what my God is wanting of me. I’m not sure why, and it probably isn’t for me to know, but 2 wonderfully spirited men made there way to heaven a little “early” this week.

Vern was the Security Officer who manned the front entrance to Heritage Ranch Golf and Country Club. Now, that may sound like someone who was is the background, but Vern was a stand-out. He was a tall man, very friendly and always had nice words for everyone. He always ended his conversation with you, no matter how short, with “and you have a blessed day!”. The girls always made sure to talk with him as he made a point to recognize them in the way back of the mini-van. Vern, you left an impression and I am so grateful that you left this world with Christ in your heart. You are now reaping the rewards God our Father promises us! (He was only 54)

Then there is Dr. Ladi Haroona. What a phenomenal Pulmonologist/CC Intensivist with this awe-inspiring smile! He was a doctor who not only uplifted you in a professional sense, somehow he managed to know little details about your life and ask you about them when he saw you. Even if it was only about your children (and how he knew how many/ages is beyond me!). He touched the lives of his patients with his positive and uplifting attitude and was loved by the nursing and RT staff for his approachability and willingness to listen. Dr. Haroona, may your legacy live on. (He was only 48)

I know I have spoken of it before, but I have had this strong urge to get my hands dirty and work with my old home base of Cardiac ICU in empowering them to reach the goals and become all they want to be. It’s a strong emotion that has been stirring in me, and I wondered if some of it was guilt for the choice of recent manager they have been frustrated with. Whether current changes are God’s way of opening a door for me or His way of facilitating what my prayers have been, I hear ya and I’ve done a lot of soul searching. I have spoken with a few real mentors I have, more importantly with my husband, and we looked at every angle. We discussed the financial impact, the family impact, the professional impact, the impact on our relationship, the pro’s and con’s of each impact, and the educational goals for both he and I. And did I mention a lot of PRAYER?! I have come to a decision and I feel very confident that it is the best decision. I am at ease with my choice, and I know that is God’s way of letting me know it’s the right decision.

I’m looking forward to spring. I love the season of renewal, rebirth and new life. I love that my children celebrate their birthdays in or near the season. Keara and Ashlynn were born within a week of Easter!! How awesome to enter this world during the time that Christ was giving of himself for us! I love my family J

In Him, Forever Blessed...

Jenny

Family

2011-02-12T14:24:00.002-06:00

So for Abigail’s 6^th birthday dinner, we took all the family to Buca di Bepo. It’s this great Italian restaurant that serve’s family style. That means that you order either small (2-3) or large (4-6) which is perfect for our family of 6! The food is fantastic, the atmosphere welcoming and the service impeccable. Sadly, I could not get everyone into one picture, but here are the sisters J We had a great dinner of lemon chicken, broccoli and pasta Diablo…yummy!! Abby, though, chose to have a kids pizza, thin crust style.

Abby enjoying her ice cream brownie!!

It’s hard for me to believe she is already 6. Where does the time go? Ian is 17 which I thought gave me a new perspective on how quickly time passes, but I obviously haven’t quite got it figured out. She is growing into such a beautiful young lady, full of grace, compassion, empathy, intelligence and a love of life. She is even beginning to speak of Christ in a much more “grown-up” fashion! I long for the day when she accepts Christ as her Saviour, what a celebration that will be!! She has flourished in kindergarten this year, surpassing all expectations and benchmarks. She is in her 4^th year of ballet, loves her class time and the friends she has there as well. I’m sure these next 6 years will bring about there own change and growth. We are all so proud of Abby and look forward to seeing what this next year brings!! We love you sweet Abigail!!

In Him, Forever Blessed...

Jenny

Hodge Podge

2011-02-08T22:04:00.001-06:00

Today is one of those days where I take a long, hard look around and realize just how blessed I am really am. Seriously, I have 4 healthy, happy, wonderful children! To date, not one of them has had a major life/death issue. Granted, Keara has had her fare share of chronic illnesses, but nothing she was going to actually die from. I think of the uneventful pregnancy’s I have had, the fact that even after Ashlynn (and not knowing the logistics of where she would sleep) our life is good. God works it all out, one way or another but always in His time and according to His plan. Tonight is one of those nights that I sit here wondering just how much more awesome our life and marriage could be if Josh, too, was a Christian. But then again, I can’t do that. For God put me right smack where He wanted me and I have left it up to him to work on my dear husband. There is absolutely nothing I can do to bring Josh around to my way of life. Only God can.

I am so utterly blessed. Would I welcome even more children? You betcha. (this is where I add on my disclaimer that there is a point where the plant shuts down) Would I change any part of my life…heck no. We have our crazy fun days, our stressful-wish-you-were-at-work days, and then ever popular “your son said WHAT!?” days. (Ian is biologically mine, but Josh is all dad to him. And that is my statement to him by the way) But all it takes is reading one womans blog about the loss of her 5 month old daughter, unexpectedly, to regain perspective into the true reason of family. Into why we love like we do and forgive everyone and everything. Because no one is promised tomorrow here on this earth.

Have you told your kids and spouse how you really feel? If there is no tomorrow, would you have any regrets?

In Him, Forever Blessed...

Jenny

A Supernatural Sunday

2011-01-30T20:07:00.001-06:00

What a fantastic sermon today! I am so excited to have started our new study SUPERNATURAL which is a study of Romans 8. I think it should be supernatural ADOPTION since the very first thing I read told me that I am in His family, and that I am FREE!! How awesome it is that I will never be condemned? WOW! Now that I have a few different viewpoints into the meaning of condemnation I feel so differently about this chapter. I also have a new humility to how I treat other people. When I condemn someone, I am separating them from myself. When a judge condemns a convicted criminal, that person is separated from society. To know I will never be separated from my God is amazing! Now, I am aware this does not mean I can get away with doing wrong, or with abusing my “forgiveness” card. What it means is that God knows I am not perfect and I as a human will make mistakes and He will be standing there with His arms open wide ready to accept me. He will never separate Himself from me, or vice versa. I have come to understand that the more I make my life’s decisions based on His will, the easier (maybe not the right word) it is to live according to His law. To live in the Spirit. I have made a conscious decision to live my life as close to the Spirit as humanly possibly, and each day is less of a struggle to remember that. I find that it becomes “second nature” although it should be my First Nature.

My neighbors are awesome. They are such a spiritually focused family. It was so refreshing to attend a lifegroup where I learned. We were lead, we read, we interjected, we discussed and we prayed. I walked away with even more insight into the lesson as our sermon also reads along with it. Keep them in your prayers as they prayerfully consider a move to Uganda. They are asking the Lord to lead them and are ready to Go in whatever direction he leads them.

Pray for my brother. Pray for healing, strength, focus and for God’s love to abound in his life. Pray that he be uplifted, that he be healed. I will write more about it later, but for now just PRAY.

In Him, Forever Blessed...

Jenny

Arrived at Station 1

2011-01-24T10:04:00.002-06:00

Hip, hip, hooray!! We are on our way to a debt-free life! The van’s final payment has cleared the bank finally! The Saturn’s final payment will be either April or May. It is such a welcome feeling to know we own our vehicles and can now utilize the payment money to pay off other debt. I can not believe this is really taking place, the light at the end of the tunnel is upon us!!! And yes, we are sticking to our original budget despite the desire to spend a little here-and-there. I think it is harder for me because I want to go out and buy new furniture, decorate the house, yada-yada-yada. That would be why I have absolutely NO access to the credit card and I harbor no ill feelings about that J

There is a lot of commotion in the air right now, all around me. Nothing negatively impacting me personally, but I sense big changes in the near future. Maybe I am reading it all wrong? Another reminder that I need to focus on my quiet prayer time and be still to hear what the Lord is telling me or how He is directing me. Something is stirring inside me and I am really excited to know what that plan is!!

In Him, Forever Blessed...

Jenny

Thought of the Day

2011-01-21T10:21:00.001-06:00

Sorrow looks back,

Worry looks around,

But Faith looks up!

In Him, Forever Blessed...

Jenny

Perfect Love

2011-01-19T10:20:00.001-06:00

God is love. Love. LOVE! Today’s prayer truth: God is perfect in how He cares and responds to His creation.

Perfect=Love J

How blessed are we as a nation of Christians to have the written truth that God loves us, unconditionally and perfectly, no matter what! All He asks in return is that we, with a humble heart, give ourselves to Him by accepting Christ as our Saviour. We are reminded of this is one of our generations most quoted scriptures, recognizable by even non-Christians:

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” NIV John 3:16

As a parent, I can not begin to fathom the idea of giving my only son for any cause! It is heart and gut wrenching to even think of losing Ian. So to know and believe that my heavenly Father made the ultimate sacrifice of his only Child for the sake of our lives reinforces an abounding, unrelentless, complete and PERFECT love. Knowing this, understanding this and accepting this, how can anyone not live a life of Christ? How can we as a community turn our heads at the poor and neglected, the wounded and bruised, those whose spirits are broken by satan, and the people who have somehow “sinned against us”. He wants us to love. He wants us to forgive. To forgive is to Love (Latin is codono: to give away). To give is to Love. Be it by forgiveness of any transgression or giving of ourselves for the purpose of uplifting another. Either way, it represents our love, passion and commitment to live out what the Lord instructed.

We are quick to judge. I am as guilty as the next person, for I am not perfect. I find myself passing judgment on others many times a day. What I am making a habit of doing now is calling myself out, correcting my thoughts, asking for forgiveness and moving towards a life that will be void of such behaviour. This is a year of revival for me. I have made the commitment to living my life unselfish, unworldly and surrendering to Gods love. I want to know what it is like to hear God speak. To understand and know in an instant what it is He wants me to do. I plan to go when I hear those words.

“Since we have not been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! For if , when we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” NIV Romans 5:9-11

In Him, Forever Blessed...

Jenny

Photo Op!

2011-01-11T12:36:00.000-06:00

Keara won't be able to hold her much longer! Ashlynn is now 9 months, crawling, pulling up and standing on whatever she can! She also eats like a little piggy...don't let her near your plate!

Lazy Days

2011-01-11T09:59:00.001-06:00

So I worked all weekend, and it was a pleasant one I must say. Not really any crisis or critical situations, so I spent a majority of my time rounding through my areas and getting back to basics that I miss. Sometimes I think that my role is looked at as being “above” basic nursing 101 and it’s the part I don’t like if I had to find a negative. I love to do nursing care! I don’t care if it’s just to turn and wipe a butt…let me help J But this weekend was full of busy work for all the areas so I just went about answering call bells and doing anything I could to help out my fellow nursing friends. A little conversation with a lonely patient goes a long way for both the patient and myself. It’s how I try to spread some of the love Christ bestows on me. The time also reminded me how much I miss direct patient care, and that I am looking forward to getting back to my part-time hours so I can work a day or 2 in the units. I am so grateful to my Lord for allowing me the clarity at such a young age to know what my calling in life is!!

“May the God of hope fill you with all the joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

In Him, Forever Blessed...

Friday!

2011-01-07T16:23:00.002-06:00

I guess that means it’s the last day of my “weekend” since I will be working Saturday through Monday? Well, I got a few things accomplished and what I did not do will definitely be waiting for me on Tuesday J Ian has a varsity soccer game tonight in Argyle which I will not be attending for three reasons:

1. Argyle is 45 minutes from here

2. His game starts at 7:15 pm

3. I have to be up at 4:30 am

Sorry, son, but there are a million soccer games this season! He’s fine with it. He actually didn’t want me to drive all that way for a scrimmage. What an awesome kid…I mean “young man”. He amazes me sometimes with his compassion and good judgement. Then he gets selfish and needy and I am reminded that he is still a teenager. Ugh. I believe that is how God balances a mothers need to hold on to her children with the natural process that they will grow up and leave home, right?

Going to meet the hubby for dinner tonight with the girls. Can’t remember the last time we went out to dinner as a family, well at least 5 out of 6 of us! Ian is hard to schedule since he is always busy with friends or school or athletics or whatever. Uncle Julio’s, here we come!!

In Him, Forever Blessed...

New Year, New Beginnings

2011-01-05T14:37:00.001-06:00

I am so excited at the start of 2011!! I feel so strongly that this is going to be a remarkably positive year full of many spiritual blessings. I am looking forward to all the Lord has in store for me! Our Christmas was sweet. We did not go overboard with gifts, actually kept it very scarce. Not only did we choose to not go into any further debt, I am wanting my children to understand the Spirit of Christmas, not the commercial influence. I want us to be traditionally giving to those in need, focusing our thoughts and actions on serving. That is where my heart is this year, serving others. I have a family on my list right now that I am gathering needed items for. I am forever grateful to God for the many blessings He has bestowed on us this season! Josh made a 10 hour road trip to New Orleans with all the kids to visit with his parents for 6 days!! I missed them, but I am glad they all had a wonderful time and the kids loved seeing grandma and grandpa.

I am also at peace with the many decisions I have made these past few weeks. My life feels so much easier. Less stressful. Maybe that is why I am able to hear what the Spirit is telling me, because I am not weighed down with negative thoughts and feelings. I have let go of unhealthy relationships, begun new ones and re-established ones the Lord has guided me to. I am grateful to my neighbors, the Stubbs, for their hospitality, generosity and genuine love for my children J I am in eternal debt to my parents (all 6 of them) for all they do for us in their many talented ways. Our needs are met, our children loved and our relationships strong.

I love my husband. We don’t have the perfect marriage (who does?) but how awesome it is that I can count on him to run the house when I am having to work so many extra hours! How lucky I am to always feel confident that the house is in order, the kids fed and bathed and that I am appreciated. Josh, I love you and I am so grateful to God that He gave you to me to make this journey of life with!!

In Him, Forever Blessed...

Christmas 2010

2010-12-15T10:02:00.001-06:00

Scalloped Scarlet Ribbon Christmas

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View the entire collection of cards.

2010-12-15T09:03:00.001-06:00

My sweet Ashlynn now 8 1/2 months!

Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android

A Royal Mess

2010-12-11T20:40:00.001-06:00

I’ve been slowly, and I emphasize slowly, making my way through Beth Moore’s Esther. What an awakening for women! All of you who have had the pleasure of partaking in a study by her know all too well what insight both spiritually and scripturally she has into the life of a Christian woman. I don’t care where you are in your walk, she seems to ‘hit the nail on the head’ with whatever you are in the wallows of at that time. Praise God for her! After the week I have had (which let me say has been a week of realization) I decided to look back into Chapter 1. WOW. I should have seen that coming! As I read back through Vashti’s entrance into the story, I came to the realiziation that I really was living in a shadow. As much as I believed I was doing my part to help uplift her, in actuality I had cast myself into her shadow of malevolent behavior. All the negativity I absorbed in an attempt to reflect it back in a positive, God fearing light was just weighing me down as if I had cement shoes on. I have been struggling for the last 2 years in my own growth as a Christian and I now understand why I have been so stagnant. It’s amazing, amazing how I have spent such an immense amount of time in a relationship out of sheer loyalty. I have learned that it is not the longevity of the relationship, it is the quality. It is where your mutual understanding and foundation are that impacts the depth of your bond. Looking back, I ask myself, “What have I gained from this relationship? In what ways have I matured and grown as a woman and as a Christian? How has this positively impacted me whether at home, work or in how I relate to others?” Sadly, I can not answer that. Because there is no answer. It has not positively impacted me in any of those ways.

So her I am; wounded, hurt and embarrassed. Yet here I am alive, awake, reenergized and ready to take on whatever the Lord deems me suitable for! I am ready to grow in my Christianity, embark on new friendships and relationships that will serve me in the same mutual way I serve them. I owe a gratitude of thanks to the triad of mature, Christian women who have lead me, supported me and been my sounding board for many years. You, my ladies, are my real friends.

~You see, even your current location is part of the set-up for your kingdom destiny~

Beth Moore

In Him, Forever Blessed...

Just passing through...

2010-12-07T10:56:00.000-06:00

"Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other." (Galatians 5:25-26)

It is quite amazing how one can transform from acceptance to disgust. I don't quite understand how Christ would be approving of such judgmental actions? When one turns oneself over to the Lord, in both body and Spirit, then one is to be as Christ was; accepting, loving, kind, charitable, empathetic. It is a blindness to condemn another person for actions that have been consistent with ones own. When one begins to see others in a hostile manner, one must remember to reflect inward and remind ones self of who they once were...it's a long way down and the fall will hurt.
I choose to turn the other cheek, allowing to let one grow and blossom. For Christ also tells us "Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord frogave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (Colossians 3:12-14)

And as a reminder to my imperfect self... "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)

Blessings, Peace and Charity...

To Santa or Not to Santa

2010-12-01T20:43:00.000-06:00

So I'm finding myself contemplating doing away with Santa. I mean, in the "gonna find out whose naughty or nice"-sit on his lap-Santa is bringing gifts kind of way. How we expect our children to believe in such a falacy is beyond me. Look at all the commercials, TV shows, movies and mail! It says nothing but "Pick the biggest, neatest, most high tech toys and ask mom and dad before calling ". I like how my friend Julie does it, putting Christ first on the blessed day. Last night I was watching a repeat of The Duggars (I know, I know) and it was an episode I hadn't seen before. They were exchanging gifts, but it was done with a Giving and Receiving concept. "Santa" didn't deliver the gifts, the parents and siblings gave them. Selfless giving with the intention of pleasing a child or parent. Giving of a gift with no expectation to receive. Isn't this how we should all be teaching our children to live? To give of themselves when there is no "funding" to give, when we wonder where our own "things" will come from is when we should dig even deeper and give to someone even less fortunate than us. For Jesus gave and gave, never wanting/expecting/desiring any thing in return. He only asks us to pay it forward. To do for another the way He has done to us. "And above all things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness" (COL 3:14)

Bye-bye Mr. Clause.

Perfection at Slacking

2010-11-29T10:38:00.000-06:00

Oh, lord...here I go again! I made a promise to myself to be more consistent with my blogging and the best I can do is be consistent at not blogging. I keep putting it off telling mysefl "wait until I can load some pictures up". Well, we all know how good at that I am!

But someone today, who is quite special to me, cleared my view and reminded me of the peace that I have in my life :) I was so blessed to see an old but very dear friend, Melodi, as she was passing through the area visiting her family for the holidays. I also got to finally meet her dear hubby and 2 adorable little boys! I only wish we could have had an entire day to spend together, catching up and enjoying each other. The first time I met her was in 2000 and to this day she still has such an emulating spirit about her. I love the way I feel, spiritually, when I am in her presence. So how could I not get on an blog about seeing her!! I only wish I had a picture of us, but it was a quick and short visit :( You should see how crafty my friend is, check out her blog http://www.sparetyme.blogspot.com/ she puts us all to shame!

I had a wonderful time at my grandma's 90th birthday party on November 6 in NY!! She looks absolutely beautiful and so energetic. It was a fast visit, Friday to Sunday, but well worth the stress of getting there! I took Ashlynn with me, as she was the 8th great-grandchild and the only one she had not see at that point. She was so excited and pleased to finally see her. I enjoyed some much needed time with my Dad, step-mom and awesome step-siblings (gotta love my neices who are the girls ages!) Hopefully we can make the bi-annual family trip home this summer.

Josh and I celebrated 6 years of marriage on the 23rd!! It has been 6 years of many struggles but we have been able to stay focused on what is important and see the many blessings of life. One day, I know in my heart, both of our lives will be forever changed.

The holidays are such a wonderful time of year, yet as each year passes I find myself more disappointed in our society. What I have always loved as family time spent appreciating all that we have has turned into a mass media and society rush to spend money on so-called "great deals". I wonder, if God charged to get into heaven, just how much of a "black friday" would he have if he ran sales? Sadly, those who need Him most still would not have the resources to get in. Or would they? I always try to put forth more effort to the less fortunate (homeless) this time of year, but am starting to see that it is also the "wealthy" that need Christ just as much if not more. I see so many people spending money on "things" and for themselves. They all want the biggest, best, most technological items. How sad that they may go to bed each night without the knowldege of salvation, that there is a life so much better. Do they know what would happen to them if they died in their sleep?

I am eternely grateful for what God has blessed me with. Friends, family, health and home. I am not perfect. But He knows that, and it is my strive to be a better Christian that He sees and looks favorably upon. These next few months will be a struggle for my family as I work more than double my usual schedule, but the Lord has heard the words of my heart and is blessing my family. His strength and love will carry us through and be the rock that allows me to maintain some sanity and be a serene example amongst the chaos that will more than likey prevail at times.

She's got....PERSONALITY!

2010-11-01T20:09:00.000-05:00

Oh....don't let that sweet sleeping innocent face fool you. "Aww, she is so beautiful", "What a cute sweet baby"...wait until she opens her eyes and decides that to speak. HO-LY. COW!! This girl is showing her personality and it hovers between a loud yankee (me) and a stubborn scots-irish (dad). Let's just say she knows what she wants, when she wants it and how to make it know that she want's it now. She has me wrapped around her cute little finger and I admit it. How could I resist holding and loving her?? She's the final in a line of 4, the baby that will only be a baby for a short while and I will cherish this time as much as I want. Yea, I may be part of the problem but I do not forsee any permanent problems. Hopefully, she will outgrow this phase, but if not...then we will figure out what kind of parenting skills we will come up to deal with it. In the meantime, I'll suffer through the sleep-fighting where she arches her back and screams like she's in pain, the stiffening and screaming each time I put her in the high chair and every time I walk out of sight. It's only a matter of time before CPS shows up at my door inquiring about abuse or neglect. Or the Police come to issue me a noise citation for her decibal use. I pity my neighbors when the front door and windows are open :) But hey, I gotta have some cool autumn air in the house!

Winsor Meadows HOA Fall Festival 2010

The girls had a blast with halloween this year! To boot...they got the exact costumes they wanted!! Abby, a cat and Keara Tinkerbell. I'm not a fan of halloween as I don't see it as a holiday or celebratory day, but I gave in and we did the trick or treating. Normally we only partake in the Fall Festivals and everything to do with the Thanksgiving Holiday.

More importantly....I voted. Have you?

Date Night!

2010-10-27T14:41:00.000-05:00

Love must be fed and nurtured...first and foremost it demands time.~ David Mace

So yesterday, Josh calls me to remind me he is golfing with his "crew" after work. I can't remember the name of the course, just a new one designed by Justin Leonard. Anyways, he makes a comment of hanging out with the guys for a little while afterwards and having a beer. A little irritated since everyone has bad days or days that start off on the wrong foot. So I half-jokingly make the comment, "Then when you get home, I think I'll go have a drink." to which he replies, "Why don't you make dinner for the kids and I'll take you out to dinner." Really, I have 4 kids. 1 of who relies on me for meals, and by rely on me, I mean I personally store her milk. And then there is bath time, babysitting and clean-up. This is all running through my head in about a 5 second pause. But all that comes out is "It all depends on when Ian get's home." "No, it doesn't depend on anything. Ian can watch the girls for 30 minutes until bedtime and will pick you up and take you to dinner". WOW! I kind of like being told what to do :)

Fast forward to Ian getting home. I have dinner prepared, let him get a big plate and then ask him if he minds if his dad takes me on a date? If he would watch the girls for a little while? "Sure, mom". AWESOME. Totally awesome kid! It's bad enough that I will find every excuse in the book to not do anything for myself, so having Josh "lay down the law" and Ian be so willing made for a nice evening.

So Josh picks me up at 7:30 (bedtime is 8pm, Ashlynn is already asleep) and we head out to dinner, then to pick up our movie tickets (Red) and spend the time in between competing at vidoe games and such at Dave & Buster's. Simple, yet we connected better last night than we have in a long time. Conversation was great, no spat's and he even surprised me with sneaking in a little desert to the movie...Cheesecake Factory cheesecake. YUMMY!! We got home a bit late, bedtime at 0100 for me is never a good thing, but I would do it all over again :)

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him. (Romans 8:28)

BrocoLLI!

2010-10-21T20:08:00.002-05:00

For those of you unwilling (or if the mere thought induces a gag reflex) to try some brocolli, have I got the recipe for you! Now I myself am not an avid green-crown-gas-inducing vegetable eater, but I gotta tell you, this one takes the cake. Not only is it good but I could have eaten the entire pound of it all by myself!

PARMESEAN BROCOLLI

1 16 oz bag frozen brocolli crowns (I'm not a fan of the stems)
1/2 stick butter (I don't do that Dehydrogenated soy"What did you say?" stuff)
1/2 cup bread crumbs
1/2 cup parmesean cheese
1/2 tsp garlic powder

Cook the brocolli as directed. Mix the bread crumbs, cheese and garlic. Melt the butter, pour onto the brocolli. Sprinkle the crumb mix on, stir and rewarm just a bit.

YUUMMMM FREAKIN YUMMY!! I should of doubled the recipe :)

Welcome back!

2010-10-19T17:59:00.002-05:00

Never thought my days would be so chock full of "fun and excitement" that I would lose the time to journal my life's journey. I find myself either doing laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, running errands, playing "driver" to Ian (who should have his license come December), bathing, reading, helping with homework, or just plain passed-out by 9pm. The life of a busy mom, right?! Oh, and I LOVE every last minute of it! How blessed I am to have 4 beautiful children and to be home with them at least 5 out of 7 days. Never did I imagine I would have the opportunity to be the mom I dreamed of :) Now don't get me wrong, it's not all fun and games. I have no clue how either of my grandmother's were able to maintain such order with 5 kids each! And let's remember, only one parent worked and they only had 1 car. Although if only Josh had the car I would probably be less busy since I wouldn't be able to drive anyone anywhere :) Oh...how sad Ian would be!

Ashlynn is growing by leaps and bounds weighing in at 16 lbs by 6 months! She is a hearty eater, mainly still just breast milk but I have started some fruit and veggies occasionally at meal time. She and I are taking a plane ride to NY in a few weeks to visit my family and celebrate my grandma's 90th birthday.

Abby started kindergarten and is the apple of our eye! She is doing fantastic and will be recognized as Character Kid of the Month for her class on Friday!! She is looking forward to going to the Celina pumpkin farm as a field trip :) She is also taking the CogAT test (for gifted and talented) next month.

Keara...well, she has shown me that without Abby's influence, she is one smart cookie and a well behaved little girl. A big helper to me during the day and loves to read and color. Of course, in the dirt or on a bike is really where she wants to spend all her time.

Ian is fairing well, struggling in a couple of his AP classes, but he is putting forth all of his effort. He's playing Running Back and OLB for the Varsity Football. Soccer will be next, starts up in January. Yea...34 degree games.

All in all, we are blessed. Life always comes with struggles, but I keep my eye on the prize and remember that my Heavenly Father will take care of my needs. The rest is just fluff.

Praise Him in all we do, give to those even less fortunate than we are. JOY. Jesus Others Yourself.

Update! Update!!

2010-05-18T10:59:00.002-05:00

Holy cow!!! So much has happened since my last post :) We were blessed early with our 3rd daughter (4th child)...Ashlynn Sterling made her debut on March 29, 2010 at 2:59 pm, a Monday. She is the only pregnancy where my water broke and that I went into labor early with. It was a nice way to end the childbearing years! My dad and stepmom were present this time (the only time they have been in Tx for any births!) as my brother had gotten married the week before on a cruise that the rest of the family attended.

My labor and delivery was by far, the best!! I had full faith in my midwife even when she found umbilical cord next to her head and she was not fully engaged. I was transported by Ambulance to the hospital with the slight fear that if my water fully broke, the cord could potentially come out first cutting off all blood supply to the baby. My midwife ruptured the rest of the amniotic sack at the hospital with the OR suite ready in case I needed a C-section, which I didn't. Once she did that and brought her head down into position I was up and walking, laboring naturally. I delivered without any problems, no drugs and it was the best!! I am so grateful to have had AC there to deliver her as we formed a wonderful bond during my pregnancy care :) Little Ashlynn was all of 6 lbs 8oz and 18.5 inches long. My smallest baby.

She is the best little baby. She only cries when she is hungry, sleeps well, nurses like a champ, and is loved by all her siblings!

Abigail is officially registered for Kindergarten!! She is so excited to go to a big school, but mommy is sad to be sending her off for 7 hours a day!! She is so used to playing outside many times a day that I wonder how she will do with only a 30 minute recess?? Why do we not allow our little ones to play and run anymore? She is reading better, doing simple addition and subtraction and loves to play house! She tells me she is going to be a nurse when she grows up and "work with you, mommy". How can I not love this little girl!!

Keara is my rough and play girl. She has decided to be a motorcycle and car racer when she grows up. She thinks Santa is bringing her a motorcycle for Christmas...how disappointed she will be!! But you have to admire her determination and willingness to do what she loves :) She is a good sister, but doesn't dote on Ashlynn. She will hold her for a few minutes, and then she is done. She loves to play with her trucks, color and watch Jungle Junction and NASCAR.

More on Ian to follow. For now, I have to get ready to entertain a good friend and her new baby girl!!

Blessings and Gratitude, many Thanks to my Heavenly Father for all I have....

Happy New Year

2010-01-12T16:02:00.002-06:00

I have been without a computer now for a little over 2 months? I'm actually getting used to it. I use Ian's (with permission) when I have a need, or beg Josh to let me use his for a split second as he is selfish and doesn't want to share. 'Grow up' is what I say!! Honestly, we have far more needs in this life than a computer for each adult in the house. Just look around your community, the world, and see how many people are doing without the basic needs of survival. They aren't complaining about no having a computer, or a bed, or a coat are they? We live in such a a sefish, over-indulgent, materialistic, over sexualized and sinful, Jesus lost society. How have we allowed ourselves to get to this point? What will it take for us as a world to open our eyes and realize that there is only one goal in this life...to have Christ. To have that personal relationship that will guide us, protect us, and love us. Then we will have His eyes to see the world in true color and clarity. Look around people...there is life going on that does not center around you!!

I am grateful for my Christian friends. Grateful to have people in my life that see beyond themselves, beyond the newest flatscreen, beyond the big house with a media room. They keep me grounded, remind me to see through God like eyes at how our world really is and help me to find ways of making it a better place. I love the fact that in my line of 'work' I can touch people. That I can make a small difference. That I can feel Jesus work through me because I only want to do His will, let the Holy Spirit work through me.

26 weeks, 6 days along in the pregnancy. I feel good :) I do get sore, those ligaments that hold up my uterus have been overstretched one to many times! I swell if I'm on my feet for more than 2 shifts in a row, but rest and levitation take care of it. My blood pressure is perfect (less than 117), no major complications, baby girl is moving like a rock star and I pray that I pass my Glucose Tolerance Test next week! Hard to believe that she will be here in about 14 weeks! Maybe I should start dusting off the baby items? Getting them out of the attic for washings might be a good start!

The family is good :) Ian is into soccer season now, the girls are a mess and have bad cabin fever, and Josh is still able to get a round of golf in here and there. I'm planning the garden for next year, prepping my soil as I will plant my seeds in March. Hoping for a good lush crop!! I need to do some canning :)

My bff Donna and her family are back in the area!! Yea! I could not be happier :) We may not get together ALL the time, but then again we both have 3 children and busy lives. We respect that in each other. It is such a relief to me that I have her to turn to, and in close proximity now.

As I always remind myself...I have a blessed life. Our needs are met, we are healthy and happy. I pray the Lord continues to work on Josh, turning his heart towards Him and helping him see the Light.

Always with Faith and Grace...

Tis the Season!

2009-12-04T19:59:00.002-06:00

I sit here finally posting an update while Abby and Keara are watching the Muppets "Letters to Santa" show. I remember watching them every week and it was the best show ever!! They are mesmerized. Ian is off at a friends house, Josh is out watching the Mav's with his bff Kevin. So here I am, christmas lights glowing, candle burning and a quiet house. Ahhh....so peaceful!

I am now 21 wks, 2days along in this pregnancy and all is going well. I haven't posted it here, but we are expecting another girl!! I am excited, and Josh has had some grieving to go through. He is heartbroken to not be having a boy and I feel saddened for him but very grateful we are having a healthy baby (so far). All the morning sickness is gone, the heartburn has gone into full gear and I am desperately watching my weight gain. I have been very controlled since getting my thyroid under control, but am battling the initial 10 lbs I gained when from a health stand point, I don't need to gain anymore. Josh wants me to "eat for 2" and I have to keep reminding him that I am eating for quality, not quantity.

I am so blessed. To have my family, friends and Faith. I love this season! I promise to write more when my head is not hurting and I'm less tired :)

2009-11-09T11:57:00.003-06:00

Busy, Busy, Busy!! That is how life has felt for the last month. It seems like each week, each day just flies by and before I know it...I still have not completed what I set out to accomplish. I am so badly wanting to get together with some of my "mom" friends, take my kids to some kind of function to enjoy. I'm hoping we can make the Veterans Day Parade.

Ian had his Homecoming game and dance on October 24th. I promise I have pictures, just no way of uploading them at the moment (my computer crashed so I am in between). He and Lauren had a nice time and they looked fantastic! They and 2 other "couples" went to a little french restauraunt for dinner where Ian even ordered for Lauren! By george, our drilling of manners has paid off!!!! He was a true gentleman, and I a pride filled mother.

I am now 17 wks 5 days into my pregnancy. It seems like a long way, but feels like I've been pregnant forever. I feel so much better energy wise after being on the Synthroid for 4 weeks now. I still have some intermittent morning sickness, an aversion to meats (but it's getting better) and have a hard time tolerating my pre-natal vitamins. That last part is nothing new, I'm like that with all my pregnancies. My weight gain is much better...2 lbs at the last visit. Heartburn and acne breakouts seem to be the most annoying part this go around. Maybe a boy?? We may find out on November 23. I am scheduled for my sonogram, but we still have not decided whether or not to determine the sex or let it be a surprise :0) Guess everyone will have to wait until then!

Keara's skin is a bit ugly at the moment. I'm not sure if it's the time of year or if she is playing outside too much and reacting to the grass, trees and pollens? I bathe her and change her clothes after lunch/before nap when she is outside in the morning. I've been using the cutivate more often even though I hate using steroids on her! It is helping and therefore I will oblige.

I just wish she could eat some more foods, even just dairy, but until we know for sure....she will continue on her vegetarian diet.

Life is full of so many blessings. I am so thankful for all the friends and family that I have in my life, even when they are there for me in a long distant way. I sure do wish we could all get together more often, maybe that can be my goal for the next year; to make more effort with my friends.

Be thankful each day, hug your children, love your spouse. Each day is precious and no one is promised tomorrow.

Ugh. It is a feeling.

2009-10-08T13:25:00.002-05:00

I sit here in bed. Yes, bed. Might I say that for the last 4-6 weeks I have had absolutely NO desire or motivation to get out of it! I mean, I literally could lay in bed all day. It's not that I'm tired or sleepy, just totally disinterested and fatigued. I honestly started to believe that I am suffering from depression this pregnancy. Then I went for my 12 week appt and found out that my thyroid is not functioning properly...what a relief!! I mean that in a "thank goodness I don't just have to suffer through this" kind of way. It also explained the 10 lbs I have gained in 6 weeks and how I have had so much difficulty with my weight over the last year, and why I've been increasingly tired. So today, I start on my thyroid replacement medication and look forward to feeling better. To feeling up to actually getting out of bed, schooling my children and cooking dinner for my family!!

I'm missing Ian's game tonight and I'm a bit sad :( I know he's almost 16, but I really enjoy supporting him in all he does. They are playing in Keller, the late game, and I have to work tomorrow. So in my place, his Uncle Eric et al will be there to root him on! Thanks Eric!!

Abby and Keara were very excited to hear the baby's heart beat yesterday. It was 160 bpm and loud. He/She was moving around quite a bit, another good sign. Aliza told them she would need their help next time with finding the heart beat so they are looking forward to the next visit. It is so much fun to watch 2 excited siblings be giddy over having a baby brother or sister!

I also found out today that my brother's neighbors had their baby very premature, 27 weeks and she only weighs 15 oz. Please pray for them and that God's will be done for their family. Wrap them in Love, Faith and Grace.

Blessings to all.

Morning

2009-09-24T07:56:00.002-05:00

Ahhh...I am actually feeling well this morning! I woke early to get Ian to school for a re-take of his Geometry exam. Seems like the entire class did not do so hot, so he is letting everyone re-take it. He has a game tonight against his old school Liberty HS...should be a good one!!

My in-laws are coming into town next week. I always enjoy having them visit :) My dear FIL doesn't get away to often with his job, so I hope he gets a lot of relaxation in while he's here! We don't have any plans set, everyone will just take it day-by-day and see what comes our way. I do plan on taking the kids to Western Days in Hallsville on Saturday the 3rd. Donna and the family should be there so it is a time for all of us to catch up (as if we don't talk on the phone daily!) and let the kids play. It's an annual event and a lot of fun. I pray that the Lord guides them in this next stage of their lives, with the desire to move and the startup of a new business venture they need to let Him show them the way. I always pray that every need is met.

Time to get busy...it's table time and I promised the girls we would go to the park this morning when we are all done.

FAITH IN ALL THINGS WE DO....

Catch-up

2009-09-20T16:50:00.003-05:00

I notice it's been a while. I was sick, still am if you count the parasite living in my uterus. I had the most horendous sinus infection/allergy flare up that I can remember ever having. It last for 5 days with me takig Tylenol Sever Sinus around the clock suffering aweful so that I did not "exceed the recommended dosage". UGH!!! And my midwife said there was really nothing else to do unless I started to run a fever, which thankfully I never did. I just hope that all that medicine had no adverse effect on the little embryo? I even dragged my butt to work for 2 days because there is only 1 of us per shift and I didn't have the heart to call my only 2 co-workers and ask then to pick up my slack :( By the grace of God, the days were uneventful and I was able to rest myself a few times throughout my 12 hour day.

Now I'm just nauseated. You know that sick-to-your-stomach feeling you have when you're hung over...okay, think way back to those single-not-a-care-in-the-world-days....remember?? That is how I feel all day, every day. I have no desire at all to cook. Meat grosses me out. Although, I did suck it up and saute chicken tenders to cut up for Chicken Spaghetti tonight :) Yea for me! I honestly could live off of cereal, sandwiches, soup, cake and ice cream. Preferably cream soup...not brothy stuff. Ok, really, just tomato soup. With a good ham/cheese sandwich....and a big bowl of ice cream on top of a warm chocolate brownie. Yum. We'll see how well this "no weight gain until 7 months" goes. That was my goal, by the way. I was attempting to lose weight when we found out about the baby, so I must limit my overall gain.

And lazy!! Woa is me, I am LAZY. I have slept in until no earlier than 0830 on my days off. What a waste! I am usually up by 0630 to get my day rolling. Not now, and this had better pass because Abby and Keara are not changing their schedule's for me. I guess I shouldn't be so hard on myself for slacking 3 months out of my childrens entire lives. Life keeps moving, and things get done. Maybe it's my own hiatus from feeling overwhelmed with all that has to be accomplished. I take care of the housework, laundry, cooking, some yard work (Ian mow's) shopping, bill paying, kids engagements, little ones in general, yada, yada, yada. Don't get me wrong, I take it all in stride and do what has to be done, but right now it just seems a bit overwhelming. Unfortunately, my dear husband still thinks his only job in life is get up, work, golf, repeat. Nowhere does he offer to help at home or do any "manly house repairs". Hmmm. Did I marry a "metro-sexual"?? There was a time where he had a load of home improvement ideas, now he won't even handle changing out the air filter. Such is life. At least I know we can survive if something should ever happen to him, God forbid. Not much slack left to be picked up.

Guess I'm a bit moody, too. You think?? I just finished a great book, "The Lace Reader" by Bunonia Barry. What a fantastic tradgedy of a novel. It kept me intently interested, to the point of forcing myself to close it at night for sleep. I cried through the last chapter, the spin on the plot was wonderful yet sad.

The kids are great. Abby wants to know how the baby "got in my stomach". Great. Pandora's box is open. She also tells me that her and Keara will babysit when the baby comes out. I'm feeling confident. Ian is playing football, great at it I might add! He is at the mall seeing a movie with some friends. He is pretty accepting of another sibling. There will be 16yrs in between so it's hard, I guess, to feel overly excited. He is very supportive of me and helps out when I feel real bad...a great big brother :-)

Signing off. I can't sit too long or the stomach acts up worse. I need to call my dad anyways and check in on the family...I miss them. NY Giants play tonight....those poor-poor Cowboys.

Anew

2009-09-03T07:31:00.003-05:00

What a mad rush of a last week it has been! I feel like my cup is just about empty at this point. When was the last time I made it to church? Don't get me wrong, church is not the only place that Jesus reveals himself, but being around friends that are spiritually supportive and hearing the Bible taught to you on such a day-to-day survival basis is so refreshing and fulfilling!!! My August weekend's have come to an end and this coming Sunday I will be back in service, 5th row, right side :)

We found out Sunday August 16th that I'm pregnant (again). It wasn't the usual jump-for-joy and hurry-up-and-call-the-family kind of reaction. There was anger and frustration to start off with, my feelings of being a let-down, and then having to answer a million questions which kept including "how are we going to afford another child". There were a few things said that can't be taken back, but can be forgiven. Well, the questions of the worldly nature came from my non-believer husband. Me, I have faith that all will work out and this is now God's timing. We had not ruled out another child, just felt that now was not the best timing (isn't that normally how it goes?). 1. Ian in High School 2. Josh starting the PGM program 3. 3 bedroom house. Did I mention the 3 bedroom house? Not that we need a bigger house, but an extra closet for the kiddo would be nice! But as I said, all will work out and our needs will be met.

Now I am excited and Josh is coming around and has shown support to me and our child. I have to take the vitamins that, in his words "will make it a boy". I only wish it was that easy!! He just doesn't like to hear that the sex is determined the moment of fertilization. That was his job, not mine :) And for those few people thinking this...NO. I did NOT "trick" Josh into another child. I am a bit more grown up than that and I respect my husband and our marriage. Surprise! These things happen in a married relationship where no one is "sterilized"!!

Time to get started on my day. I actually slept a bit and now I need to check out Libby's blog on how there trip to Korea is fairing. They are picking up the newest member of their family, Hudson. I am so thrilled beyond words for them!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward" Psalm 127:3

Morning

2009-08-18T05:38:00.002-05:00

I feel like I finally had a decent nights sleep! That would explain the rising at 0445 to make my dh breakfast, and then the choice to stay up and get started on my day. A perfect time for scripture reading while the sun is just beginning to crest on the horizon. It's like God breathing a clean, fresh breathe over the earth to cleanse us all and renew our spirits. The crisp morning air, despite how thick and nasty it will be by lunch time.

I realize His timing is everything. We must have faith that all things happen in harmony with His plan. I can only accept what He sends, know that it can be worked through and will have such great rewards when it is all said and done :-) How different my life is when I accept His plan and give up my own desire to control my life. It is not my life. It is His life. I am here to fulfill His Word and commandment. It's a serene calmness and peace that one has when one turns his/her life over to Christ Jesus. I find that I don't get so worked up about what most people think are negative situations, or crises. I don't worry as much. Don't get me wrong, I worry by nature. I have just learned that the Lord does not want me to "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Mt 11:29

It's still a struggle for me at times. There seems to be so much negativity in our home that I become drained trying to maintain peace and balance. If I let the negative take the power, then all will go wrong. Life and Relationships. I renew myself with His word, church family and close friends who walk in Christ. They give me strength and have an understanding that my non-believer friends and family do not. I look out upon my family that does not have a personal relationship with Jesus and think, "you have no idea what you are missing out on, let me show you, come walk with me!! Come and see how wonderful life can REALLY be!!" But it is not I that will lead them, but Him. I only pray I can be an example for Him and continue to grow in my own relationship.

Life works out. It really does. This I know. I appreciate all my friends and family that have been so supportive over the years, I thank God for all the blessings in my life and for those yet to come!! May His love continue to shine down on my family and His arms encircle us in His love.

August 13

2009-08-13T20:57:00.008-05:00

I guess this post will be more of photo journal of our summer? I haven't been able to upload anything for a while and want to get some actual visual representations of what fun we have been having! We had the pleasure of spending time with friends at Hawaiian Falls(we adore the Johnston's), playing in the backyard, Roller Skating (go Katy!!), and completing a few home improvement projects (ahem....see the floor pictures? I'm proud of the job I did!).

This summer has gone by so fast and I hope we did not miss out on the important things? I tried to plan our days and activities around friends and family since they bring us the most joy. I wish we could have gone to Louisianna again, but Ian's football practice made that next to impossible. I also hope we can make a trip back to NY next summer, start a tradition of every other summer? Ian starts 10th grade in just over 2 weeks, and the girls will be back to their homeschool taught preschool. I look forward to learning with Abby and what direction she will take. And I think Keara is going to be a quick study, but I may be wrong. I have lots planned and each day will bring us something new and exciting.

Abigail and Keara's bedroom. I finally added curtains! The plaque came from Canton, Tx and reads "I love you to the moon and back" which is one of our favorite phrases to quote. Yes, one is a Pink freak and the other Purple Passion....

I've taken up a little more sewing, though not what I would have liked. Maybe this winter will bring a bit more time, more initiative and motivation. I don't think I will ever master the dress making, probably better off ordering them or finding them at the local flea markets. Abigail loves her little house style dresses!

This is our master bedroom. If you recall, it was painted Dallas Maverick Blue for 2 years. Talk about headache inducing!! Well, now (with the help of my mom) it is a nice serene, calming grayish beige. The bathroom actually has a green hue and the bedroom more of a cool gray. Yes, we primed all the walls first!! I think a lot of it depends on the lighting, but I love it!!!

We had more fun at the skating rink in Grapevine...talk about some cool kiddie "walkers". Keara took off without any help from anyone! Abby on the other hand needed about an hours worth of lesson and encouragement before venturing out on her own. But once she did...LOOK OUT!! Ian was such a great sport with all of them and the girls really enjoy doing anything with their cousin Katelyn.

Sprinkler=$10

Pool=$20

Catch toys=$6

Sisters having a blast in the yard getting along=Priceless

Hawaiian Falls!! Yea!!

Abby repeatedly climbing all the way to the top slide. For HOURS. I swear we were there from 11-4pm. It could not have been a better day for Keara. 91 degrees, overcast. She does not do well in heat and sun, so God made a day for her :)

Melody and Judy Johnston playing in the kiddie pool.

Ian and Emily being retarded.

Need I say more? Emily is a great girl :)

Ian must be her special Ed friend project.

July 29

2009-07-29T08:47:00.004-05:00

FINALLY!! Josh's Level 1 PGM books arrived yesterday. Let's count...4 inch binders=2, 3 inch binders=3, 2 inch binders=4, dvd's, 2 inch hardcover books=2. I would say he has a lot of reading, studying as well as a 4 inch binder of "Work Experience" to fill...he is most comfortable with that one :-) Now life becomes a bit more difficult for the next 3-5 years, but it will be so well worth it in the end! Hopefully I will be able to arrange my schedule with his so that he has at least 2 days a month that he can devote the entire day to his studies.

My last couple of days at work have been good :) I actually left Monday night with a feeling of accomplishment and peace, not reliving the day in my head to find errors or things I may have forgotten! I felt much more comfortable with Rapid Responses, even feeling a lot better with STEMI's/AMI. I know I will be good. To quote my step-mom Pat (a former long time cardiac nurse herself) "Jenny, you just need to have the same confidence in yourself that everyone has in you". She is right, and I will give myself that, just not right off the bat. It keeps me safe and humble :)

I made plans to go through our closet and get rid of old, unused clothes when I received an email from church about a family in need...a sign!! This family which includes 2 teenagers and a toddler. They lost everything....I mean everything!! They left with the clothes on their backs and that is it. So I will go through my kitchen and bathrooms and see if there are any unused items I can donate. I URGE ALL OF YOU TO DONATE UNUSED/UNWANTED ITEMS TO YOUR LOCAL NON-PROFIT CHARITIES AND SHELTERS!! Think about it people, in our society and lifestyle of today look around your house and tell me how many "things" you really need?? Everyone has items/clothing that are not a necessity of daily living. Let's quite working to pay for a style of living that is not within our means but keeps us within a social cirlcle. If someone is only your friend b/c of what you have, then they are not your friend in Christ. I want people to be my friend in Christ, don't you? Let's step back and re-evluate why we live and how we live and do as Christ instructs us..."Love you brother as yourself".

"He who is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward him for what he has done." Proverb 19:17

July 23rd

2009-07-23T13:45:00.003-05:00

I am so proud of Ian! The girls and I went on about our usual Thursday routine of watching "bubba" play ball from 10-11am. Unbeknownst to us, today was going to be playoff day as well so thankfully the weather was much cooler than usual! We stayed for all 4 games to see Ian and the Heritage Coyotes become the Champions!! And to think that all the other HS's believed that Heritage would suck this year since they are a new High School. EAT YOUR WORDS!! They rocked the place, running over Wakeland and Centennial as if their teams never showed up :) Ian had 2 TD's, 2 beautiful interceptions (one for a TD) and many blocked passes....he shined both offensively and defensively. What a player, and to watch him take a leadership role on the team makes a mom proud! He really knows how to be a positive influence with his team and friends, he really is a great young man and we are so proud of him. I wish I had pic's to put up, of he and the entire team. They all work great together and lift each other up, treating each other like family...so great to see.

This was a great way to mend from my emotionally stressful day at work yesterday. I am now 2 days into my CV Clinician role and loving it! Both days have been a bit "quiet" yet I have had some great exposure; 2 Rapid Response's, 1 Hypothermia protocol, and 1 STEMI. All went very smoothly, with order initiation taking minimal time. The STEMI was hard because it was not a good outcome. I realized for the first time that losing a patient in the unit is not the same as loosing one that comes in to the ER and passes in less than 60 mintes despite all of the effort's of the medical team. It broke my heart to bear the news with them, and yes I cried with them...who would want to hold back that empathy? It also gave me a whole new sense of respect for one of my preceptors who is undoubtedly one of the strongest, smartest, professional and empathetic/compassionate people I know. Watching her handle the entire situation has taught me just how important a role and how much responsibility I will be shouldering in the next 4-6 weeks. I pray that I can develop a bit more confidence so I can be somewhere in the realm of her aura. I look forward to my time with the other Clinician so that I can utilize her skill and confidence as I find my place as well. This is such a great role and I am so proud to be given the opportunity to fulfill it, I hope that my bit of "fear" helps me to become more confident and implement the protocols correctly and safely.

Yesterday

2009-07-19T14:06:00.002-05:00

I have come to realize that people come and go out of our lives for different reasons and purposes. Sometimes they are not even part of your life, but the life of someone you come to know. Then you find yourselft wanting to be sure to "check in" on these people once in a while. I know....I talk confusion. Anyways, Josh has a "friend" that he has chosen to distance himself from a few years ago. I honor that decision because when he did, it was a time that the relationship was unhealthy for both parties and our marriage was suffering from some social decisions.

Well, over the past few years I would on occasion call Kristy or send an email to see how she and Adam were doing, check in on the kids. They have 3 daughters who are now 3 1/2 (twins) and 2 yrs old. I pray for them, as I do all of my friends and family. Now, I don't have a prayer list that I go off of, I just pray for people as they cross my mind. I find it more personal when I pray that way, rather than utilizing a To-Do list as if it is a chore.

Me, Ian, Abby and Keara met up with the Lamb's yesterday for a play-date. The girls had a wonderful time and played very well together!! It was cute to see all 5 girls playing and sharing :) Ian spent a little time with Adam playing guitars....Adam would play in his sleep if he could learn how and Ian needed some time with a well experienced guitarist. Ian enjoys playing with older people who respect music. He was strumming along with Eric Clapton on a DVD. He's amazing (Ian).

I had some time to talk with Kris and how God is blessing their lives. It seems that she has come to accept some "quirks" about her husband (as I have mine) and let go of the control, making a big difference and releasing a burden. They are in a better place financially, in a bigger home and both enjoying their jobs and better pay. I am happy for them!! Praise God for his blessings when we are obedient!! I hope to meet up regularly, at intervals.

Sometimes we need to space ourselves from people for just the shear fact of growing and maturing. Sometimes it's a one time deal, and when the job is done....we move on. Then there are times where one may realize that reason for the initial seperation wasn't due to one person's behavior, but for you to reflect that your behavior was just the same....and continues to be the same.

I will continue to pray for them, pray for blessings on their family and hopefully have occasional get-togethers with the children. We had a very nice time and I am glad to still be an influence in their lives.

"The Lord reigns forever...Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsken those who seek you." Ps 8:7,10

July 13, 2009

2009-07-13T10:23:00.002-05:00

I just finished reading a friend's blog today and came the realization that I have never blogged about myself or my family in a true sense. So here I go....

The year is 1992 and I am in the midst of a tormentuous relationship. He is controlling, demeaning, addicted. UnChristian in every sense of the word. He is the Devil. And yet, I love him or so I convince myself. He is the first "man" to show me love and attention and while I am without any self dignity and without any self esteem I lavish in his negative attention. It is a short relationship for he spends a majority of it in jail for minor offenses. It is during one of his "out" times that it happens....I become pregnant. Great. Now what do I tell my parents?? Fortunately, they are supportive. Praise God!! He knew I was going to need them for the next 5 years. For that is how long I was going to have my Step-dad with me and we needed to mend our relationship (which we did before his death in June 1999...10 yrs, 1 month and 1 day ago). Ian was born Nov 4, 1993 at 2341.

The next 9 years would prove difficult for me. (I had left the Catholic Church in NY when my mom/step dad moved us to Texas. I remember my mom would occasionally take us to St. Matthew's but nothing routine. Prayer was not a part of our lives and I was lost.) During those 9 years I would attend and graduate college, lose not only my step-dad but my grandma and grandpa Templar, my uncle's Richard and Bob. I would go through a few relationships and party a little more than a responsible mom should. What was I looking for? I don't know. Thankfully Ian had my mom as a good role model. Don't misinterpret...I raised him, provided for him but was a lousy role-model. In retrospect I was an irresponsible parent. Remember, Jesus was not my priority at this time. In 2002 I had begun attending the local LDS church. My boyfriend at the time was raised Mormon and my interest in him sparked me to begin my research. That is why I walked into Sunday service one morning. WOW!! How welcoming, warm and non judgmental they were! I needed that kind of support at that time in my life. It helped me through the breakup and began my search for a real relationship. I still keep in touch with many of them, but have come to "disagree" with some of the traditions of the church. So yet again, i am left to ponder my role in this world.

At the urging of some friends at work during the summer of 2003, I posted a profile on Match.com. Why not? I wasn't making any progress as is and I was about to 28!! I had always wanted a large family and time was of the essence! So I go on a couple of "dates" (safely I may add...met up at a neutral public place). Nothing felt comfortable. It is in October that I get a wink from "Phelixdecat"...hmmm? I wink back. I look at his profile. Cute!! I'm lovin' the bit of gray in the hair (I'm a sucker for that dignified look) and glasses...what a smile! If you know me, then you know my obsession with clean teeth. We chat online, talk on the phone and finally meet for a date in December. He picked me up with a bouquet of flowers. I opened the door and realized at that moment. "He's the one". Simple as that. I will marry this man. 6 months later we are engaged. Mind you, I did not probe him on his belief in Christianity. What was I thinking!!?? I wasn't...I was "In Love" (said with that ooey, gooey sound) We had planned to be married in the church that his grandparents and parents were married in but in the end, chose the JP. We decided using the money towards the purchase of a new home was the wisest option. *November 23, 2004 is the magic day* Ian is know calling Josh "dad" :-) This is how Ian will come to feel about him for the rest of his life.

Within 18 months we had moved into a new home, had 2 daughters, made it through 2 job losses and the loss of his grandfather. That was hard for him. That summer, July 2006 I began attending a local Fellowship church since Ian enjoyed the youth group. He had friends from school there. Josh has without a doubt taken on the full role of being Ian's dad. Christ was still not a part of our lives and I was coming to understand that Josh would never return or turn to Jesus. He is an Agnostic. He believes in a higher power but does not believe what he can not see. He is a stubborn capricorn who thrives off of proof in any area of his life. He does not attend church, he is lost. His work life is crumbling, our marriage is beginning to suffer from the society influence in his life. He has dreams, but despite any support, he is unmotivated to reach them. All he has ever wanted to do is Golf. It is his passion and life dream. He has golfed since he was 6 (and a strong bond he helps me keep with my beloved step dad). I love him. I do not like him. He is suffereing with depression. I need someone in my life. I turn to Jesus with full force and submission. My life is not my life, it is His. It is His will that must be done. Use me, however you need to. Teach me. I need to know how to lead my family when my husband can not. Strenghthen me, for I am bearing the yoke of my entire family for which I will turn over to you. Protect me. Satan is alive in my house and I need you to protect us all.

October 2007. I am baptised. For real this time. How amazing that once I put my entire life in His hands that things began to turn around!! I'm not saying that roses, poppies and tulips were scattered in my house, but the stress of "making things work" began to lessen. Relationships began to heal. My head was clearer for I had my sight on the real prize. I began to tithe. Not a full 10% for my husband is my husband and I am bound to honor him regardless of his beliefs. 5%. It keeps the peace and allows me to give with a pure heart. I am now involved with LifePointe Fellowship. I love my "new" life!! Josh in the meantime has helped to start up a new Ebay Company, EasySale.com and is now making a good income. We are comfortable. I drop to Part-time work, 2 days a week. January rolls around....BAM! He is laid off on the 25th. 3rd time.

I don't know if it was the prayers, the Grace of God through me, or his own insight. Josh finally decided to pursue a role in the Golf world. He put out over 50 applications online and in person. No one was hiring...it's a hard line of work to get into especially when you are not a PGA member, but can not become one until you work for 6months in the field and are accepted. July 7, 2008 we are en route to NY when he gets the call...HIRED!! Heritage Ranch in Fairview, close to home. YEA!!! Praise our Lord and Saviour!! (I quietly pray to myself).

This last year has been just as up and down as all of them. Josh was accepted into the PGA, beginning his studies to become whatever he wants to in the PGA (as well as play the amateur tour). We have even had some "deep" conversations about God. I have beared my testimony to him with joy and tears. He is ok with raising the children to believe and know God/Jesus. He doesn't dispute my taking them to Church every Sunday, he is even invited whenever he wants to come. He doesn't. He still doesn't believe. That's ok. "What??" you say! I know, it has taken me too many years, but I finally came to the realization that Josh and I were not brought together so that I could make a believer out of him. That is God's place. Only He can turn Josh's heart and open him up to the life of a Christian. We came together so that MY faith could be strengthened. So that I would come to realize what I had been missing all along. That void? Yea, Josh was my missing piece, but God, He was what I needed to fill the void. Josh knows that if God needs to use me to bring him to Christ, that I will whole-heartedly give my life. For that is how deep my love is for both of them, for it would be my honor to give up my own earthly life so that Josh will have his own eternal life.

"Be still and know that I am God" PS 46:10

Summer Update

2009-07-12T14:41:00.002-05:00

We have had so much fun!! I have tried to keep the kids somewhat busy, but that is very hard to do when the temperature is over 100 degrees and your youngest child is somewhat allergic to the sun :( With the Lord's blessing we were able to spend a full 6 hours at Hawaiian Falls with the Johnston's! It was 91 out, overcast and perfect for little Keara. She and Abby spent the whole time climbing all the way to the top and sliding down the longest slides....eventhough Keara was a smidgin' bit under the height requirement. She knows no fear!!

The 4th of July was fun!! Hot, but fun. Josh and I took Ian, Abby and Keara to the Ranger's game and watched the fireworks afterwards. I must say, not the long show that Arlington is know for, but a great time as a family and memories were made.

Yesterday I took them all to Skate Town in Grapevine and we spent 2 hours learning to roller skate, Keara yet again being the daredevil and Abby requiring a little bit of instruction. By the time we left they were both worn out and Ian was Mr. Skill's on the Rink. ;)

I'm having some issues with the main computer, so unfortunately I am unable to post any pictures :( I have been collecting them on the memory card an will upload them as soon as I can. I know many of you would like to see updated pictures of the kids!! I also dug up (with the help of Josh) another flower bed in the backyard...thanks to my mom who gave me her birdbathe so now I have my own "bed and breakfast" for the birdies!! Abby and Keara love it...Ian isn't all too interested. As I expected....he is almost 16!!

I start a new position at work the week of the 19th....CV Clinician. It is a role I have admired since its inception in 2003. I finally came to myself in regards to my knowledge base, experience and confidence and applied. 11 days after the interview I was offered the position!! I will dearly miss my CVICU, and hope to maintain a good relationship with ALL of them and work with them on a regular basis. They are all part of who I am and my experiences.

Summer Cometh

2009-05-31T20:37:00.001-05:00

Is it me or is becoming a bit warm?? I would give my left arm (since I’m a righty) to be able to step in my backyard and Dive in! Oh, the luxury of a pool right in your own backyard. Ugh….the upkeep of your own pool. Not to mention the added electric expense (not too significant I have been told) and initial water bill. {sigh} but I think I could handle it all when I think of the payoff! J

I am slowly turning out back lot into a back yard. Added 2 trees (Arizona Ash and a Bradford Pear) and a small flower bed in front of my bedroom window which will be succulent with the scent of Gardenia in a season or 2 J My dear husband will be so happy (do you hear the sarcasm?). I got the bedroom and master bath repainted with the help of my mom “the painter”. That woman loves to paint!! The color came out fantastic!! Once we add in the new King size bed and bedding…how sweet it will be! A room we can relax in and enjoy rather than walking in and having the immediate onset of a Migraine. Those of you who have seen the Dallas Maverick Blue know what I am talking about.

Keara is now “officially” potty training. Granted, I had to force her into panties, but nonetheless, she is doing it! Yea! I apologize now to all of you whose furniture she may pee on (and those she has, sorry Sheila and Wes). What will I do when no one is in pull ups?? I’m not ready for that!!

Lastly…A huge shout out to my Dad and Pat…THAN K YOU SO MUCH!!! I have the most wonderfully caring parents and I cherish my dad. He is so awesome and such and example with his forgiving, caring, support and guidance. A truly wonderful man and I am very proud to call him my dad J I love you both. I’ll end know before I start crying.

Jen, Jenny, Jennifer

Blessed be the name of the Lord……

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" Galatians 5:22-23

So Much Fun!!

2009-05-08T14:07:00.000-05:00

So I took the girls today to the 8^th annual Plano Kiwanis Butterfly Exhibit and they had a blast! My friend Jen and her husband Malcolm along with their 2 kids Caitlin and Dylan met us there. Dylan was a bit freaked out just like me. I don’t do flying insects very well, even the pretty kind. I think it just reminds me of both the movie “The Fly” and also the time my brother Eric had a silk worm try to crawl in his ear. Which could then lead me to the Star Trek movie, don’t know which one it was, that the slugs invaded the brains of some people. Which then leads me to Malcolm being a Trek-y and totally stoked about the new Star Trek movie. Oh. That’s right. Butterflies…wish we had our camera. But, I guess having the name Jennifer implies we are forgetful J But at least all the kids had fun. They were so cute trying to get the butterfly’s on their little “sweet sticks” and then keep them there. At one point I had 5 of them on my shirt and 2 on my head. EEKS!! GET THEM OFF ME!! Keara was all about having them land on her hand. I really enjoy doing things with the Mitchell’s. Now I just need to get Josh to come along, not that Malcolm needs a friend, but it sure would be nice for them to meet. And for me to not look like I have an imaginary husband…

Ahem….we could do a few things as a family.

Jen, Jenny, Jennifer

Lovin’ life as a SAHM

2009-04-23T12:34:00.001-05:00

So here I sit, updating my blog while in the background is Abby and Keara counting to 10 in Spanish; learned most appropriately from Dora the Explorer! Abby of course leads, and Keara follows. It’s like listening to a teacher and student…how wonderful!! We went to the park today as Keara is unable to play in the backyard. Our yard is in dire need of weed treatment and I am begging my husband to take care of it! The minute she goes out, her legs turn red and she begins to scratch. So much for the purpose of the play set! My goal is that it will be done this weekend, since my DH has Saturday off. Maybe. One can only hope.

I am hoping to go and visit a friend of mine tomorrow, but she has failed to return my call and message. I do miss her, Rachael, so call me back!!

There is this fantastic Christian gathering on May 5 if anyone out there in the DFW area wants to go, it’s God of the City (www.godofthecity.org) and it only cost $5.00! Kids under 6 are free. It is being held at the Dr. Pepper Park in Frisco with seating first come, first serve. I am taking my kids as it is only 2 ½ hours long and very well worth it J Check it out!

Maybe I will get some bread made this afternoon. Better yet, I’ll get caught up on my Bible Study!

Blessings~

Jen, Jenny, Jennifer…..

Spring is in the Air

2009-04-10T12:34:00.004-05:00

Yikes!! Time does get away from us, doesn't it? As if??? Abby is now 4, Keara just turned 3 (yesterday), Ian is finishing his freshman year and all I can think of is "when do I get to have my final baby #4?" I am getting older, you know. Oh, come on....you didn't think I would stay 29 that long did you? *sigh*....I love that the weather is warming up. I don't like the pollen counts. Poor Keara, she has does nothing but produce buckets of snot for the last 3 days. And I mean BUCKETS. This is despite 20 mg of Zyrtec daily, 12.5mg of Benadry 2 times a day and 10mg of Atarax as needed. One would think she'd be a sleepwalking zombie....oh no, not my little sedative tolerant baby girl. She'll be a nurse's worst nightmare one day if she ever has pain issues! Or if she ever has to be sedated!! Load her up like you would a big stallion...Ian is doing better. Spanish class is picking up (now that he is really working at it). He must maintain B's for at lease 3 marking periods to qualify for Driver's Education (our family rule) so he has a bit of incentive. Not to mention Football, he will finally play again after his season ending injury last summer. Josh and I look forward to seeing him play this year, not just chatting with the other players. He really is a good teenager. I hear horror stories from friends of mine who are having major behavioral issues with their boys and I think to myself "What a great kid we have". And the icing on the cake....he adores his sisters. Oh, he finally cut his hair. Short. Thank God, he looks so much better.

Abby is reading!! Now mind you it is just 3 letter words, but she is doing it!! I don't push her, just grab the opportunity when she is ripe for the picking. She loves to do homework, but reading is sometimes not her favorite. She is working hard on her penmanship and starting a little math (addition). She is still mommy's big little helper, but she can definitley be bossy to Keara. I have been looking into Irish Dance for her for next year. She likes to watch it and I think it would be a nice change. Plus, it's heritage for her.

Keara...*sigh* (again). She is so sweet, stubborn, and smart. Tolerating her allergy shots and hopefully outgrowing a small bit of her eczema. She too, likes homework. She counts to 15, knows her ABC song and will occasionally do flash cards to learn the letters. She likes to sing, play in the dirt and drive trucks around. My tom-boy. Every family needs one :)

Josh is working hard. Now that the weather is warm he works later and tee times are hard to come by. Clinics and lessons are starting so he will be working more, making extra money (yea!!) I worry about our economic times, but men always find the means to golf!! We don't have a lot of time together due to our schedules, but we work it out and find small moments to remember we're married :)

Me, I'm still working. I was picking up extra shifts during the winter but with Josh's schedule and the census at work being low, extra work is hard to find. I do my 2 days a week and will pick up a few hours here and there as I can. My duties at home increase when Josh and my work shedules shift balance. I like being home. I have my plans to get jams, jellies and fruits canned this summer. Strawberry jam is my first priority since we are just about hitting peak season!!

My 2009 Late Start!

2009-02-25T08:48:00.002-06:00

Today felt a lot like a "Rochester Morning in July" which brought back great memories of our trip. It is cool, light breeze and damp out. I let Abby and Keara ride their bikes for a bit as they were begging me to. I enjoyed my coffee watching them play wishing everyday could be like this!

They are getting so big! Abby is now 4 ("almost 5, mommy") and maturing so much lately. Listening to her talk now is bitter-sweet, she sounds so grown up and yet I want her to stay a little girl forever. She is now moving forward to read! She has mastered all of her letters and sounds and will begin short words this upcoming week. She has mastered numbers 1-20 and with a little help, can add simple numbers. She likes to point out letters and numbers as we drive, looking for 20, 40, and 45 (the average speed limit signs here in Tx). Keara starts her allergy shots today, I'll keep everyone posted on how she does. She is looking forward to being 3 in a little over a month. Ian is doing well. Testing boundaries and limits, slacking a bit in school, being as social as he can, but all-in-all....it could be a whole lot worse!

I went ahead(with the blessings of the Farmers Almanac) and planted a few early summer veggies yesterday. You see Sweet Peas, Strawberries, Rosemary, Texas Sweet Onion, and Red Onion. Scattered in there is our helper Marigolds. I'll add the cucs, beans, sage, and squash in the next couple of weeks. Tomatoes will be potted this year to reap a big crop without the hassle of those Horn Worms.

I planted a Raspberry bush. Potted it so that it has a chance since our soil here is awful. I hope to get at least enough for the kids to pick and eat this year. I also planted a Blueberry bush as well. If I had to have one produce more, the raspberry would top my list. Yumm....Raspberry jam!!!

WOW!!!!

2008-12-09T09:39:00.002-06:00

I have the most awesome husband! Let me preempt this with telling you how much I despise cleaning our walk in shower. I mean DESPISE. If I had it to do over, it would be a large combo shower like Eric and Say have. Tile is my enemy.

Ok, so I get home from work and go through my routine (which includes removing the germ ridden clothes from my body) and have a bite to eat. I then get ready to shower (again, the germs) when I notice Josh is standing there in the doorway. "What are you doing?" I ask. "Waiting for you to get in the shower", he replies. I look down and low-and-behold, the heavens open...."OH-MY-GOSH!! Honey, you cleaned the shower!!!!!" He was, at that moment, the greatest person on earth. That one act of kindness made me the happiest woman alive :)

So for all you husbands out there, find the one thing your wife hates most and do it. Just once. You will be amazed how high on a pedastal you will be placed. Go golf, my love, all the days you want....

My "Timely" Update...

2008-11-19T11:18:00.006-06:00

I know, I know....it's been far too long since I posted an update. There are a few of you that probably think I sunk into a deep depression, but rest assured I am doing fine. Life moves about as usual and the days seem to run together with home and work. I should probably make my New Year's Resolution to actually take time for myself once in a while, you think?

Ian is busy. Busy growing up and socializing. What lies ahead is another developmental stage that will make any mom teary eyed. He is pulling away from "the parents" and turning to "the friends". That is okay, though. It is expected and Ian has, for the most part, been a very good judge of character and I really enjoy the friends he has chosen. They all seem to have good morals and strong family units. He surprises me often with his emotional maturment, and Josh and I realize we really are doing a good job with him :)

So what, I'm NOT supposed to turn the water on?

Abby and Keara are your typical close-in-age sisters. They play so well together and fight even better on some days! Abigail is growing up too fast for her daddy and I as she will be 4 this spring. She is such a bright little girl with a whol lot of love to give. So caring and emphathetic, very much a "first born" in her own right. Keara is very vocal with a much larger vocabulary than Abby had at her age. She still struggles with her Atopic Dermatitis but we seem to have plateaud out with a few flare ups here and there. We did find that the Zyrtec off brands do not work for her. She is very sensitive to ingredients and the Brand name just works best for her. She is working through her 2nd sinus infection in 2 months right now. I have never seen a human being produce as much snot as this little girl!! THANK GOODNESS that Josh taught her to blow her nose last year!!

Look mom! We can use the hose without you!!

The first photo was taken at my friend Jana's house. She is one of my inspirations as a Christian women and a dear friend. We have known each other for about 7 years, but I think our friendship took hold when I became pregnant with Abby. She encouraged me with breastfeeding, using the cloth diapers (and rallied for the BEST baby shower gift of a large supply of them) She and Timothy now have 3 beautiful children and I hope that we can remain friends for many years to come! Her son Tristan is such a polite young man (at almost 5) and even held an umbrella for Abby when it was sprinkling outside!! (by the way, that is the dress I made for Abby. It didn't hold too well in the wash so I still have a lot to learn)

Josh is still madly in LOVE with his job! He will be taking his second PAT on December 1 in Houston. Please keep him in your prayers both for his progress and his trip there. He will be staying with his cousin Matt (we thank you for keeping him Matt!) There have been a few changes at work, but it is all good :) I will be picking up a couple of night shifts a month now to help with the income. It will be a bit difficult, but it works best with eveyone's schedules so I shall oblige. I will be working closer to home to do this, so no need to worry about the long drive! I will continue to work my 2 days a week at Harris in Fort Worth. The CVICU is a busy place and I don't think I can leave them! I love it there.

I will be working Thanksgiving and "black Friday" as it has come to be known. I'm sure Josh and the kids will find a large feast to attend (either Phil and Kim's or my mom's). To everyone else...remember to be thankful for all we have, our family and friends, pray for our troops and bless the retired Vet's who served in so many wars to maintain our freedom. Let us remind our children of the true blessings we have to be Thankful for. Oh, and don't forget to watch FOOTBALL!!!!

2008-10-26T13:26:00.006-05:00

I'm having one of those days. You know, the kind where you contemplate your life; where it is, where it is going, the decisions you made? Yea, I know-"what are you talking about Jenny??" First let me pre-empt this with the statement What a fantastic lesson today in service!!

Most of my close and dear friends and family know that I have always had a strong desire for a large family. Most of my friends will tell you that I have at some given point wanted at least 5 kids. (Now, if you are laughing you can stop reading. I don't need the criticism) I grew up in a pretty nice extended family. Both my parents are 1 of 5 siblings. I missed out on that. It's me and my brother (I love you dearly, Eric) but I really feel like I missed out. I felt isolated and alone most of my pre-teen and teenage years. Probably even into most of my adult-hood. So from a tender age I wanted to have lot's of kids. Mom, you may disagree but you also disagreed with me about money and happiness :) My problem was that I had Ian at 19 and then focused on school and work without thinking that my child-bearing years were getting behind me. Oh, I also didn't take the time to really find Jesus (He would have solved my problem quicker, I'm sure). Now that I have a very Christ centered life, everything seems so much more clear and my purpose so much more desirable. Don't get me wrong, I reap tremendous reward in my career as a nurse. For that I KNOW the Lord is using me. I just have this nagging, burning empty feeling inside. As if something is missing. My maternal instinct tells me that I am not done having children. That there is at least one more the Lord deems in my future. "Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." (Psalm 127:3-5)

My delema is focusing and listening to my Lord. Which priority comes first? My longing to bear children blessed to me, or strengthening my witness to turn the heart of my husband? See, Josh is not a believer and thus our viewpoint on children is much different. I Know with full faith that the Lord will provide for our family as long as we welcome Him into our hearts. Josh feels that we have to provide and looks at the secular, worldly reasons as to why it is not a good time for children. My view: It's not the house that makes a home, it is the tradition and happiness inside that make a home. I never have and still don't need a particular lifestyle to feel good. "naked a man comes from his mother's womb, and as he comes, so he departs. He takes nothing from his labor that he can carry in his hand" (Ecclesiatstes 5:15) It is very difficult to argue either point when we are so opposite in our beliefs. Which leads me to...

How did I end up here? How did I manage to find, fall in love with, and marry a man who is so opposite than me? How blinded was I to his non-belief? I'm trying to figure out why it was not so important to me in the beginning. 1 Answer: I was not a full fledged Christian. I knew my belief but had not turned my life over to Jesus. Now that I have, how clear life is!

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband. He comes right after God. I support him in every way a wife should. I have come to the realization that if I was not a beliver, we would probably be divorced by now. But my faith in Gods plan for me gives me faith and courage and patience. That through my witness and example, he too will come to know Jesus. "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that , if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives" (1 Peter 3:1-2)
I'm beginning to wonder if my hardest most trying "test" will be to walk with Josh until he comes to know Christ. In comparison, raising a flock of kids will be a walk in the park.

Personality

2008-10-23T20:25:00.003-05:00

Abby never fails to amaze me. Of all of our children, she seems to have been blessed with the grace and demeanor of someone beyond her years. She has recently taken up photography. No, not professionally. Not even with permission to use the camera. We just seem to find her snapping photos of inanimate objects, her sister, or herself. She has been respectful with the cameras, just fails to ask permission to use them (this does not make her brother happy, Ian likes his camera).

So the other day Josh and I were "lounging" on the bed watching the stock market fall when Abby came in to cuddle with us. I jokingly took out the camera and lo an behold, Abby started posing!! It was so cute it was funny. Josh and I could not stop laughing. At one point we wondered if CPS would come looking for us. She is a riot!!

This would be her "frog" pose. An original.

I laugh at how serious she tries to be. Posing as if

for a magazine cover!

This last one is daddy's favorite. She resembles him almost as a carbon copy. She has such a photogenic way about her, maybe we will indulge her new found love of the camera? Mind you, her Christmas 2006 photo-she is crying in it.

Ok all you grandma and grandpa's. Here is a nice close up of that sweet little devil. Don't let the looks fool you, she can be quite the sneaky trouble starter.

My September Endings....

2008-10-03T20:21:00.006-05:00

Where to begin. Or begin? Anyways, where in the world has this year gone?? I swear it was just yesterday that we were starting 2008 and now Christmas is around the corner. I hate the holiday time of year for the sheer fact that shopping and materialism are the evil in the air. They become the forefront of most people's agenda and the spirit of the season is overlooked by many. So sad.

Well, I survived my first born transcending into a high-schooler. The dance. He had a great time, looked great, and behaved himself (for all I know). He didn't take a date saying he didn't want to have to "entertain someone". Smart kid. Did you know that there are Afterparties for 9th graders? I mean, come on!! What are these parents thinking?? The kids are all of 14 years old. Going to IHOP with some parents is one thing, going to a house party is another. A parent can only pray and then leave the rest in God's hands.

good looking kid, ain't he?

Josh decided (after a big argument about Keara's skin and the carpet involvment...I accept my fair share of the responsibility) to tear up the living room and hall carpet...himself. It took him 5.5 hours and I honestly did not take him seriously when he said, "Fine. I'll just rip it up tomorrow." My bad!! Never underestimate a Capricorn. Never back a Cavender into the corner. Lesson learned. Duly noted honey!

So here I sit, in my cement floor home waiting for the one estimate that is most reasonable. We are in no rush to get the flooring done. I would like it done by halloween but we are being reasonable, fiscal, and if that means a bit of our own sweat and blood...it will be good for us. This might be a blessing in disguise? It sure would make Josh and I work together on a mutual project for the first time :)

I think the blue walls could be a project, too. Drum on Drummer.She's got some skill!!!

2008-10-03T20:13:00.002-05:00

1. October __reminds me of hot apple cinnamon cider, fresh baked sweet breads and cool fall nights at the drive in movies_.

2. Creepy Crawly bugs and ones that fly__ scare me!

3. Leaves are falling all around, it's _the best time of the year and I am 7 all over again.

4. My favorite horror movie is _Nightmare on Elm Street__ because _it was the first one to really scare me!

5. _Family + Holidays_ = good memories.

6. It was a dark and stormy night __and I was reading a good book with a cup of hot cocoa, the kids asleep.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _time with the kids, tomorrow my plans include _tying up a few loose ends and cleaning__ and Sunday, I want to _get through my first day of computer charting at work!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday Fill-in's

2008-09-26T19:39:00.003-05:00

1. _Cool weather, pumpkin pies, and football are some of the things I'm most looking forward to in October.

2. Sometimes I __totally forget what I was doing, thinking, or saying!

3. __We will never be parents like ours were! and that's why there is a saying, "never say never"!

4. When I'm down, I _build a bridge and get over it.

5. __Home (josh would say in front of the computer) or at WalMart_ is where you'll find me most often.

6. A rainy day is good for _stew, crafts, and book reading_.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to _dinner alone with Josh (my dh)_, tomorrow my plans include __sending Ian to his first HS dance_ and Sunday, I want to __be cancelled from work!! so I can attend church!

Long Lost Friend

2008-09-21T15:06:00.003-05:00

I am so excited!! After online searching off and on for the last 3.5 years, I have finally found my dearest best friend Christine "Red" Downing. Now, that isn't here current last name, just the one that is most notable to me. She'll probably kill me if she sees that I posted her undesirable nickname, but it's better than "beaner" (that would have been mine...I still use jenibean). We are planning on meeting up on Tuesday and now I can't wait!!
Life passes us by so quickly and we sometimes forget just how important people are to us until we can't see them. So much has happended in our lives and there are times I should have been there for her, but wasn't. Now I know she doesn't hold that against me, I just think I would have done her a lot of good to be in her life at that time. But God has a plan, and sometimes that means that I don't get to make the rules. Pooey. I want to . But we all know that friends come and go at times in our lives that God sees fit, times that we need them and they need us. Then we have to be reminded of how sweet those times were and go through life without that special person (or people). Lucky for us we are now, once again, going to rule the world together. Here's to a cold Dr. Pepper, cheetos and bean dip. I love you Christine!!!

On the Path to Healing...

2008-09-18T20:26:00.002-05:00

Picked up Ian from school and went for his first post-op check since removing the "hardware" from his right collar bone. That would be the screw that was placed on June 13 (what an aweful day for surgery, friday at that). Things are moving along well and the incision is healing nicely. They replaced the steri-strips (no biggie) and he will have the stiches out next Friday. Dr. Fagleman doesn't like the stiches removed by anyone other than in his office; I can appreciate that. His motto "we put 'em in, we take 'em out".
Ian's only restriction now is no contact. That translates to "no football". But he can work out to his hearts content. Oh, and he can play golf. As if he has been doing that over the last year. Go figure.

Friday Fill-in's

2008-09-12T19:24:00.003-05:00

And...here we go!
1. I enjoy ___the smell of rain.
2. __My grandparents and step dad Jim (all deceased)_ is something I wonder about often lately.
3. In your heart, you knew _I was the one_.
4. Take __Life__, add a little _Love_and struggle and you end up with _a strong marriage__.
5. Life has gifted me with _a fantastic family!
6. ___An empty calendar day__ is an instant vacation.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to _relaxing with the girls_, tomorrow my plans include _working my 12 hours_ and Sunday, I want to _Praise the Lord and attend my bible study_!

2008-09-08T15:03:00.002-05:00

Finally, a bit of news on the Keara-front. We went back for a follow up visit with Dr. Meiser and found out some insightful information; it seems our dear daughter is allergic to everything except cockroaches. Hmm. Those nasty bugs that will outlive a nuclear attack. Figures. So much for an ant farm, no, ain't having a roach farm. Well, the bright side is that we can start to treat her in about 6 months. He likes his kiddos to be able to verbalize what their body is feeling in case she has a reaction to the shots. In the meantime, we will probably be finding a new home for our dear kitty Coral. She unfortunately is allergic to animals as well. Keara is beginning to sound like my dad? We can be grateful she does not have any respiratory reactions like asthma.

Ian will be getting the screw out of his shoulder next week. He is excited since this means he will be released to full contact sport by basketball season. Yea!! This time around will be much simpler with a very quick recovery. He just has to wait 4-6 weeks for the hole where the screw was to heal in. Everything else about his break and repair looks perfect. Praise God!

Well, not much else I can think of? No, nothing special was done for my birthday. My best neighbor did buy me the BEST cupcake ever and I savored the whole thing!! Love ya, Jen! Maybe I'll get my big wish come true this year, and don't bother asking what it is...Josh knows and that is all that matters.

Who Would Have Thought?

2008-09-01T14:27:00.001-05:00

So here we are, in the middle of walmart (well hell, that right there says it all!) doing our grocery shopping when Ian decides he wants to look at shoes. "Umm...Okay, here?" (I swear that kid goes from one extreme to the other) We just talked about Journey's, now he wants to look in Wally World. Whatever. I look down the aisle and he begins running up and down the other end as if he has to find the bathroom QUICK. I'm thinking, "what the heck is he looking for?" That's when I hear it...."Hey mom!! I found them, and they fit!" to which I reply...."Let me see them". My next statement is "Are you kidding me!?" I so badly want to start laughing but he is being dead serious as I can tell by his expression of joy. All I can think of is, "wow, my life has come full circle and I am shopping with Grandpa Templar". Well, for those of you with teenagers you have probably seen the new fad. Yep, welcome back Mr. Rogers. Vans has officially brought back the slip on loafer. As Ian stood there, admiring his new found shoe, it took every ounce of refrain that I had to not point and laugh. I smiled graciously and said, "sure, for $9.97 I'd buy you two pair". Of course, as we round the bend knowing I have just made my 14 year old happy, he says "You know that guy Mr. Rogers? He used to wear these." Thanks Ian. You sure do know how to make me feel youthful. "You want to go look for a nice zip up sweater to go with those?"

Our New Garden Friend

2008-08-27T14:43:00.005-05:00

Well, look what we have here! As I meander to my small veggie garden today, I notice that one of my tomato plants looked-shall we say-thin? I mean, come on, just the other day is was bushy and fruitful. Today, no. It was nothing more than a green stalk. With a big fat Tomato Horn Worm just plumping himself up for a bit of his hibernation. So needless to say, I pulled up all of my tomato plants and began the dreadful tilling being sure to rid my garden of every last little worm I can find. For how long I do this is left to be discovered. My question is "will my cucs be affected?". Oh, and those wonderful wasp stings I suffered on Saturday... GO AND EAT THE WORMS!!! At least now we know where that gigantic moth in the garage came from. Josh thought it was a monarch butterfly...

Do You Remeber When?

2008-08-25T11:42:00.003-05:00

Today I sent my oldest child off to high school. Did you hear me, HIGH SCHOOL. I mean, where in the world has the last 14 years gone??!!?? I remember clearly the agonizing 2 hours and 41 minutes it took to push that boy out of my young body. 8lb 9oz 21.5 inches long. Now he is 120 lbs, 5'11" and growing into a very handsome, sweet, smart and talented young man. I think back over the years and realize what a blessing he has been to my life. He came along during very difficult times under not-the-greastest of circumstances and has become nothing short of amazing. I was a very young mother and wondered how in the world I would raise and support a young man and have him become all he can be. Well, I haven't done so bad and if had not been for Josh, who has taken on the role of dad in all sense of the word, we may not be in such a wonderful place. Ian continues to amaze us in how much he has grown and matured. Now as his mom, I want to keep him "little" as long as I can (he does look down on me now) and still want to push far away the milestones that are creeping up on us daily. Like driving. He wants a learners permit at 15 (which is only 3 months away) and I want him to wait until he is 16. Smart idea I tell myself. And Josh agrees. 15 and 16 year olds these days are way too immature to handle a large vehicle. We all see the horrific accidents regardless of any speed or alcohol involvement. But then I ask myself, "is this your way of controlling when he grows up? Or how he grows up?" and to that I answer: YES. I want my little boy to always be my little boy. I know I have to let go at some point, but now? Now is too soon.

I thank God for the ability and blessing to stay home with him as much as I can. I am so very grateful to his dad for supporting Ian in all he does. I am grateful that we can be present at his sporting events, get him to and from school functions, and be in the home when he is done for the day. We are a family. Despite the 11 year age gap, he adores his two little sisters and would move heaven and earth for them. They adore him. "bubba" is the greatest. To watch them all interact after a long day is precious.

So hear is to the past that has gone with the speed of light, and to the years ahead of milestones, memories, and much appreciated time together.

Friday Fill-in's

2008-08-10T17:21:00.005-05:00

Here we go:
1. You know you're old when ___you sound like your mother.
2. My heart is divided between ____home______ and ____more kids___.
3. ____Rest!__ is what I need RIGHT NOW!
4. I have felt the ___joy of motherhood_______, I have known the depths of ___despair_and poverty____.
5. Gah, won't these people _____stop being greedy_____.
6. ___Accept Christ___ as soon as you can!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to _getting home____, tomorrow my plans include __being an outstanding nurse___ and Sunday, I want to __REST___!

Injury #3...

2008-08-06T12:05:00.004-05:00

You know, I sometimes wonder what kind of "hangman" game it is that God plays? I've always known (having worked in the critical care field long enought) that EVERYthing happens in 3's. Code Blue...just wait, 2 more on their way and 1 will without a doubt be at shift change. So it is no wonder that we have once again, found ourselves in the midst of another beating.

Monday evening Keara and Abby were running around the couch while I was preparing, moreso preping, for dinner when all of a sudden I hear a loud scream followed immediately by loud crying. I run over to Keara to find her holding her forhead and when she moves her hand....yep, you got it-scalp wounds bleed like a stuck pig. OUCH! A nice laceration to her right eye. Same spot as daddy did 4 years ago but just the other eye. I get it all cleaned up, put some ice on it for about 5 minutes and then re-evaluate it. Uhhh.....crap. Even I am convinced it needs some stiches. So off we go to AcuteKids and she unwillingly gets her eye "glued", meaning no stiches!! :) [A fantastic pediatric urgent care facility I might add]

Tuesday we went to see Dr. Meiser [www.aactmd.com] for an eczema/immunilogical evaluation. LOVE HIM. A doctor who is into the cause of Keara's problems, not just pushing prescriptions. Well, one treatment he really stressed was putting her in wet wraps. So for the last 2 days we have had her in 2 pairs of pajama's the first pair wet (with lots of aquaphor on her skin) and the second pair dry and you would not believe the difference!! I was totally shocked at the results. For the 1st time in I can't remember when, she did NOT itch after her nap! At all!! For the rest of the day!! I was close to tears of joy and relief. To know that there is a way for her to not be so miserable and self destructive just melts a mothers heart. There is nothing more that her dad and I want than a healthy, happy, itch free life for her.

2008-08-03T23:08:00.002-05:00

Here we go:
1. If I could travel back in time, I'd go to _little house on the prairie_____.
2. Give me ___sanity___ or give me ___padded walls__.
3. I am listening to ____my computer humm...__.
4. Somewhere, someone is thinking ___but it isn't me!_.
5. I'll always be ___proud of my husband and children__.
6. My idea of a good time includes ___lots of laughter and friends_.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to __being home___, tomorrow my plans include __by brother's barbeque___ and Sunday, I want to __Praise HIM!!!!

Summer Update

2008-07-24T12:45:00.007-05:00

Wow! How busy our summer has been. Where should I begin?

Ian finally had his shoulder repaired (on Friday the 13th of all days). He required a bone graft and screw which will be removed in October. 4 weeks after that he can go back to full contact sports. Until then, he misses out on his Freshman year of football. A sad thing, but he is happy that he will get to try out for either basketball or soccer. He is still deciding which to play. His arm is still in a sling, but tomorrow is the last of the 6 weeks and the arm comes out. We will find out Monday what his physical therapy will be and for how long. He has tried to maintain equality among "the Guns" during this time :)

We had the great pleasure of driving to Rochester NY and visiting family for a total of 11 days. My dad and step-mom could not have been happier to have all of the grandkids together and enjoying each other. The girls favorite part was the garden in the back yard, feeding the birds and the fish and just wandering around. How my step mom can put flowers wherever and have them look professionally planted is beyond me. I can't get fruit from my vegetable plants in this Texas heat. We visted Niagra falls for a day, had a family "picnic" and saw cousins I had not seen in quite some time with their new families.

Ian had fun with Jerry and Morgan (our neice and nephew). He and Jerry were 2 peas in a pod; one with a broken shoulder the other a broken ankle. We had a wonderful stay with them and look forward to seeing everyone again, soon.

(Ian and Jerry are 3 months apart in age)

I love this picture of my dear Grandma Schultz. Isn't she beautiful?? These are her 5 great-grandkids from left: Caden, Abby, Brenna, Ian, and Keara. Is it me, or do they all have Irish/scottish names??

Daddy and his girls on the Canadian side of the falls. Abby looks smitten with him...she is "daddy's little girl"

Josh and my step-brother Pete hanging out in my dad's driveway.

We also spent some time at my Uncle Scott and Aunt Lisa's house in Lima, NY. This is his brother, my Uncle Gary and his "new lady friend". Isn't she cute? She seems to be tailored to handle his otherwise, impervish personality :) Finally, someone versed in dealing with "Special Kids"!! We had a great time with all of them (being from my mom's side of the family) and could not get over how big the "girls" are (they are fraternal twins). Talk about drop dead gorgeous!!

My dad dancing with his girls around the living room. What a good sport he is!

The rest of our good news lies in Josh finally landing his dream job at a Golf Course!! Yea! How bad can it be to wake up 5 days a week and say to yourself "I have to go to the golf course again??" I am so happy for him.

Life has been busy with church, kids, home and work. I still smile when I think about my decision to move to CVICU, what a blessing it has been. Keara will be seeing an immunologist soon, and hopefully we can figure something out. She gets a wee bit better for a while, then backslides with her skin and infections.

I'll try to post a bit more often, it can be hard to find time with all that is going on. High School and Preschool are on the horizon (Abby and Keara from home, of course) so my days will be jam packed! I have lots of goals set for myself and hope to meet most if not all of them!! Keep us in your prayers, and blessings to everyone.

Summer is Here!

2008-06-20T20:37:00.003-05:00

The heat is upon us, and tomorrow marks Summer Solstace. We have had nothing but chaos and blessings in our home over the last few weeks. Ian had his surgery: a bone graft and screw to his right collar bone. Now he spends the summer in an arm immobilizer and what he feels is a "wasted summer vacation". Abigail had her first annual Ballet Recital dancing to "Lonesome Butterfly" which was adorable!

My dear husband has, at last, landed himself a much deserved position with a very reputable golf course here in our area. We are so proud of him, and so thankful that he will finally begin the journey to a life long passion of his. Please keep praying for his eventual acceptance into the PGA program.

I have at last finished my Orientation to the CVICU and could not be happier. This was by far the best move I could make and I find myself working amongst a fantastic and skilled group of nurses. The entire staff is great, and my welcoming is more than I could have wished for. Here is to a long relationship!

We leave soon on the road to Rochester, NY to visit with family, a visit that is long overdue. I look forward to the precious time with my grandmother, and fun times being "daddy's girl" once again. It will be a car full with 5 of us, but enjoyable at least. Here's to nostalgic summer road trips!!

Abby and Ian chillin on the couch pre-surgery

one last game of Guitar Hero before surgery

Grandma C visits again!
Finally, cherry tomatoes blossom!
Abby in full costume for her dress rehearsal

Hospital Trips

2008-05-24T17:19:00.005-05:00

Yet once again, we struggle with the ongoing illnesses of our youngest daughter. Keara had developed an odd looking wound on the end of her left index finger sometime Saturday or Sunday. Well, lucky for Keara momma knows that red+inflammed+pus= INFECTION. So I called her Pediatrician who takes a very strong stand for our dear little girl, and had her put on Bactrim (antibiotic) since she recently had MRSA of her hands and feet. (Methycillan Resistant Staphalycoccus Aureus). Well, needless to say that it started to get worse and spread to other fingers by Wednesday. So come Thursday (May 22nd) we went from sitting in the Pediatricans office to sitting in a hospital room in the Pediatric Wing awaiting our first doses of Vancomycin and Cleocin; two very strong IV antibiotics. This set the precedence for a fun and eventful Friday.

The very start of her right index finger

Her left index finger with beginning necrosis

The Pediatric Hospitalist decided her fingers looked bad enough (with worsening necrotic areas) to have the ICU intensivist come and see her. They, in need of a case study, began literature research based on all of her symptoms searching for any underlying issues that may have been overlooked (quite refreshing for Josh and I). In the meantime she is having a Uticaric flare up, but not itching??

By this time Mommy and Daddy are tired, frustrated, and ready to see her begin to heal. Mind you, we have Ian and Abigail at home so there is mass chaos in trying to coordinate care. A Grateful THANK YOU to our dear neighbors The Stubbs!! They are truly a blessing :)

Ok, so the Hospitalist comes in and tells me that she is trying to find a Pediatric Plastic Surgeon who specializes in Hands. Have you ever looked for one??? Yea, few and far between is an understatement. She is fearful that her fingers will need repair once they are opened, and wants to have the best doctors available. Soooo, off we go via Ambulance to Medical City Children's in Dallas.

Let me go back and just add that albeit Presby Plano is a small hospital, it has an AWESOME Pediatric unit with the doctors, nurses, lab techs, dietary staff, housekeeping, you name it. We could not have been made to feel more comfortable and confident with everyone. Praise and Recognition to Sue RN, Jessy RN, Stephanie RN, Dr.'s Skranika and Frost and the rest of the staff!!!

After a brief rush-hour accident on good 'ol I-75, we finally arrive to Medical City at just about shift change. Yea. We nurses know how fun a last minute admission is :) The attending MD decided after a thorough evaluation that she would take Keara to the Treatment Room (with Daddy) and Lance her fingers, cleaning out the debris. This was done to both index fingers. Now mind you, Keara is in a full blown Uticaric and Eczema flare up and has been given Benadryl, Vistaril, Zyrtec and is still going strong. But low and behold, she prevails with a smile and a new coloring book!

By the next morning (Saturday) we are looking 100% better, acting better, and get to go home with NO IV medications :)

I still can't quite believe how parents can handle life with a chronically ill child. What a blessing for us that even though she does have issues, they are no where near as bad as some families have. Thank you to my parents, in-laws, brother and (future) sister-in-law, niece, neighbors, and all who have offered support and prayers. I truly believe that it is the prayers that led Keara to such a quick, minimally invasive recovery.

Go Rams!! District Champions 2008

2008-05-19T16:02:00.004-05:00

Ian #20 Roach Rams 8th Grade Soccer

There is a Season...

2008-05-12T22:39:00.004-05:00

These past few months seem to have gone by so quickly! Summer is nearly upon us and Lord I feel like I have accomplished nothing. Abigail is progressed no further with her preschooling, all due to my lack of persistence. It sure makes it a bit more difficult when I am having to work more than my usual 2 days a week. It amazes me just how much more time I have for home and my children by cutting back on just one day a week. I feel like I am letting her down, even though her desire to learn is still very strong (and for that I am grateful).

Things are still a bit rough here with Josh pursuing a new career option. We are cared for first by our Lord, then closely behind from our family and friends. We could not do it without everyone and for that we are immensly grateful. I know in due time, his calling will work out and he can follow his dreams paving a road of happiness for himself. Through Christ all things are possible.

I signed up for one of our Home Groups with Church. This will be a very positive thing for me. I definitely need more spiritual guidance, and need to be surrounded and grounded by those that hold dear the same beliefs and practices as me. I am doing everything in my power to be a true witness in my home, and if this helps strengthen me, then bring it on!!

Ian will be playing in the District Soccer Meet this weekend. His school is going into it in First Place!! Yea!! I wish them all the best of luck, for they are playing so much better as a team than at the beginning of the year.

I will be officially making a career change on May 25th. It is off to the CVICU that I go. I will be taking on Cardiovascular Surgical patients (versus the medical) and moving on to IABP and CRRT. 2 goals of mine to accomplish before I retire (many years from now). I am very excited to be moving on to a highly motivated team with great leadership qualities. I will still be working part time, which I don't think I will ever change? I may have to work extra on occasion, but never sign up for the workload on a permanent basis again. There are 3 reasons at home, and God willing, there will be more.

I find myself repeating, it seems, the same thoughts each time I journal. Is it my way of reinforcing them to myself? Am I that amazed that I can feel so profoundly and deeply for something that is so selfless?? I don't know, maybe it's just that I don't have the secure support for my feelings that I would like to have. Like I am having to prove myself, yet once again, to those I care for as if I'm not good enough.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus." Philippians 2:3-5

Keara turns 2

2008-04-10T15:27:00.004-05:00

My gosh, how time flies! I can clearly remember the easy labor and quiet bonding time that Keara and I had for 2 whole days in the hospital. How dark and wavy her hair looked, and that she, unlike Abby, fit into her newborn clothes to go home in. I loved having the 12 weeks off to be home with her and it was the best time ever. Nursing went so much easier this time around, but she never quite slept like her older sister. I think with Keara it is when I truly realized how precious my kids are, and how much I want to do nothing other than be a mom. Now my sweet little baby girl is a big 2 year old.
She has had so many obstacles to overcome with her food allergies, seasonal allergies, eczema, asthma, so on and so forth. Yet she is the most smiling, happy, and cuddling child of all. She will interact with just about anyone she comes across.
We had small little celebration, and their friend Amelie cam over to have cupcakes with her. Abby was proud to sing "Happy Birthday" all by herself. Keara wasn't up for much smiling, she had a cupcake to devour.

Keara enjoying her first chocolate cupcake!

She just can't get enough of it

I took the girls to the Fort Worth Zoo for the day. Keara was beside herself! She wanted to climb up on every railing she could to see what her big sister was looking at. And that she got to see so many animals that she could recognize was the coolest part. I think if left alone, she might have stayed with the monkeys :)

These 2 photos were of the most awesome part of all, the Parakeet Cove (?). It is a huge walk-in "bird cage" where the parakeet's, cockatiel's and dove's fly around freely. I purchased a "seed stick" one for each so they could feed the birds. Abby had no trouble at all, but Keara was a wee bit on the short side and needed some help. They both had birds sitting on the sticks eating seed and they had the biggest smile's on their face!! Poor Keara, she kept trying to pet the birds and they wouldn't let her :(

2008-03-30T16:41:00.003-05:00

Do you ever stop to think of why you are on the road you're on? Do you wonder where life and circumstances are taking you, and what your role is in all of it? Sometimes I feel like putting on my mucking boots because the perverbial poo-poo seems to be getting to too deep.

I found out a mutual friend is pregnant with her FIFTH child. How awesome is that!!??!! I must admit I am very jealous of her. All my life I have wanted lots of kids. I'm talking like four or five. Heck, at this point I would be happy having as many as the Lord wanted to bless me with. I love being pregnant, love giving birth but the best part is being there while they grow up and nurturing them until they fly the nest. Knowing that they are who they are because of their parents. How can you not want that? Don't get me wrong, I have 3 beautiful children that I am blessed to have, but deep down I yearn for more. A yearning so deep and strong I don't think it will ever go away.

We've had a lot of success this week with our "preschool work". I try to catch Abby on her good days when she is really interested, and then we have a lot of fun. Some days I'm lucky to get 15 minutes out of her. When she shows interest, Keara is not far behind wanting to copy whatever sister is doing. They are growing so close in their relationship now and I do hope that it lasts for the rest of their lives. They share a room together and I imagine that they share whispers at night, sometimes a little too loud for mommy and daddy to allow :) I know there will come a day that they will despise having to share a room, but they'll work it out because in the long run, it's good for them.
Ian won his first Soccer game this week. I missed it. Had to work. That's the part that I hate, missing out on the important things especially since there are not many years left for him before he's off to college. WOW! I can't believe it is becoming that close!
Oh, my lettuce and carrot seeds are peeking through the dirt!! I'm so excited that I've gotten them this far :) Wish me luck, I have a long way to go.
Well, here's to hoping that we can figure out what will happen and where we will be this summer. To enjoying our precious children answered prayers. I hear screaming in the background-girls are in full swing right out of naps!

Easter

2008-03-23T19:57:00.000-05:00

What another fabulous and blessed day!! I love the Easter season. What better time to re-commit our lives than during the season of re-birth and renewal? It brings about a profound sense of living with planting season, spring time, flowers beginning to bloom, and sunshine and warmth abounding. We get to lose those winter "blahs" and get invigorated with energy. Spring cleaning, here I come!! (OK, maybe another day for that) We had a great time at Church (http://www.fellowshipofstonebridge.org/ ) listening to an awsome sermon by Pastor Ryan and doing the egg hunt, then a great family dinner at my mom and Rick's with my brother Eric, his fiance Saydonica and her daughter katelyn. A good friend of my mom's (Kim) was there to celebrate with us as well. The only sad part of today was finding out my step-mom's mom had passed away yesterday. She was well into her 90's and now at much peace.

Say (29) and Eric (30)

Keara and Uncle Eric (30)

Me, Nana, Keara and Abby

Keara (23 mo), Ian (14) and Abigail (3)

Abigail @ the egg hunt

Keara @ the egg hunt

Katy (7), Keara (23 mo) and Abby(3)

Me and my girls

Life, Unequally Yoked

Seventh Heaven

Times Are Changing...

I'm Amazed

To Raise a Scholar

I Find You When I Fall Apart

Let it go, let it go, let it go...

Another save!

Thanks?

Just a Post

Shiny and New

A Gentle Reminder

Thoughts Over Dawn

A seed begins to grow

Week 1 Survived!

I Got Ian!

The First and Last First

*shrug*

Sweet keara

trip, trip, Hooray!

Once Upon a Time

Oh, my lord.

Awaiting...

Just a Monday

Stoked!!

*sigh*

Coupons, Coupons and More Coupons!

Herbs de Provence

Goal!

The last of the First's

Time for a Quick Note!

Melancholy

Yikes!!

Loss, Life and Love

Family

Hodge Podge

A Supernatural Sunday

Arrived at Station 1

Thought of the Day

Perfect Love

Photo Op!

Lazy Days

Friday!

New Year, New Beginnings

Christmas 2010

A Royal Mess

Just passing through...

To Santa or Not to Santa

Perfection at Slacking

She's got....PERSONALITY!

Date Night!

BrocoLLI!

Welcome back!

Update! Update!!

Happy New Year

Tis the Season!

Ugh. It is a feeling.

Morning

Catch-up

Anew

Morning

August 13

July 29

July 23rd

Yesterday

July 13, 2009

Summer Update

Summer Cometh

So Much Fun!!

Spring is in the Air

My 2009 Late Start!

WOW!!!!

My "Timely" Update...

Personality

My September Endings....

Friday Fill-in's

Long Lost Friend

On the Path to Healing...

Friday Fill-in's

Who Would Have Thought?

shrug

sigh